She's lost

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She allowed her self to get lost in him and it shouldn't be. Why get lost in someone who isn't lost in you? That will only bring emotional pain. Leave it. Leave him. Now! Please

I allowed my self to feel too much for him, and I know he loves me because he said it and showed it but he doesn't love me like I want him to and it's ohkay, I'm ohkay with it

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I allowed my self to feel too much for him, and I know he loves me because he said it and showed it but he doesn't love me like I want him to and it's ohkay, I'm ohkay with it. I don't want to force anything and it doesn't work out, I don't want to get hurt so my wall is always up. I have school and my studies to focus on a place for my self my job I'm trying really hard to keep everything and the last thing I need is my dick supplier giving me hell. I was tired of it, not his dick that I don't think I'll be tired of that. I'm tired if this game we are playing and it's really headaching. It makes me question my feelings for him and I don't want to have to do that.
My birthday is coming up and I don't feel like celebrating but knowing Kassidy I'm going to have to.

I was took out my thoughts when I felt a warm hand touch my face. "It's early what are you thinking about?"

I looked up at Lucas wondering why I'm not in the hospital "Nothing."

"Amy?" He said softly "Are you ohkay?"

I got up off the bed pulling the sheets off "Yeah I'm fine. When did I leave the hospital?"

"Uh ohkay" he paused looking at me as I waked around the room grabbing my things and throwing them in his direction "Last night. You don't remember?"

"No and I don't want to. Uhm you making me breakfast?"

"Yeah I already did it's in the kitchen"

"Thanks" I didn't bother to look at him I just went and stuffed my face. When I was finished I was still hungry, he knows I doesn't eat alot so he didn't make alot, this is rare. So I just got some cereal for my second course.

After I finished sorting my stuff out I sat on the bed and scrolled all over Instagram.

A couple hours passed with me staring at my phone, and planning for Lucas. He had left for whatever reason I don't Remember what he said don't care, I was alone and I liked it. This way I get to plan what I'm going to do after graduation. Graduation is in 5 months exams have already started.

Again Lucas bothers my thoughts, I see the incoming call and thought to my self " he better me asking me about food" I was right

'Yeah?' I answered .

'I'm on my way back. You need anything? Food?'

'Yes, I need a milkshake I need soda yes yes I know but I want it and later we get pizza' .

'uhmm ohkay.' Yeah I'm not getting that milkshake

I was hoping we could do a movie night thing tonight, secretly enjoying my last moments with him before I leave. No he doesn't know I'm leaving and I am not ready to tell him.

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