Still Peter Parker (One Shots)

Parker Patreon

Peter Parker was quite smart, but the thing is that instead of becoming a physicist, an inventor, or even a photographer, he became unemployed. The reason for this unemployment was simply being SpiderMan was becoming a full-time job in itself, which resulted in him coming into work late in various states of undress.

So Peter did the only thing he could do to pay the bills. Start a Patreon for SpiderMan.

He recruited Ned to plan it all out and then tweet it from the Official SpiderMan Twitter account, and within days he had a couple of thousand followers. At first, people thought it was a sham, who wouldn't when the description was just "I'm Spiderman, help me pay my bills pls :)"? But then things started to get posted.

They were strange pictures that ranged anywhere from SpiderMan giving a thumbs up with an old lady, to a picture of his suited feet Balancing on the very top of the Empire State building. Needless to say, he gained quite a few devoted followers fast. People paid, and so they got to see SpiderMan holding up birthday wishes from strange places, and Peter got to pay his water bill in his shitty New York apartment. It was a win-win, really.

Peter's favourite requests were the strange one: such as holding a flaming bagel and giving the middle finger while standing on the side of the Trump Tower. His other favourite request was a little donation with the caption 'here's my grandma's wedding invitation if u wanna show up' which he, of course, had to go to. So at 1 pm on a Thursday he ended up in a worn tuxedo over his SpiderMan suit holding a wedding gift and the invitation. He was quite the hit with the old ladies who just adored his cheeky comments and charming quips. The teenager who invited him was very surprised, but after doing a flip and climbing the building behind him, the kid believed him and just beamed, "cool."

So the selfie for that one was him and the old lady in her old fashioned wedding gown, both waving at the camera.

Even though Patreon helped, paying rent was still tight, and people kept raving for him to stream, so he did just that. Ned made sure to encrypt his location while streaming, and so when he had the off time from crime-fighting, he'd find a strange place to stream on his phone. He streamed in places such as on top of an abandoned building, inside an empty dumpster, and even on top of a random bridge. He answered questions from the chat and talked with the locals as well as his fans internationally (Peter still finds it crazy he has fans at all) and people donated to make sure their questions were answered.

Today Peter was sitting on top of the Avengers tower because he was staying the night to help Mr Stark work on his suit. "Hey, guys, gals and pals, what's up today?"

The chat spammed various answers and random comments and Peter smiled under the suit. And soon enough the donations and questions poured in.

"Did u go to college? What's your day job?"

Peter stared at that one and then laughed, "Yeah I did! I actually got a degree in physics and engineering, but being SpiderMan takes up so much time I couldn't keep a job." He just laughed and waved his hand dismissively. "But I enjoy being SpiderMan too much to stop, so this is how I'm paying my bills."

"Wait you're not rich????"

Peter laughed even harder at that one, "No I'm not rich! I live in a small apartment with bills I barely manage to pay on time! But it's fine, I've got my friends and family, and you guys, so I'm good." Peter then raised his arms up, "I've got the best job ever anyways!"

Soon enough the stream had gone on for over an hour and Peter knew dinner was soon, "I've got to log off, uhh sub to my Patreon I guess if you want some strange selfies. Stay out of trouble, bye!"

As soon as the stream was over Tony Stark sauntered over as Peter took off the mask and stared at the sky. "I could pay your bills you know, kid."

Peter just stared up at Mr Stark and got to his feet, "I know, but I like making my money, I've got enough and it's pretty fun to take all those selfies." Peter gave a goofy smile and jumped from foot to foot as he slipped his phone into his suit pocket, "So... What's for dinner?"

-=-

I was going to do the 2nd part of the last thing but I just really loved this prompt from Tumblr thequantumqueer on that one strain of what Peter would do for a living.

I hope you all are staying healthy, I'm so excited for Hamilton on Disney+ next week ngl. 

Early update cause tomorrow I'm busy, so have a good time,
-SecretsInMyHead