Portrait behind bars

Zweiundzwanzig

Chapter 22

My tears fell as I looked at him. Paunti-unti ring bumabagsak ang mga luha niya. I saw the pain in him.

"I tried Yahna... I tried myself not to love you pero hindi ko kayang pigilan yung puso ko na mahalin ka. Minsan na akong nagparaya at ngayon nakuha na kita siguro tama naman na ang nagparaya ako para sa kapatid ko"  malungkot niyang saad

Nabuhay ang pagtataka ko sa sinabi niya. May kapatid siya? I thought nag-iisang siyang anak.

"W-what?" nauutal  kong saad

"Chester is my half-brother. We have the same mother and I'm using my mom's maiden name. Mama Analiz is not my real mom, she's the one who adopted when I decided to live here and also my Dad's wife" seryoso niyang saad

The tension between us collapsed. He started to tell his background about me. I silently listening to him. We sat on the wooden chair in the garden of the restaurant.

"I let Chester be with Nickie. Alam ko sa una pa lang wala na akong pag-asa kay Nickie. I took advantage to her situation. I thought that time kaya ko nang magmahal ng hindi ikaw pero mali ako. We've been friends for a long time. I hid my feelings but secrets turns into regrets. I regret everyday seeing you happy with him while me, nothing to do that. You see me as a brother you never had." malungkot niyang saad

"Neil..."

"You're too precious, Yahna. Gustuhin ko mang mapasaakin hindi ko magawa dahil iba ang gusto mo" saad niya

"Hindi kami ni Alfonso" mahina kong saad

"I know" bulalas niya

"How do you know?"

"Nalaman niya ang plano ng magulang natin pero itinago niya dahil hindi siya sigurado. He also talked to me and said, for the last time  he wanted to be with you. Spent some time together kaya lumipad ako pa-Canada" sagot niya

That answered my question why Neil immediately flew back to Canada kahit kakabalik niya lang ng Pilipinas nun and answered why Alfonso took me on vacation. That was great thing but I know it has a lot of pain.

Masyado ba akong naging manhid para hindi malaman na may pagtingin siya sa akin? o masyado lang akong nabulag dahil iba ang gusto ko?

"I didn't know" mahina kong saad

"You don't have to know. I'm willing to sacrifice many times just to see you smile." nakangiti niyang saad pero alam kong may lungkot doon

"It's getting cold here, let's go" pag-iiba niya

"Are you really serious about the engagement?" kapagkuwan ay tanong ko

Tumigil siya sa paglalakad at nilingon ako. May pagtataka sa itsura niya pero agad din naman niyang nabawi.

"If it's not okay with you, I'll stop. I'll give you.... your freedom" and he smiled

I held his hand that's why he looked at me directly to my eyes. I gave him a smile.

"Why not give us a try?" naiilang kong saad

"Hindi mo kailangan gawin kung napipilitan ka. Just tell me when you're ready"

"Let's take the process together. I know it will be hard for us but I hope it will be worth it. Kung hindi mag-work edi okay atleast we tried. It takes time Neil. Hindi lahat ng bagay ay minamadali."

I saw him smiling, a real smile. He hugged me and patted my head. Hindi niya rin binatawan ang kamay ko habang naglalakad kami papasok ng restaurant.