Hood Roots

Roaches chapter 20

When I was a kid roaches were such a big thing and I swear to this day I can't stand those ugly mother fuckers.
I've been blessed in my adult life not to have see many. As a kid I had to learn how to co exist. My mom was a clean freak. By age 9 me and my sister knew how to mop, iron, sew, cook, wash dishing and wax the floors. We would have washed clothes but my mom was scared we would break her washer
So us having roaches had nothing to do with how clean the house was.
It was just a simple infestation.
We had the common German roach, the "water bugs as well as nice and spiders. On days we couldn't go outside I spent my time with the roaches common enemy, the spiders.
I would feed the spiders by knocking the roaches into their webs and letting them clean house.
I soon learned to kill the roaches and save the spiders unless they left their corners.
My mom use to get into Tupperware to store our food so the roaches couldn't get in our food. It was hard back then when roaches ran ramped.
To give you and idea of how infested our house was. At night I would come downstairs for water and turn on the kitchen light only to see our brown carpet run away. Hundreds of roaches would run and hide.
I felt like Godzilla in a Japanese film.
I was the man of the house so I battled the roaches with my mom to try to keep them to a minimum.
There just too many to control. I was eating dinner one day and I got up to get a cup of water. I filled my cup with water from the sink.
Back in the day the Chicago water actually tasted good.
Anyway, I sat down at the table and looked in my cup to find a roach swimming and looked in my plate to find while I was getting water one has found my way to my food too.
I threw the part of the food I saw the roach on and ate the rest. I wasn't sure if that roach had covered my whole plate but food was not always of abundance and I was sure to not get any more food till the morning.
My mom had locks on the refrigerator to make sure the food lasted the month.
Locks really never stopped me though. It only slowed me down. I got in the refrigerator no matter what trick she found to lock it.
You can never keep a hungry person from eating. I was stick and bones till I hit age 25.
Anyway, everyone on the block had roaches and there wasn't really much we could do about.
Now the housing company came every once and awhile to exterminate but I just wasn't often enough.
We had smart roaches.
I've seen these mother fuckers do everything from duck if you threw something at them to the electric slide when you threw on an 8 track.
My roaches loved some Soul Train.
Soul Train was a popular show back in my day.
This was the only time me and the roaches were not at odds but when that show went off I was back to feeding them to the spiders and they were back to making my life a pain.
16 years on fucking roaches makes me a roach expert. Mofos be trying to school my on roaches and I just laugh.
I had two pet roaches at one time until I found out how fast they multiple.
In fact they help my with my multiplication. 1×1= 18 at least in the roach world. They also helped my sleep. I was counting roaches instead of sheep. They were also my alarm clock. You open your eyes only to find huge water bugs on you chest looking at you like, how you doing nigga boy?
I wasn't like other kids. Me and my sister washed our hands a lot.
Things did get better as we got older but we never totally got rid of those pesky roaches. I definitely grew up in the city of hard knocks.
I'm a better man for my experiences.
Knowledge is definitely power.
I heard this man tell this other man that he was smart than him because he had a doctorate. I hate when people say suck bullshit. They let degrees got to their fat heads. I have a degree now but I don't think I'm smarter than anyone. When you go to school and get a degree it is usually in one field of study.
You are usually only smarter than the average person in that one fucking field. I have a degree in roachology my doctorate in niggafu and my fucking bachelor's in hard knocks mother fuck so I guess I smarter than you right?
All that education and it took a man with an associate's degree to teach your cocky ass something. Women be the worst with that shit. I'm not dumb, I got 3 degrees. Educated in school but flunking in life. I hear you boo boo. You're so educated but got three no call no show baby daddies.
You can't even spot a good father for your child you dumb bitch so stop bragging about your education.
I just had to vent that lol.