What We Know | John Laurens x Reader

18. FunkyHatDad

Hey guys! Here comes a time skip mah dudes! AnYwAyS, let's get this plot moving! Enjoy!
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Y/N's POV (1 teensy weensy year later)

"Here we go again," I muttered, throwing my hand over the side of my cot and reaching blindly for my spare parchment with my eyes squeezed shut.

"You know," a voice chuckled softly, stepping inside the tent. "You might need to open your eyes to see." John leaned down and handed me the paper thingy with a smirk.

"Oh hush." I peeled open my eyes and grabbed my ink well out from under my cot, dipping my funny looking feather in it.

John and I had a routine of sorts. Every morning he would wake me up before sunrise and we would head to his tent and hang out with the rest of the crew. Then we would train.

"Who are you writing to?" He asked, sitting down next to me.

"Beyoncé," I said sarcastically.

"Who?"

"Nevermind. I'm writing to Izze."

"Oh." He pulled Freddy out from his uniform's pocket and set him on my lap as I wrote.

Dear Isabelle Owens,

FunkyHatDudes been extra critical lately. He yells even more than usual for the tiniest things. Kinda reminds me of Mom.

Alex still hates me btw. He's jEaLoUs cause I'm Freddy's momma and not him. Sucks to suck.

I think I'm getting worse in training. I almost shot Jeremy in the butt yesterday when we were practicing my aim. Oops.

John and Fred are doing great! You might even be able to meet them soon! Maybe. Johns trying to convince Herc to make your nephew a sweater... it's not working so far but we have high hopes.

Anyways, I miss you. A lot. I don't know how much longer the war will last but things aren't looking too great so far. Maybe we'll get to visit our families soon if all goes well.

Stay safe! I love you! -Y/N

"Here you go!" I chirped, passing the letter to John who folded it up and sealed it. A couple of seconds later, we walked outside and dropped the letter with the mailboy.

Oddly enough, the majority of the soldiers were awake and stumbling groggily around the camp. They all looked very very annoyed.

John shot me a questioning look. "Why on Earth is everybody—"

"Here comes the general!" Someone shouted happily. We turned to see an overexcited Aaron Burr dashing from tent to tent and shaking awake the poor sleeping people inside.

"I do believe that's why," I laughed, pointing at him.

"Don't we see the general every day?" John muttered.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"George Motherfreaking Washington is on his way!" Burr shouted.

Holy crap! I thought, I'm about to meet Washingdad! [insert excited fangirl noises here]

"Cmon John!" I beamed, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the center of the camp where FunkyHatDude stood moodily, waiting for his troops. He glared at us as we got near.

Pretty soon, all of the soldiers stood in a crowd watching with anticipation as a man on a horse approached in the distance. He wore a blue uniform and the iconic FunkyHat, marking him as a general.

"I'm General Washington," he announced, getting off of his horse and examining the troops surrounding him. "I hope y'all aren't having a difficult time with the war so far, because the battles barely begun."

I and the rest of the soldiers looked around nervously, not getting the inspirational speech we— no, they expected. I, unlike them, had seen Hamilton. (Ze musical, not the jealous butthole)

"It'll only get worse from here and we don't have the advantage. We're outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered, and out planned," Washingdad said. I had to fight against the urge to start shouting song lyrics in his face.

"In order to win this, we're really going to need to step it up. I'm doing everything I can, but I'm going to need some help."

I felt Freddy wiggle in my pocket, and I shifted slightly, trying not to laugh. John shot me an amused look, eying the small turtle head peeping out from my thigh.

"General Schuyler has been watching you men and assessing your skills. Based on what he's told me, I'll be selecting one of you to stand by my side and help me to lead and strategize. Somebody to be my right hand man."

Yayyyy. FunkyHatDude probably told him that all I'm good for is shooting my comrades in the butt.

"For now," Washington sighed, "You may all go back to training. Dismissed." The troops all scattered, the majority of them heading back to their tents, probably wanting to go back to sleep.

"Mon ami!" The Baguette yelled, standing nearby with the rest of the crew. "We're gonna go train. Do you wanna join us?"

Probably not a good idea, I thought. I don't think any of them would appreciate a bullet to the butt. Alex kinda deserves one though.

"It's okay Laff!" I told him, "I think that John and I might just head down to the lake."

John nodded. "Maybe run a couple of miles," he added.

"Eww," I muttered, "Exercise."

"Orrr not," he chuckled, waving goodbye to Lafayette and leading us both towards the lake.

"So Y/N," John smiled as soon as we were far enough away from the camp. "Who do you think Washington will choose?"

"I dunno," I lied, picking up Freddy and holding him in the palm of my hand."Probably a butthole like Lee or Conway. They seem to be his favorites."

He sighed and took Fred from me, looking down fondly at the small turtle.

That was when we heard the sound of running footsteps approaching from behind us. John and I turned around quickly, prepared to fight but luckily it was just Jeremy.

He held up his hands in surrender and attempted to catch his breath. "E-Elijah," he panted, "General Washington wants to see you."

I felt my blood run cold and John and I shared a fearful look. Had I been caught?

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7/11/2020

Sorry that I took so long to update. My parents are divorcing so I've been kinda busy. Plus I'm super lazy and I like Netflix soooo... yeah.

QOTD: What's the mailboy's name? I feel like he deserves one.

Thanks for reading! -SunkissedChild5