Eclipse - arranged marriage Jaebum

eclipse part 16

Jaebum stop the car at a park and giving me a look which I understand and get off with him. It’s empty and dark with only a street lamp illuminate the way. I walk to a bench and take a seat in there and jaebum did the same following my lead. We fell in to another silence again. I waited patiently letting him gather his thought . I can clearly see that he is nervous . He run his hand through his hair making his perfectly styled hair messy . Seeing his hesitation i decided to speak first
“you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to” his gaze shift to me all most immediately
“no no it’s not that I do want to clear things with you . It’s just that ..” he avatar his gaze from my face to the swing in front of him
“First of all I’m sorry for that day , I must have been a jerk to you “ I raise my eye brow at him he isn’t certain .
“can your recall what happened “ i said eyeing him
“I.. can’t “ he said guilty written all over his face
I was right then
“were you drunk jaebum “
“ I had a few drinks but I wasn’t drunk” I look at him confused and wait for him to continue
“That day it was my grandmother’s memorial day “ i look at him surprised . Well I didn’t know that
“I went to see their graves .... I’m sorry I should have take you with me “ he said looking down . I can already sense that there are more to come .
“did she died because of the age jaebum “ I asked out of pure curiosity but to see hint of anger flash behind his sad eyes
“ah well no . She died because of my parents actually “ he shocked me with his straight forward words and the amount of hatred behind them.
“I spend my entire childhood with my grandparents . They raised me and gave the love that i never received from my parents . Even when I was just a baby my parents were so caught up with the company and neglect me entirely .
It was my grandmother who take me under her wings and raised me . Back then I was so used to her touch and ended up crying if anyone other than her to hold me even if it’s my own mother. She was there for me and love me so much to the point that i didn’t even miss my own parents .sure they visited me time to time but we never get along and every time they come they argued with my grandparents. he look at me and I gave him a look of encourage to him to continue .
So same thing happened on my birthday when they came home that day they insist to take me back with them . I cried while clinging to my grandmother who begged them to not to separate me from her but of course they didn't  listen . She was a heart patient from the start and thought of me separating from her sadden her to the point she ended up having a sudden heart attack . She was already dead when they take her to the hospital .and to the this day I clearly remember twelve old me crying over her dead body and clutching to her cold hand which never hold me back nor radiate the same warmth ” He let out a broken sigh his expression held both sad and anger.  I sneaked my arm to his while softly holding it and waiting for him to pull away but to my surprise he let them be while looking at our now holding hands .
“they take me with them after the funeral leaving my grandpa alone and force me to an entire different life style soon my grandpa followed her too.  They did it to her and change me to someone even I would question myself . I ... never celebrate my birthday after that it won’t be same  with out her,  it’s just a miserable day in my life now” he finished with a heavy sigh but i notice weight on his words even now it must be take him lot to open up.
“I’m really sorry i’m not making excuses but I wasn’t in a right state of mind , i was a mess and I..”
“I understand and I’m sorry about your grandmother “ i said
“don’t be if one to be sorry it should be them” he said with a dry chuckle . It’s hurt me to see his anger toward his parents but then again it wasn’t his fault he was just a boy
We fell in to silence . Comfortable one this time. We both have lot of thoughts running through our mind right now. I was thinking about jaebum . Now I understand why he is distance and cold toward his parents .
“your fingers are cold as ice Let’s get you home before you catch cold” he said while rubbing my hand in his big warm ones . My heart skip a beat at his warm action . I look at his concern face looking down at my hands . He get up from his sitting position pulling me up with him . He lead us back to the car and start the engine . I look back at the small park and where we were seated while ago. I feel warmth spreading through my body to the thought of he trust me to share something so close to him. Sure our current situation makes him do that but still he trust me enough for that and thinking about his parents my mind drift to my own parents . Am I too tough on them? 
"And Yoojin"
"Hmmm " I turn my head toward him
"Thank you" he said sincerely . I understand what he meant and gave him a soft smile which he gladly return .

Written by @naveeranasinghe