35 (Cy)

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"Orb! May chika ulit ako!"


Inalog-alog ako ni Christian nang makaupo na siya sa katabing upuan ko. Nasa loob kami ng classroom, nag-aantay ng professor.


"Ano na naman? 'Yung chix mo ulit?" Umismid ako. Alam ko na mga galawan nito! Ipapakita niya sa'kin 'yung picture ng best friend niya sabay sabing..


"Ang ganda niya 'di ba?! Pag nagkita kayo nito in the future, kailangan ikaw maging groom niya ha!" Sinuntok niya pa ako sa balikat pagkatapos ipakita sa'kin 'yung kakapost pa lang na picture ng Stephanie sa IG.


"Ikaw kaya magpakasal diyan. Di ko naman 'yan kilala." Tumawa ako, pinagkrus ang mga braso. "Hindi ako interesado riyan. May crush ako."


"May jowa na 'yun!" Pakikipagtalo niya ulit. Umismid na rin siya gaya ko. "Si Steph, mabait, matalino, maganda, palabiro, softy, malambing. Ideal si Steph, orb!"


"Si Ayen din naman ganyan, a. Loyal ako sa kaniya." Hindi ko na siya pinansin pagkatapos noon dahil dumating na rin naman ang prof namin sa engineering.


Hindi ko talaga makuha kung bakit gustong-gusto niya akong ibugay doon sa kaibigan niya kung may gusto rin naman siya? May mga nirarason pa siyang ayaw niya raw na hindi sila magtagal at mawala siya pag nagkataon kaya ako nalang dahil pinagkakatiwalaan niya ako.


Christian never once forget about Stephanie. Kahit naging engineer na kami, pinamumukha niya pa rin sa aking kaya ako na b-broken dahil doon ako nakatingin kay Ayen na wala naman na rito sa Davao.


"Si Issa nga!" Pagpupumilit niya. "Sige na! Kawalan mo siya, sige ka!"


"Nagbanta ka pa talaga?" Tinawanan ko ulit siya.


"Ah, basta! Kailangan nandoon ka mamaya kapag dumating na siya, ha? Pinilit ko pa 'yun dahil minsan lang 'yong promotion party ko. Kailangan magkakilala na kayo!" 


Magrereklamo pa sana ako pero hindi ko na nagawa dahil bumalik na siya sa pag t-trabaho. Wala nalang akong nagawa kundi ang pumunta sa party niya.


Unfortunately, something tragic happened. They got into an accident and I witnessed all of it. I know how hard it is for Steph to accept that she lost the most important person in her life. I also remembered about Christian's simple talk to me.


That's where it all started. I asked Ynna about her--everything. So when she quit her job, I also quit mine to make myself focus on her. My goal was to make her move on--but I ended up falling for her.


Christian's right. Steph's just too different that even if you had no intentions on falling, you'll never notice that you're starting to--and when you do, you can no longer fight against it.


I did everything to show my love for her. Kahit alam kong mapipikon siya sa gagawin ko ay ginagago ko pa rin siya. But when it comes to her nightmares and scenes, sinisiguro kong hindi ako mawawala para matulungan ko kaagad siya.


I haven't even been sleeping since the night she called me because of her nightmare. Inaalala ko na baka makatulog ako at hindi magising sa mga tawag niya. Na paano kapag wala ako kapag kailangan niya ako?


Wala akong hinihinging kapalit. Kahit si Christian pa rin ang nakikita niya sa'kin. Kahit na kaibigan lang ang tingin niya sa akin. Kahit hindi niya makuhang mahal ko siya. Okay lang sa'kin lahat ng 'yun. Kahit na gayahin ko pa si Christian kung gusto niya.


Gusto ko lang na makaalis na siya sa nakaraan at makapagsimula ng bagong buhay. Gusto ko siyang ibalik sa pangarap niya dahil alam kong 'yun din ang gusto ng taong mahal niya para sa kaniya.


Luckily, she felt the same for me too. All of those efforts and sacrifices were paid off very well. I didn't even regret quitting my job just to take care of her. 


Bumalik lang naman ako sa trabaho dahil sa mga aral na binigay niya sa akin noong iwan niya ako dahil binitiwan ko ang pangarap ko para sa kaniya.


Steph doesn't know how to take advantage of people's kindness. Kahit na alam kong nangangati na siyang manakit ay hindi niya ginagawa. Kahit alam kong selos na selos na siya ay hindi siya nagsasalita. Kaya niyang itago ang nararamdaman niya na hindi mo makikita kapag hindi mo pa nakikilala ang pagkatao niya.


I'm blessed enough that He listened to my prayers every single day and night. Ni hindi ako napagod mag serve sa kaniya kahit na nasasaktan na ako at siguro, isa rin sa mga blessing Niya sa akin ay dahil sa nagawa kong ibalik ang isa sa mga anak Niya sa daan patungo sa Kaniya.


Steph lost her way on the process of moving on. She forgot that we still have our Father who's willing to listen in our every day chitchats.


And I totally understand her for being like that. It's just too easy for us to praise our Father when we have everything but when we're already in our greatest pain, we totally forgot his existence, and will end up questioning Him about our sufferings.


Human makes mistakes. We make wrong decisions, sins,--everything that can either be disgraceful or will cause us pain. But that's just how the world works. And that's just one of the reasons why we met people who'll either stay or leave us after some time.


Some are just instruments for us to be a better version of ourselves. Some were just meant for us to see our worth. Some were just sent for us be to be on the right path again and some were just really meant for us.


And what's meant for us will always come back. No matter how long it takes or even when you started thinking that it's already impossible for that person to come back.


Steph taught me a lot of lessons even if she's not aware of it. She taught me the importance of dreams, sacrifices, --she taught me how to love myself when others can't seem to love me.


In the end, I end up wanting to marry the woman I prayed for every now and then. We announced our wedding preparations to our friends and family and we're just too blessed to have them as our supporters.


Now, we'll be going to get married at the IFI church on where we used to attend mass and gatherings. We already prepared everything at the church and even for the reception.


I only prayed to have my happy pill, but He gave me more than that. I am more than grateful that people could ever imagine.


Mark your date now, you're going to be invited on our wedding.

-Cyril Jan Caneda, Civil Engineer.

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