clumsy | l.h.

twenty-one

"you suck the life out of the room, i'm hard to love but so are you" - Hard to Love / Too Close to Touch

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-Violet-

It didn't take long for what felt like Luke and I's perfect little world to crumble underneath our feet.

Just when we thought we were untouchable, the unthinkable happened. Sydney and Ashton's mom Laura died, unexpectedly to everyone except for her and her husband. Sydney and Ashton were devastated, and frankly so was I.

I was standing silently in the midst of a crowd of mourners, staring at a collage of photos of Laura over the years. I couldn't even fathom that she was gone, and it only hurt more to think that I hadn't seen her in a long time.

When Sydney and I were younger, in high school, she took me in whenever I needed it. She knew that my mom had her issues, and she could tell that they were taking a toll on me. I spent more time at her house than I did at my own, and she was essentially a second mother to me. When my mom bailed, she was there, whether it was art showcases or prom pictures, whatever I needed.

I was broken out of my own trance when I felt Luke's hand appear in mine. He was looking down at me with a sad smile, "I'm glad I could come with you today."

I nodded, but couldn't even force myself to smile back. I was also appreciative of him being there, even though he wasn't close to anyone in the room. I was sure he was feeling a little uncomfortable, but he was putting up a good facade for me. Trying to be my rock, I guess.

I heard sniffling from one corner of the room, and turned my head to see Sydney crying into Ashton's shoulder. I felt another piece of my heart breaking. I only wished that they would have had some time to prepare for her death. As much as I understood what their parents were trying to protect them from, it didn't seem fair.

Laura had cancer, and the doctors apparently weren't very optimistic about her prognosis. The whole reason their parents had left the restaurant to go see the world was because they knew she didn't have much time left. She decided it was in her own best interest to forego treatment and just live out the rest of her time the best that she could. Unfortunately for Sydney and Ashton, this left them completely unprepared when they got a call from their father that she had passed. In some foreign European country, no less.

I headed across the room, putting a hand on Sydney's shoulder. She turned to meet my eyes and pulled away from Ashton, wrapping me in a hug instead. I could feel the wetness of her tears on my shoulder, but I didn't mind. This was what she needed.

When I pulled away, I saw another familiar figure walk through the door. Michael looked around awkwardly, clearly trying to spot Sydney in the crowd. As uncomfortable as Luke felt today, I'm sure he doubled it. What do you say to someone you've gone on a handful of dates with when their mother suddenly dies? I'm sure that thought was constantly on his mind.

Luke greeted him with a pat on the back, and I nodded my head in their direction, "Looks like someone came for you Syd."

She gave me a sad smile, "That was nice of him, but I told him it wasn't necessary. Funerals aren't exactly the best venue for a fourth date."

I tried to let out a laugh, but it sounded pathetically strained. There was no use in trying to pretend things were normal or okay right now. Sydney slipped away to go see Michael, and I turned my attention to Ashton, "Hey, Ash. I would ask how you're doing but I think that's a stupid question."

He nodded slowly, and we stood in an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Finally, he pulled me into a hug, wetting the opposite shoulder that Sydney hadn't cried on. I sighed, feeling like I was going to crack at any minute from all the grief I was trying to absorb.