Kaun Mujhe Yun Pyar Karega Jaise Tu Karta Hai

Some Past...Some Understanding

Sidharth turned her on the bed and comes over her putting his weight on his one elbow and other hand on her cheeks...he wiped her tears and kissed all over her face..he kissed her forehead and eyes at last and ask her not to cry anymore..

Tere sath itna sab hua lekin tune mujhe bataya kyu nahi kabhi..kya mai tere bharose ke layak nahi tha..kya mujhe ye sab janne ka haq nahi tha..
He asked her while cupping her cheek with one hand

Mujhe dar tha ki tu bhi shayad mere gharwalon ki tarha mujhpe yakin nahi karega..tu gussa ho jata hai ek dam..tujhe chhoti chhoti baat pe gussa aata hai to mai dar gayi thi ki tujhe pata lagega to tu shayad mujhe maaf na kare mujhe khud se alag kar de ya mujhe galat samjhe jese sabne samjha..aur mai tere se alag hone ka soch bhi nahi sakti hoon kabhi bhi..mujhe teri aadat hai mere lye agar is duniya me ab koi hai wo sirf tu aur maa hain..iske alawa mere lye ab koi zaruri nahi hai..sab mar gaye hain mere lye...jis din tujhse shadi hui thi usi din mene decide kar lya tha kabhi mud kar nahi dekhungi un sabko yahan tak ki apne papa ko bhi..unhone kabhi mujhe palat ke nahi dekha kabhi nahi pucha mai kesi hoon kabhi mera khayal nahi aya unhe aur jab mujhe unse ummeed thi ki wo mera sath denge mujhe samjhenge mujhpe bharosa karenge to unhone mujhe ghar se he nikaal dya ye kehkar ki unka mera koi rishta nahi hai..
Ye shehnaaz usi din mar gyi thi jab unke mun se wo alfaaz nikle the aur usi time mene khud ko...
She stops suddenly and look into his eyes

Khud ko kya??
He asked getting curious

K-kuch n-nahi..
She said Closing her eyes

Shehnaaz khud ko kya??mujhe pura sunna hai??
He asked sternly

Tu gussa to nahi hoga??
Promise kar gussa nahi hoga plz??
She asked while opening her eyea are closed

Fine..batao ab??
He said

Mene suicide karne ki koshish ki thi..
She said hurriedly and closed her eyes again

He didn't said anything for few seconds as he was shocked with the news..

When she didn't heard any answer she opened her one eye and saw him..his jaws are clenched and his nostrils are flared in anger..suddenly he moves away from her but she holds his arm..
Plz sidharth tune promise kia tha tu gussa nahi karega..
She said in a choking voice
He looked at her..tears falling from her eyes and a pleading look on her face

He sighed on laid down on bed again keeping his hand on her waist..

Ek baat meri kaan khol kar sun le tu aur apne dimag me bithale bohot ache se..life me kuch bhi ho jaye kuch bhi kabhi khud ko hurt nahi karegi tu..koi bhi problem ho sab thik ho jayegi lekin life kabhi wapas nahi milti hai..aur agar koi problem hai wo thik nahi ho rahi hai to chhod us problem ko aage badh apna dimag kisi aur chiz me laga apne aap ko busy kar..tu mujhe agar kuch samajhti hai to mere sar pe hath rakh ke meri kasam kha ki tu kabhi khud ko hurt nahi karegi..
He asked her to swear on him

Tu kab se kasam manne laga..
She asked in disbelief

Tu maanti hai na islye bola hai..aur bakwas band kar kasam kha meri jaldi se..
He asked her again

Teri kasam lage kuch nahi karungi khud ko..
She swears on him

Ab ye bata kya kia tha tune apne sath..aur sach bolna chhupana nahi..
He asked

Tu gussa ho jayega phir se..
She said

Nahi hounga..tu bol
He told her

Mujhe dar lagta tha khoon dekhkar to mai cut nahi kar sakti thi khud ko islye mai orphanage ke second floor se kood gayi thi..aur bura tab hua jab neeche giri to orphanage ke aas paas jo wire fence thi wo ghus gayi mere pait k paas..mene dekha he nahi koodne se pehle ki niche kya hai us waqt dimag nahi chal raha tha..mai 1 hafte tak coma me rahi thi lekin phr dheere dheere thik ho gayi..kuch din baad orphanage aayi wapas to bachon ne mujhe bohot himmat di aur aise mai apni taklif bhulne lagi..kuch din psychiatrist ko consult bhi kia tha..wahan ki jo supervisor thi wo bohot achi thi unhone doctor ke sath mere kuch sessions bhi karwaye...phr thik ho gayi thi..lekin kbhi kbhi bure sapne bhi aate hain dar bhi lagta hai..
She said