Ain't No Sharing You

Playing God?

"I have those tapes, Camille." My mom said flicking imaginary lint from her shoulder. "Please don't make me use them."

"Tapes of what? What is she talking about?" Jus looked back and forth between us.

"How do you think we could afford the cars, clothes, hell the rent?" I asked Justyce.

"I don't know. I asked and she told me not to worry about it. To let her take care of me. So I didn't question it. It wasn't  often that she was nice to me."

"Camille, you don't want to do this." Cat warned with an arched eyebrow.

"No! I was taking care of you, Justyce. I use to beg you to stay home, but you always left. Your hate for her was stronger than your love for me."

"Cammy, what's going on? Talk to me."

"She used me to pay off debts and make money. It's not that I was her favorite, I was her meal ticket."

"Shut up, Camille."

"You know my first sexual experience was with my mom? Then she watched as General had his way with me."

"What the fu- get out! You are sick! I swear on my life if you don't leave voluntarily you'll be leaving in a body bag." Jus threatened her.

"That's why I didn't pick you. You were always my little ghetto baby." Cat taunted unfazed by the threats.

"I'm leaving, but Camille we'll talk."

As soon as the door closed Justyce asked me why I never said anything. Every detail came out of my mouth like a waterfall. Never did I think that I would ever say anything. For so long I was her puppet. Just to finally say it to someone other than God lifted a huge weight off of my shoulder.

"I could've helped you, Cammy. I would do anything for you." Jus cried.

"You sacrifice for the people you love."

"Not those kind of sacrifices. You should've just let General kill her."

"There were times I would lay there and hope that he would put a bullet in me. I would do things to piss him off, but she always convinced him to let me live."

"She used you, Camille. It wasn't your fault. You were a child she was supposed to protect you." Justyce hugged my tightly and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I'm tired, Jus. I'm so tired. I love you so much never forget that." I smiled.

"I love you too, butterfly," she said laughing and giving me another hug. "Get you some rest and I'll see you in the morning."

I headed to the guest room and locked myself in. I pulled out a notebook and began to write down everything I felt in that moment. I felt empty, worthless, dirty. I let Brandon beat me because I didn't know that love wasn't supposed to hurt. I was so messed up that I didn't know if I was coming or going. I did know one thing though, I was tired. I was weak and I was tired. I couldn't even love myself anymore. What's the point of living if you didn't have love?

I went to my bag and rummaged through it. It only took me a few minutes to find exactly what I was looking for. Everyone else played "God" with my life. Why couldn't I? I was the bottles and poured the contents on the bed. Just as I picked them up my phone started to ring. I gladly rejected the call. The phone kept ringing. I turned my phone off because they were being persistent. I opened the water bottle that was on the nightstand and put my hand to my mouth.

Just as I was about to fill my mouth there was a knock on the door. I paused and considered opening it, but I needed to finish what I was doing.

"Cammy, open up." Jus said turning the knob trying to get in. "Camille, I know you're not sleep that fast." She said and knocked on the door again.

I looked at the door and whispered, "I'm sorry, Justyce." She knocked again and kept knocking.

"Open the door!" Justyce banged on the door. "Daniel! Daniel come here! Something's not right open the door."

Daniel was a buff construction worker so I knew it wouldn't take him long to get the door opened. I took my hand and filled my mouth chasing it with water. Just as I was putting my hand up to my mouth a second time the door came down.

"Camille, no!" Jus cried and ran over to me sticking her fingers in my mouth trying to get the pills out. Thanks to Brandon I had multiple prescriptions for pain meds and sleeping pills.

"How many did you take?" She asked looking at the piles of pills on the bed.

I didn't answer her and I felt myself getting lightheaded.

"The ambulance is on the way," Daniel said picking up the bottles reading them. "Make sure to keep her awake. I'm goin to make sure the kids are still sleep."

Justyce held me as she cried. "Come on don't close your eyes. God please don't let her die. Talk to me, Cammy."

"I'm tired, Jus." I mumbled and let my eyes close.

***Vote, Comment, Share***

**********************************

Merry Christmas, loves! Just a gift from me to you! Remember Jesus is the reason for the season. Don't forget the baby this holiday!!!