EMPTY LOVE

VII. I'm Sorry

RUEL

I spot her in the front of the crowd as she mouths Ruel with a confused look.

I continue to talk to the crowd without locking eyes with her again. I know, kinda shitty of me. I have a ton of explaining to do.

I go on performing for the crowd. New York City gives off a lot of energy which I love.

Everytime I sing Dazed and Confused I look to Brandy for the reasons how she makes me feel like a kid in love.

I'm going to loose my head falling for her and I intend to. I want to get to know her more despite the circumstances. Distance. She lives in Queens and I live all the way in Sydney.

I'll risk it all for her.

I sing the rest of my songs. Unsaid and
Hard Sometimes are the ones out of all of my songs that I would say hit hard the most for me. I still remember how I got myself to write Hard Sometimes. I always think about it.

Before I finish my last song Brandy squeezes her way out of the hall and leaves.

After my last song I thank everyone for coming. I interact with the fans for a bit before I exit the stage to grab a water bottle.

Most of my energy is drained from the show but I can still manage. I take off my open button down since I'm sweating.

Coco isn't anywhere to be seen so I assume she and Brandy are together... in the dressing room. Great. My nerves start getting the best of me as I think of what I'm going to say to her. I walk up to the dressing room and take a deep breath before turning the door knob.

She's standing in front of me, her face filled with concern and confusion. The reason she's feeling that way is because of me. She's frozen in her place because she doesn't know what to say, again my fault.

"Don't hate me" is all I can say meeting her eyes.

Don't hate me because I lied to you about who I am. Don't hate me because I'm starting to fall for you. Don't hate me because I didn't want to hurt you in anyway.

"Uhm I'm gonna go, you two need to talk things out" Coco speaks up as she exists the room.

"I don't. I just want to know why" she says.

"I know. Can I change real quick? I'm-"

"Yeah sure" she answers.

I make my way to the rack with clothes and quickly change out of my shirt to the black tshirt from the rack.

"Do you want to sit down?"

Brandy turns around hearing me and sits down across from me on the sofa

"Are you going to explain now?" she questions.

"Yes, I am" I say taking a deep breath before I explain. "You can ask questions if you want" I add and she nods.

"So what really is your name?"

"Ruel Vincent Van Dijk" I answer.

"You know, Kendall was right. A few people came up to me saying Ruel but I was too in denial. Yet confused." she mentions.

"I didn't quite lie about why I'm here though"

"I know. Why didn't you tell me who you are? It felt so weird to be in a place and not know anyone. I sort of felt so stood up. You were here but you couldn't even reply to my texts. People know who I am now and it's weird. Maybe you like the attention but I don't" she finishes.