Scared to Love Again (JiTzu x SaHyo)

Chapter 32

Monday Morning the Day After Momo Ended the Friendship Between Herself and Mina, and Sana

Sana's POV

Last night was really rough after what happened between me, and Momo and Mina. I drank myself to sleep after losing my best friends that have been there with me since basically forever. It was so painful as they were part of the pillars that kept me afloat. I just don't know what is happening anymore.

Waking up this morning was extremely difficult as the effects of a hangover hit me the moment I woke up. If it wasn't for the fact that my vacation just ended and I needed to go back to work, I would've just gone back to sleep to avoid the hangover and the emotional pain of losing basically my only friends.

I got up from the ground that I fell asleep on and got ready for work. Work was all that I had left, so I might as well try to keep it. I put on makeup to mask the dreadful look on my face and donned the uniform-like clothing that I always wore to work and took the utmost pride in.

I was greeted by my fellow psychologists when I entered the office. I put on a fake happy smile and greeted them back. Some of my co-workers started a conversation with me and asked me how my vacation was. I gave them fake answers to quickly end the conversation as I was slowly getting annoyed by their questioning.

I eventually reached my office and instantly crashed into my chair. I looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh. There was nothing more that I wanted than to just go home and sleep. I was definitely not going to survive the rest of the day if it was going to be like how my interactions this morning were.

I logged into my computer and checked my scheduled patients for the day. I read through their files to familiarize myself with their situation and to see what I have missed during my vacation. I wrote down some notes for each patient on my clipboard before taking a quick break to check my work email. There was a lot of mail that I had missed, and I had to make sure that I replied to everything.

I didn't notice that it was time for my first patient until I heard knocking on my door. I turned off my monitor before standing up and patting the dust off of my clothes. I grabbed my clipboard and walked over to my psychologist chair and sat down before calling for the patient to come in.

The patient opened the door and walked in. They bowed towards me before sitting down on the couch beside me. I told them to get into a comfortable position if they liked. The patient nodded their head before taking off their shoes and lying down on the couch with a pillow propping up their head.

"Alright, Miss Kim," I started, "I see here that you came to me due to your relationship?"

Kim nodded her head, "That is correct Dr. Minatozaki."

I let out a chuckle, "You can call me Sana, I am here to help you; so it is kind of weird if you call me so formally."

Kim nodded her head before explaining her situation to me. She has a girlfriend that she has been with for just over a year. Their relationship was amazing at the start. Her girlfriend was perfect in that she would always take care of Kim no matter how she was feeling. Kim's girlfriend's behaviour changed recently and she has become less caring and would often ignore Kim even though they lived together.

"It sounds like she might be losing her feelings for you," I commented as I wrote some notes down.

Kim sat up right, "That can't be true! She is just going through a rough patch!" she tried to explain her girlfriend's behaviour.

"I am saying this from my professional experience. What you are saying could be true, but you have to consider the possibility that your girlfriend has lost interest in you," I explained calmly.

Kim started explaining her interactions with her girlfriend. It did seem like a perfect relationship on the surface, but I could see the clear signs of toxicity in their relationship. Kim's girlfriend manipulated Kim from seeing a lot of her friends and controlled her every action. Kim was oblivious to all of it because she was blinded by love and the sweet actions of her girlfriend.

I was starting to lose my patience with Kim. Talking about her relationship just ticked me off for some reason that I cannot explain. It was so stupid that she was blind to what her girlfriend was doing to her.

"Kim..." I calmly started, "I think you need to understand that some people appear to be perfect, but they slowly manipulate you; but you don't realize it because they are always being sweet towards you. Based on what you've told me, this is one of those situations."

"No! No! No!" Kim denied while starting to shed tears, "That can't be true! She loves me! She wouldn't do something like that! Sh-sh-she w-w-would never do something like that!" she yelled as if trying to convince herself that I was lying to her.

For some reason, Kim's response pushed me past my limit of tolerance. I slammed my clipboard on the table beside me, surprising Kim. I stood up and berated Kim about how stupid and blind she was for believing her girlfriend when it was obvious what was going on. Kim started to cry and wore her shoes before running out of the room.

I let out a frustrated sigh before sitting back down in my chair. I started to rub my temples as a migraine suddenly hit me. I didn't know why I just flipped out. Maybe it was the fact that Kim was blind or maybe it was because our conversation reminded me about what happened to my relationship with Jihyo: I just didn't know the answer.

My office door was suddenly swung open and the head psychologist walked in. I instantly jumped up from my chair and bowed to him out of respect. He had an angry expression on his face and I already knew what was about to happen.

"Dr. Minatozaki, you better have a good reason for what happened with your patient just now," the head psychologist said.

"I-I-I... I am sorry sir; I don't know what happened. I have just been having a rough time lately in my life," I tried explaining my situation.

The head psychologist rubbed his temples while letting out a frustrated sigh, "Sana, I am sorry to have to do this to you. You have been a great asset to our office and I personally don't want to do this; but you took a professional oath when you joined our office to always remain calm and impartial when dealing with patients. You are fired."

Monday Evening

I was sitting down on the ground beside my couch in my apartment surrounded by multiple empty bottles of alcohol. I had been bawling my eyes out for the past hour. Every bottle I emptied was just replaced by another bottle.

"Why is this happening to me?!" I sobbed.

My job as a psychologist at the office was one of the few things I held dear to my heart. I worked so hard through university, sacrificing my health and wellbeing, just so that I could achieve my dream. I graduated and landed a position at this renowned office. I was so happy as I had finally achieved my dream and could help people like I had been dreaming of since I was young. It was now taken away from me because of my mistake. Another part of me vanished just like that as if it were never there in the first place. An empty void took its place: a dreadful feeling.

I pulled out my phone and went through my contacts. I opened my contact for Momo and was about to press the call button when I remembered that she broke our friendship after what happened between us. I put my phone away and lied down on the ground before balling up into a ball.

Momo and Mina have always been there for me ever since we became friends. They supported me whenever I thought I couldn't do something. They were always there for me when I needed their comfort even when it was inconvenient for them. Aside from Jihyo, I thought they would always be there for me. Now, all of that was gone and I was alone all because of my stupid mistakes.

"I have lost everything," I uttered before crying myself to sleep.

---TWICE---

A/N: Hello everyone! I am back with another update and it has only been one day! I honestly kind of feel bad for Sana here. She lost everything that she held dear even though it was due to her own actions. I do hope that she doesn't do anything crazy, but I am not in control of her actions... Oh wait, yes I am :3. Anyways, until next time, thank you for the support!

P.S. If I do not respond to your comments like I usually do, blame Wattpad. I haven't been getting notifications for comments recently, and I am just going to blame Wattpad for that.