The Universe and Beyond

Universe 25: The Universe

ZEN

He looks at me. "Ready?" he asks with a cute smile while giving emphasis on his painting. He just ignores the teasing from our classmates. It seems it doesn't even affect him a bit. Or maybe, his only focus is just me. I really can't tell.

Marahan akong tumango. Inalis na niya ang dyaryong nakabalot sa painting niya.

What I've seen in his painting is a girl with long black hair bursting in starlight, glistening in the color of the night sky, I mean, the hair is covered with stars and meteors, while holding a spray paint in one hand that produced all the colors of the Aurora Borealis in the background. Her jumper clothes are covered with paint stains while wearing a bright, blinding smile. It gives off the feeling that the girl is spilling the entire universe around her. Or maybe she's making an entire universe for herself. And the girl in the painting is me.

I never thought someone can create a beautiful painting out of me. But Rozend made it possible. My mouth can only hang open at his painting. I am at a loss for words.

"So, what do you think?" nakangiting tanong ni Rozend nang mapansin ang pagkatulala ko.

"It's beautiful. I mean, it's amazing. You're really amazing," wala sa sariling sagot ko. Mas lalong lumawak ang ngiti niya at nagningning ang mga mata. "I didn't really get it when you say that you will paint the universe out of me. So I'll make some guesses here. Is it because I'm in love with the stars? The constellations? The Northern Lights? Is it because my room is so full of the galaxies? The Milky way? The universe? Is it because you think I'm obsessed with it?" I joked but I'm not really sure of his own answers.

Mahinang tumawa si Rozend sa 'kin. "You're really weird, Zen."

"So, you paint this because you think I'm weird?" nakapamaywang na tanong ko at pinanlakihan siya ng mga mata.

Nakangiting umiling siya. "Alright. I'll tell you. Listen very well."

My heart hammers against my chest. Can we skip this part? Because I'm really nervous and worried about what he has to say. But unfortunately, there's no fast-forward button in life so I have to face this.

"I've read a lot of books about the universe, about the heavenly bodies, about the stars and I thought these things are all out of reach. I thought they can only be seen in books or movies or discovery channels – things we can't see through the naked eye. But after meeting you, this belief system suddenly changed. You have a beautiful mind, words and thoughts. You are strong no matter how much the world wants to change you. And one of the beauty that lies in the universe is you and your artistic mind. But then I suddenly realize, no, you're not just a beauty that lies in this universe. I have to say the universe can be in someone else's palm. The universe can become human. And this universe is you, Zen. You always say I'm the sun. Then for me, you are the universe who supports the life of this sun – my lifeline."

I can feel the sincerity in his voice and the raw feelings he is pouring on each words. I don't know how I become the universe who supports his life, but if he says so then I think I just have to believe that I'm helping him in ways I'm not aware of. Or maybe I don't have to think too much about it because it can be a metaphor? Well, he's a deep person after all.

Right now, the only thing I can't deny is the wild beating of my heart.

"Shocks! Parang hindi na explanation 'to! Parang confession na 'to!" sigaw ng isang kaklase namin. Napuno ng asaran ang buong silid-aralan.

"Ang tamis! Kinakagat na kami ng langgam! Aray!"

"Team ZenZen na talaga! Kayo na talaga!" sigaw naman ni Chantalle na talagang supportive sa 'ming dalawa ni Rozend.

And I suddenly feel like I'm no longer just existing. I'm finally living. Because there's someone out here to validate my existence – to share these feelings with. Is this how it feels to be alive?

Or maybe you know you are alive when your heart is beating and feeling.

Because before, I really don't know how it feels to be alive anymore until I met him – until he brought the sun along with him.

I can only stare at him with a timid smile. I think I'll be blushing all the way home today and he is the reason why.

I accept his painting with all my heart and I know this will become one of my greatest treasures in this lifetime. And I don't know if he noticed, but this painting fits in my room so perfectly.

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