love is messy

Chapter 49: Return Of The Mistress.

March 12th 2017
HANNAH: i wake up frowning as i feel around for my girl who has just disappeared. "Hey, did i wake you?" An angelic like voice asks fresh from the shower. "Not the worst thing to wake up to" i deadpan as she blushes and shakes her head. "Nice try, get up the sonogram is in like an hour" Aryn throws me my shirt. I practically squeal as i jump off the bed and slap on some jeans and a pretty blue blouse. "Looking beautiful as always" Aryn comes up from behind me wrapping her arms around me. Nothing feels better than her warm embrace right now. I peck her lips before breaking out of her hold, "i still have to do my hair, is Sam ready yet?" I ask her walking to the bathroom. Aryn sighs from my quick escape before nodding her head. "Sams already in the car" she deadpans plopping down on the bed. This girl is seriously still in her towel. I grab her hands and force her up making her let out some annoyed groans. "Get up" i giggle as she throws her head back dramatically. "Fine, go finish up i'll be ready in a second" she walks out of the room without another word. She has never been a morning person. I brush my fluffy brunette hair into a ponytail and quickly do my edges before brushing my teeth and leaving out the bathroom door. To my surprise Aryn is in fact completely ready now, damn that has to be some sort of record. "You just gonna stare or can we go see our baby?" She asks with a smirk. "Baby, please" Samia leans against the door frame holding her belly with a smile. I sigh before pulling her into a hug, "i'll never be able to repay you for this just so you know" i whisper in her ear before kissing her temple and walking out with Aryn behind us. We walk to the car and drive off with a worrysome Samia looking vaguely out the window. "What's on your mind Sammy?" Aryn asks reading my mind as always. "Just thinking about the babys future with you two, i cant think of better parents for this little one" she holds her belly again. "Are you sure you wanna give it up? It's your baby Sam." I blurt out surprising both Sam and Aryn. "Of course, im not ready to be a parent i have no clue what to do, all i would do would fuck it up and i cant have another fuck up in my family so this baby is yours. Not mine, its better with you two" she smiles as tears pool in her eyes. I reach my arm to the back seat to squeeze her shaky hand. "I'll make sure this baby has the best damn life possible." I deadpan still looking at the road. She nods with a smile and lets go of my hand.

"Alright, mrs Evern... let's get you on this table" Doctor Gillen exclaims to Sam. We had to change Sams name so her parents wouldnt be notified about all the sudden hospital visits so for now she is 'Pamela Grace Evern' AKA my abuela but nobody knows that considering she lived half way across the world when she died. Sam hops on the hospital bed with a deep breath before pulling up her shirt. She isn't that far along at all but you can totally see the adorable baby bump. "This'll be a little cold" Doctor Gillen warns before putting some gel on Sams stomach along with the ultrasound wand. She searches around flicking her eyes to and from the screen. She feels around to the right, down a little and finally reveals my baby along with a heart warming heart beat. "Oh my god, it's really in there" Aryn freaks out with wide eyes. Me, Sam and Doc Gillen all chuckle. "Well you are a bit farther along than i thought, about four and a half months actually" Doc Gillen looks dumbfounded squinting at the screen. "I can already see limbs, we should be able to tell the gender within a few weeks you know?" Doctor Gillen looks at the three of us who all have smiles plastered on our beaming faces. "Thank you" Aryn engulfs the poor doctor into a rib crushing hug before pulling back with teary eyes. She kisses me lightly and hugs Samia. I can't believe Sam is already almost five months along, this baby is gonna be here sooner than i thought! I only have four months to get everything i need... how the fuck am i gonna do that?! I dont even have a nursery yet! "W-we arent ready yet!" Now i'm freaking out. "Seriously, i mean- four months... four months to get all the baby stuff that we're gonna need. We don't even have a nursery! We dont even know what color to paint it we-" of course my counter is interuppted by a consuming kiss from my dear girlfriend. "We're ready. And even if we aren't ready ready... we'll be ready ready by the time this baby comes, i promise you." She puts her hands on my shoulder before kissing my forehead. "No parents are perfect." The doctor looks at me with a smile before nodding to the girls and walking out of the room. Sam sits there with a smile whiping the gel off her stomach and pulling her shirt down. "So who did you sleep with four and a half months ago?" I ask shyly as Samia looks down at her bump. "Mind your business Hannah." Aryn backhands my arm lightly. "Um, i think the father of my baby is most definitely my business." I deadpan as Sam just sits there looking at the ground. "Arena Hannah Cortez! Just drop it okay? The father isn't gonna matter anyway, he isnt gonna be in its life so just stop and get over yourself." Aryn shouts before storming out the room slamming the door behind her. "Aryn!" I call and to my surprise she opens the door. "Listen Hannah, as of right now the baby is Samias. It's growing inside of her, she is literally sharing everything she has with this baby which means she has every right to make this decision. If she doesn't think the dad is right for HER baby then it isnt right. And stop calling it your baby because it isnt your baby until you sign the fucking birth certificate. Get. over. yourself." She blurts out coldly before leaving the room again. Sam looks at me and shakes her head before grabbing my hand and putting it on her belly. "It's yours Han, dont listen to her she's just trying to deal with this in her own way." She whispers holding my hand against her belly. I gasp at the tiny little kick against my hand, I can't help but smile as a tear roles down my cheek before i drop my hand to my side. "No, she's right. You arent just some thing i'm using to grow this baby in, you're a human being and if a human being can give up so much for this baby to have a chance at a better life than them then that human being deserves the right to make whatever choice necessary for the little one inside them." I give up, i want this baby to just be mine but i know its not that easy. "The dad broke my heart Hannah, all he does is disappoint and break people. I don't want that for this baby. I'm giving it up because i want it to have a better life, I don't want the father to even have a chance to fuck this baby up." She sighs into her words and i sigh too pulling her into a hug. "You do whatever's necessary for your baby." I pull away from the hug and kiss her forehead before leaving the room to go apologize to my damsel in distress. I turn the corner seeing her pacing in an empty hall muttering words. I snap her out of her thoughts placing my hand on her shoulder, "you okay?" I ask quietly. She turns to me with a blank expression and a few tears trickling down her pale cheeks. She looks defeated as she sighs, the grogginess of her voice makes it seem like she has been crying for hours even though she was only out here for like ten minutes. "I just- i need a break from all this right now, it's so fucking tiring and i just... I can't. My dad's picking me up im gonna stay with him and Naomi for the night. Goodnight Han" she says breaking my heart as she tries to walk away not even giving a second glance at my empty face. "Aryn, dont just end this" I practically beg grabbing her hand. She sniffles with a smile before nodding her head and pulling me into an intense kiss. When she pulls back her hands are on both of my cheeks and her forehead is pressed against mine. "I'm not ending anything, it's not you i just need a break. I was never good at keeping secrets and this is one i can't let out. I'll see you tomorrow" she sniffles again grabbing my hand. As she walks away my grip only grows tighter but eventually our hands drift apart. What secrets? What is she hiding from me? I collapse onto the floor holding my legs close to my chest as i breath heavily... what fucking secret could possibly be this important to the point where she leaves me for it? Wait, leaves me? She isn't really leaving me... is she? Fuck why do i always fuck everything up?! "Hannah?" A familiar voice calls out from a distance. I wipe under my eyes and sniffle a bit before pulling my head up against everything in my body that was telling me to just curl up in a ball and sob my heart out. Looking up i see the worst person i could possibly see right now and the guilt all comes rushing back. "Hey Kahlani" i say quietly as she squats in front of me. I peel my eyes away from her as she sits on the ground next to me rubbing my back. "What happened?" Kahlani asks softly. "Just- just old memories with my mom and dad all coming back" i lie. No way am i telling KAHLANI i was having girl trouble just so she can say "i told you so". "Oh baby, it's okay." She grips my hand which i weakly allow her access to. Im not in the mood to fight or reject her, she knows im with Aryn anyway. "So what are you doing at 'saint James hospital' that's so far away from where you live" she counters distracting me from everything else. I smile and look down sheepishly, "actually- i live right across the corner now" her smile widens at my words. "Codependent Lemmy finally going off on her own." She exagerates making me laugh. I forgot how good it was to have her around to be honest. A bestfriend like her doesnt just go away. "Ahem, how's Ashley?" I ask with a smile making sure not to talk about Samia at all. "Ash is... honestly not good." Her face drops along with her hand. "What this time?" I ask pulling back cautiously. She sighs and rubs the back of her neck, "homeless again, god if i wasnt leaving with my abuela i would totally take her in. I just wish that she would learn that people are who god intends for them to be, it isnt a choice to be ridiculed 24/7." She seems exausted. The whole reason Kahlani hasn't come out is because of her super religious abuela who kicked Ashley out after her transition. "Its not easy in this world for us, poor Ashley though i can't imagine what she's going through. I have no one to kick me out because im on my own so that's good at least" i deadpan, we both just seem exhausted. "Its good to have you back mama" she smiles and kisses my cheek. The small act makes me feel weird inside, I can't describe it but it goes away as quick as it comes. And of course the guilt replaces it. I snap back into reality and all i can think about is Aryn, my poor girlfriend who i SHOULD be with right now. Kahlani breaks the silence by pulling away and clearing her throat. "So how's Aryn?" She asks obviously not really caring. "She's good." I lie, I honestly don't know how or where she is at the moment. "Im here for you Hannah. "Forever and always" just like when we were younger" forever and always... we used to joke about how one day we were gonna get matching tattooes that say "forever and always" since we have always expressed our love for each other with those three simple words. Old memories and feelings keep rushing back and i find my hand on Kahls. She smiles and looks at my lips, ugh why does she have to be so damn pretty? I lean in slowly and she leans in too, our lips are a mere centimetre away from meeting but of course... "alright im ready to go!" Saved by the loud pregnant bell! Thank god, that guilt would have eaten me alive what the fuck is wrong with me today?! "Heheh, hi i'm Samia. Hannahs-" "girlfriend!" I interrupt her. She gives me a shocked look before i send back a begging face asking her to just go along with it. "Isn't that right my love?" I ask as she comes to me holding her belly with a smirk. "Don't you mean fiance? Ugh, you're always forgetting the important things in our relationship. I cook and clean and carry your children and you just lay back doing nothing but judge what i do all the time. If we weren't having these triplets i would so leave you!" I look at her in shock along with Kahlani who turns her gaze to me. I play along understanding what she's doing. "Whatever, im just gonna go home and eat and get fat because the only person i care about to be honest is ME. I just hope John, Joe and Bob dont get your bitchiness!" I shout back walking away with Samia hiding a giggle runnig behind me. I hug her and thank her and she giggles a cocky "you're welcome" before flipping her hair and getting in the car. We both laugh before i deadpan, "yeah, thanks for making me out to be an asshole and deadbeat mom/fiance" she laughs and shakes her head. "Im sure Joe and Bob and John will be lucky to have you" she basically dies of laughter along with me. One thing Kahlani has always said was a turn off is a guy who can't pick a good name for her future kids or pets so of course i meant with the three most cringy names i could think of at the moment. "Were you really gonna kiss her? Was yours and Aryns fight that bad?" She deadpans raising her eyebrow. "No i just- fuck Sam I don't know... Kahlani is an old fling or whatever and i got caught up in it. It wont happen again I promise." I look back to see her half asleep in the back of the car. I chuckle before starting up the car to drive her home.