❛Deny❜ ┇SB19's Sejun✔️

➷seventy

REIGN

Nakarinig ako ng pag-unlock at kalansing ng susi mula sa labas. At itong hotdog man na 'to mukhang balak pa atang pumasok dito.

Agad kong tinulak ang pinto para atleast hindi niya ito mabuksan kung sakaling matpaos siya sa pag-unlock ng pinto.

"Hoy Reign! Umalis ka sa pinto!" Rinig ko sigaw niya pero hindi ko siya sinunod. Hindi pa ako ready na makita siya. Ewan ko ba, I felt really awkward to him. Geez, Sejun's really unpredictable. May times na susungitan ka, may times din na lalandiin ka. Gosh. I can't handle his duality.

"Don't enter! Subukan mo lang, John Paulo!" I tried to sound really tough kahit sobrang lakas na ng kabog ng puso ko ngayon.

"Why? Scared of seeing me?" Alam kong nakangisi siya ngayon sa akin and that is unacceptable.

"Scared? Oo. Nakakatakot kase mukha mo"

"That's not what I meant" hindi naman ako tanga na he was preferring na I felt so awkward to him.

"Kung ano man 'yang nasa isip mo. Nagkakamali ka. Just please leave me alone. I need to rest" sabi ko but still I am just behind the door. I somehow heard steps. Siguro ay umalis na siya. Sana

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag at umatras mula sa pinto.

"Gosh, he was scarring the hell out of me" sabi ko at huminga ng malalim na tila nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan.

"Why? Why are you scared of me?"

Halos mapatili ako ng biglang bumukas ang pinto at nakita ko na naman siya. I felt my cheeks slowly burning up kaya umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. Ayokong mahalata niyang namumula ako. Geez, nakakahiya kaya yun.

"Why aren't you talking to me?" Rinig kong sabi niya sakin. I just can't speak when he was close to me. Damn it.

"Can you please leave? Sejun, I'm tired" tanging nasabi ko ngunit nanatili ang mga mata ko sa sahig.

"Isang buong araw mo kong hindi kinakausap. Do we have a problem?" Gusto ko siya sigawan ora mismo na siya ang problema ko.

Sa totoo lang, I'm starting to get hopes again and I really hate it. Ayokong mag-assume that he realized that he still love me then ang ending, he just wants us to be friends. Takte, ayoko ng ganun. Man, that really hurts.

"I just need to rest, Sejun" rest, rest from all the trouble you've caused me. I'm really tired of it.

"Give me the keys now" dagdag ko. Ayokong istorbohin niya ulit ako. I don't want to see his face for now. Baka mas lalo lang madagdagan lahat ng hopes ko. Mabuti na yung sigurado.

"No, Reign Gabrielle" matigas na sabi niya at saka itinaas ang susi ng kwarto niya.

"Please" sabi ko pero nagmamatigas ulit siya. Pinilit kong abutin iyon pero he was somehow taller than me and it sucks.

"Sejun naman" sabi ko naman pero he was still hard-headed as ever.

Patuloy niyang itinataas ang susi mula sa akin hanggang sa mag-switch na kami ng posisyon. Pinagtatawanan niya lang ako. Aba! Siraulo 'to porket matangkad siya?!

Hindi ako nakafocus sa nilalakaran ko dahil goal kong makuha ang susi mula sa kanya.

"Sige, abutin mo Reign" pang-aasar niya. It pissed me a little. I didn't realize that he was at the end of the bed kaya agad siyang natumba dahilan para matapilok ako sa paa niya. Geez

Napapikit na lamang ako at hinintay ang susunod na nangyare. My heart is beating like crazy. I can nearly smell his perfume. Sobrang manly. I just can't help myself.

"You're pretty" mas lalong nag-wala ang puso ko sa sinabi niya. How dare him?!

Hindi ako makapag-salita ni maibuka ang bibig ko. His words really has a big impact on me.

"Look Reign, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so numb. I'm sorry if I was coward to-" hindi ko siya pinatapos sa pagsasalita at agad na kinuha ang susi mula sa kanya.

"You don't have to" panimula ko at inayos ang damit ko ng makatayo ako.

"Hindi mo kailangang maawa sakin. It's my choice to hurt myself" sabi ko sa kanya. He was just staring at me na parang naaawa talaga siya sa sinapit ko.

Yes, I've cried for him pero I don't want his awe. Ayokong mahalin niya ako pabalik dahil lang naaawa siya sakin. I knew he saw me everytime na namamaga ang mata ko sa pag-iyak. That was unintentional. We're living in the same house so I can't avoid that.

I don't want his awe. I want him to love me because he loves me. Because that's what he felt towards me. I hate it, I hate it kapag tinitignan niya ako ng ganun.

"It's my fault. Tanggap ko na lahat. It's my fault that I have broke your trust. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry if I left you behind like that. I shouldn've let you know atleast. Wag mo na ipamukha sakin, Sejun. Wag mo na ulit akong pahirapan please?" Sabi ko at tumalikod sa kanya sabay lakad palabas ng kwarto.

Kaagad akong pumasok sa cr at tinignan ang sarili ko sa salamin.

Kailan ba aayos ang buhay ko? I felt dying sa sobrang sakit ng puso ko. Pero I know that I won't really die. Pfft, nonsense na mga sinasabi ko pero I saw a tear fell into my cheeks. Bakit ganun? Bakit ganito? Sobrang sakit.

I just want to let go of things and move forward pero nahihirapan ako. Feeling ko hindi ako pinakikisamahan ng tadhana. What does he really want from me? To see me suffer? I am indeed suffering.

Maybe some of you will say that "edi mag-move on ka" no. It was not that easy. Yun ang nakikita niyo, pero it's hard to let go of things. Lalo kapag naging part na ng buhay mo yun. It's not easy to let go especially of the people that you really love.

At yun ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I really love Sejun so much. I want him to be happy. I want to give him the peace that he wants. Kase ganun naman talaga pag nagmamahal ka, you really want the best for the people you love.

Masakit lang sa part ko na I'm trying to clear things up and move on pero kung kailan naman sinusubukan ko, doon na naman siya papasok. Gumulo na naman yung sistema.

I just want to be happy, yun lang. Kahit hindi niya na ako mahalin pabalik. Basta masaya siya, sasaya na rin ako.

TO BE CONTINUED..