The Universe and Beyond

Universe 11: Sunset

ZEN

Now we're going to the hill to paint for real. We already wasted a day and I don't think we can waste another. Although it's nicer and easier to slack sometimes.

While driving, I noticed Rozend's refreshing smile and he's no longer down like yesterday. He's in a good mood today and once again the sun rises with a bright and blinding glow. And I like him when he's bright and glowing.

But I just realized that I'm not the only one who's experiencing those ups and downs. Rozend is just like me too. Maybe I should really pay attention to the people around me too and not focus on myself alone.

We carried our things up the hill - with our foldable stools, easels and painting tools and Rozend's guitar case. I bring my camera because I don't want to miss any perfect pictures from now on.

Rozend sets up our easels and stools. Isinandal niya ang guitar case niya sa katawan ng isang puno. I turned to him. I'm not really sure how to paint the sun in him. Will I be able to paint him perfectly? And I didn't realize that I'm eyeing him with worry and he noticed.

Why am I so unsure of myself sometimes?

"Something bothering you?" he asked with a warm smile.

"I don't know how to paint you. I don't know where to start," I admitted.

He chuckled on my odd statement. "You can just paint the sun literally," he teased.

I rolled my eyes. "I want it to be perfect."

"But I'm not perfect. I have my own flaws," he insisted. "Paint me, flaws, scars and all. Paint me the way you see me, Zen. It doesn't have to be perfect. Perfection isn't our friend."

Bumuntong-hininga ako at matamang tinitigan siya. There's kindness and understanding in his bright caramel eyes. And he's not really pressuring me to do something perfect.

"Alright. Then I'll just watch you closely for now," saad ko.

"Don't look too closely or you'll discover my mysteries," he teased with a light grin.

"But I want to add your mysteries in my painting," pang-aasar ko pabalik sa kanya. "How about you? Alam mo na ba kung paano ako ipipinta."

"Don't worry about me. I'm already watching closely," he said with a smile. "Do you want me to model for you or what?"

He's already watching closely? What's that? He already figured out how to paint me? "So I don't need to model for you?" kunot-noong tanong ko.

"I don't think you can model for me. You will just be conscious of yourself," pang-aasar niya. "Just do your thing. Maybe you can start by sketching me from time to time. You'll definitely figure how to portray me in your painting soon," nakangiting saad niya.

"Then I will take pictures of you from time to time too. You don't have to be conscious. Just act naturally like you always do," nakasimangot na sabi ko. I'm not really sure on how to model for him too. So I'm silently grateful that I don't have to model for him.

Tumango siya sa 'kin. Kinuha niya ang drawing pad niya at sumandal sa puno katabi ng gitara niya. He started to sketch in his drawing pad and I really want to check his drawings but I'm hesitating a little. What if it's too personal for him and he won't let me see it? I decided to open my camera and take a picture of him while sketching with a guitar case beside him.

When I look at the camera screen and check the photo I took, I lightly smile. Rozend is the perfect picture I finally take.

Nang lumingon siya sa 'kin, ngumiti siya na ikinapula ng mukha ko. As if he's telling me that he knows what I just did. But I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not that sneaky. This is just a project. This is for a project.

Inirapan ko siya at nag-iwas ng tingin. I look around the place and take some photos of the sky, skylines and trees too. I sit on the stool in front of my easel and frame a piece of white fabric on the canvas. I just want to stare at it and imagine the things and images I want to paint. And I decided to paint this place and the sunset. Maybe I'll figure something out from the sun.

Dahil hindi pa naman lumulubog ang araw, kinuha ko na ang drawing pad ko. I turned to Rozend when I heard the strumming on his guitar.

Ngumiti siya sa 'kin nang may maliliwanag na mga mata. "Draw me."

Nakasandal siya sa puno habang tinutugtog ang gitara. He's wearing his ripped jeans, a white V-neck shirt, a black loose jacket and black sneakers. He's enjoying the cool shade coming from the big mango tree. Humarap ako sa kanya. I unconsciously opened the drawing pad and started to sketch the splendid view in front of me.

"Kailangan bang hindi ako gumalaw?" He looks at me straight in the eyes with a wide contagious smile. His hands are on the chords and string of his guitar.

"You can strum the guitar. You don't have to freeze. You can sing too. I'll just let my imagination work for me," I answered while checking and sketching the striking features and edges of his face.

"Alright," he smiled and continue to get lost on the song he's humming and the melody he's producing. And I don't know what has gotten into me but my hands are smoothly and lightly sketching him as if he's the most fascinating thing I have ever seen and I need to put this splendor on paper. I don't want to miss this moment.

I have to draw him. I have to finish him.

I draw for hours. I just stopped when I noticed that the sun will soon be setting. I take a photo of it and Rozend sits next to me, preparing his blank canvas and blending paints. We started to paint the surroundings and the sky that are now slowly changing colors – from green to beautiful tinge of red, orange, violet and pink. My hands skillfully move. Sketching and applying colors to the once lonely canvas. We can't finish it right now but we can create a draft of what we see now.

And I appreciate the beauty of the setting sun. Even if the sun is about to disappear, it glimmers exquisitely more than ever, producing different kind of colors and adding beauty to everything around it.

And I realize that the sun is a selfless being. He's always giving... giving light even if the things he loves can burn him down.

***

Author's Note:

Thanks to this wonderful book cover!

grumpeyy_