My Forever Boy

Chapter Six

When Jason and I arrive at school, we sit in the car for a few minutes in silence. I intentionally keep my attention on the students in the parking lot, talking and playing around. Jason clears his throat, and I turn to look at him.

"Let's talk." Jason's says, quietly.

"Okay." I nervously begin to play with the strap on my purse.

"Alright, Mel, I love Leslie, but I think that's because we've been together on and off for a year."

Not this shit again. I wonder exactly when did I give him the impression that I gave a crap about his relationship with Leslie. I nod, suppressing the urge to tell him exactly what my thoughts of her are.

"You're always saying that I could do better. Who do you think is better?"

I can't speak. I open my mouth just to close it again, waiting for something . . . anything to pop in my head. I just look at him. With his eyes focusing on mine, it actually feels like he's asking me if I think he is the one for me.

I open my mouth again to share my feelings with him. Just by the look in his eyes, he makes me want to open up and let him know how I feel.

"I guess I'm just scared of rejection. I mean, what do you do if you're really feeling someone, and you just don't know if she is feeling you the same way?" Jason questions as his eyes search mine in wonder.

I roll my eyes, annoyed with Jason. Great, now I had to worry about another girl being in our picture. If it isn't Leslie, it is always going to be someone else. And to think I was actually about to tell the kid I love him.

"Jason, if you can't tell that she's feeling you, then maybe she's not." There, that would show whoever he's talking about.

He nods and shrugs. "Especially if we're friends, right? I mean, friends should be able to read each other really well." He brings his attention to me as though, locking eyes with me. "The only way I can see a friend, ignoring all the hints that someone is  crazy crazy about her, is if she isn't crazy about him back."

What the hell did I just do and say to this man?

"Um . . ." I start off, but quickly interrupted by Jason.

"There's Terrance and Kerri. Let's catch up with them."

Before I can say anything, he is already grabbing my backpack and getting out the car. No let's talk! My mind screams out to him. We have unfinished business! I watch him as walks slowly to the passenger side of the door and opens it up for me.

I get out the car, angrily. I wish I can just rewind my life just once and start the week with telling Jason how I felt. It just never seems like the perfect time. About ten minutes ago it would have been the perfect timing. I hadn't thought for a second he could possibly be referring to me, when he opened up. That's exactly what I get for jumping to conclusions.

*****

After school, I sit in the school's library with Kerri, doing some research for a paper. She is listening to her music with her ear buds in her ears. I look up just as Jason walks in with Leslie. He is holding her bag, and his hand is in her back pocket. Feeling like I'm going to throw up I. My mouth, I swallow the hate forming in my heart. I hate how cute they look as a couple.

As if he feels me staring at them, Jason spots me and waves. Sensing that she has lost Jason's attention, Leslie follows his gaze to me. She noticeably rolls her eyes and scolds him. She walks off him like a spoiled brat.

"Bitch." I mutter a bit bitterly. It's crazy how the sight of a single person can agitate you without trying.

I grab my books up and throw everything in my bag, deciding that I'm not going sit in here and watch Leslie and Jason. My phone starts to vibrate across the table. I pick up the phone, altering seeing it's a text from Jason.