The Forces Against Our Love. |Jim X Reader|

I Cant Go Home Yet..

Your POV

This house is the biggest two story I've ever seen. Its so tall and wide and it looks normal.. theres a porch swing and thick curtains covering the windows.
"This is where we'll live from now on.. I already put furniture in it too" Jim smiled as we took a step but suddenly I stopped. It felt like i hit a wall. "Oh! Sorry, I forgot" Jim sighed and let my hand go. "We need the wizard to clean you or something" he rolled his eyes.
"What about you?.." i asked in confusion as i touched the imaginary wall.
"Its only sensitive to Aku's magic.. We have to take out your amulet first.." he said as he looked back to the house. My eyes widened in fear once he said that. Does he want me to die? "Its not going to hurt, its just magic, see?" He said as he suddenly removed his amulet and his armor disappeared. Suddenly he was in a normal t-shirt and sweatpants.. my mouth dropped in awe as i saw him. I cant believe this..
"Y/n!" Toby suddenly shouted as the door opened.
"Im not ready for this.." i muttered while Jim laughed at my words.
"Y/n! Why have you been hiding in arcadia and still never came back?!" Claire screamed next.
"Y/n.." mom muttered from behind me. Oh no.. shes gonna kill me.. "Im so glad you're back!.." she shouted before hugging me in tears.
"Im sorry I left.." i muttered and gently hugged her back.
"Look at you.. You even look and sound grown up.." she said as she looked me up and down.
"Thats what 12 years does to you i guess.." i smiled as she touched my cheek.
"I knew you'd come back someday.." she said as she brushed through my long hair.
"Y/n, its been a while" Douxie said as i turned back to that invisible wall.
"Merlin couldnt even take this off, how did you figure it out?.." i asked as he looked at my amulet.
"Its a simple trick actually. Old school wizards wouldn't get it" he chuckled before turing to claire. "Can you hold up the blanket now, dear?" He asked.
"Its time to change into something more comfortable now" Claire said with a smile as she walked to me. Both her and mom held this blanket all the way around me.
"Uh, this blanket-" i began as i looked down at it. Am I going to be nude?..
"We wont make the same mistake the second time is all" douxie said with a wide smile while Jim looked uncomfortable.
"Pfft-.. Ahaha!" I laughed out for the first time for 12 years. That was the funniest thing I had heard in a very long time. And its a true story! I cant believe this!
"Stop laughing, it wasnt funny.." Mom muttered which made it even harder not to laugh. Mom saw too! I think im going to pass out!
"It was pretty funny but hold still for a second" douxie chuckled as i nodded and straighten myself back up. "I need your hand, please" he asked before I carefully gave it to him. He guided my hand around my amulet then after a second.. It popped out. My armor disappeared leaving me nude but.. My armor is gone.
"Oh my god.." i whispered as i looked down at my arms. Theyre spotted black and grey too but.. No armor..
"Lets go get you some clothes now" claire said as she helped wrap the blanket to the front so I could hold it. This is quite the big blanket..
"I dont have my armor.." i muttered as we walked past the barrier and into the house. Its.. its normal. I fit perfectly, everyone else looks so small. "This house.." i awed as i looked around.
"I decorated it, youre welcome" mom said as she and claire helped me up these amazing stairs.
"Its beautiful.." i said as i looked all around me.
"Come on, you've got guys staring at you.." claire whispered and was hinting at jim.
"O-Oh!" I whispered back and felt a bit embarrassed.
"Can you stop blushing?.." Mom sighed as they opened the door to this huge room. The bed is so big and theres a closet and dresser..
"I-Im blushing?" I asked and touched my cheek. I dont feel- oh.. I forgot I dont feel anything.
"She can't feel herself doing it.." Claire giggled as mom pulled open some drawers.
"This is the biggest bra I've ever owned and we tried to find underwear too but I dont think youll fit.." Mom said as she placed an entire outfit in front of me.
"Wait.." i muttered as i pulled the blanket out a little and looked down at my body.. "i still have human parts?!" I whispered in total surprise.
"Yes, we found that out with Jim the hard way.. gross.." claire shivered in disgust while i couldnt help but laugh.
"Well, im glad im not just a big dumb rock" i giggled as i picked up the bra and held it to my chest.. Its too small.. "Mom, how big is this one?.." i asked and put it back down.
"36 DD.." she muttered in shock.
"Do I look like i shop at baby gap?" I asked with a raised eyebrow while claire giggled.
"Well who the hell sells the entire alphabet?" Mom retorted with a sigh.
"I dont know how to make bras.." i sighed as i put on the shirt I was given.
"This underwear definitely wont fit then" claire sighed.
"I could wear that on my calves maybe" i laughed awkward. I really grew a lot..
"Guess you're going commando for a while" mom laughed and gave me a pair of really big sweat pants that were still a little tight but worked.
"Wow.." i muttered as i found a body length mirror, "i look.. I almost seem normal.." i muttered as i looked at myself.
"Besides the horns, skin, and long hair." Claire giggled and sat down on the bed.
"My hair?.. Should I cut it then?.." i asked and looked to them worriedly.
"It might be a little prettier" mom shrugged smiling.
"Okay, but whose going to cut it?.." i asked the two.
"Ill do it, ive been cutting my own hair for years" claire grinned happily and went and picked up a pair of scissors. "Sit tight" she told me before getting to work. I didnt expect for her to cut off all of it to my shoulders but whatever as long as it looks good.
"You look younger actually.." mom said as she watched it being cut.
"Younger? I'm only 28 though" i said in confusion.
"Well you look like a teenager again now" she said just as claire finished.
"Go look in the mirror" she told me and pulled me up. Once I saw myself, I really did see a young, scared me. I was terrifed when this happened but.. Now I have a home and my family and friends and ill always be with Jim. I wont have to be alone anymore.
"I really like it.." i said with a soft smile as i looked myself up and down. I look like a woman, a troll, but a woman.
"What do you think Jim will say?.." Claire asked mom with a quiet giggle as the two walked me out then back down the stairs.
"Nothing I bet. He'llbe too shocked" she giggled in return.
"Im hungry.." i muttered but its not true. I just really want to eat something good.
"Please tell me you ate while you were hiding.." Claire begged as we walked down the last stair.
"Like what? I'd rather starve than eat a sock" i told her truthfully.
"Y/n.." Barbra gasped at the door. I hope she doesn't get mad.. "Your armor too.. this is amazing" she told me as she put her hands on my arms.
"Its been a while.." i smiled.. but.. she snapped.
"12 years! And its all Jim's fault for being stupid and not leaving you here when you were kids!" She suddenly snapped and went crazy. "And you left for another 4 years doing what? Talking to kids?!" I am petrified..
"Mom, please.." Jim sighed trying to help me out.
"And I'm mad you talked to claire and toby before me!" Mom suddenly snapped too and I was in a constant circle of yelling. This is not what im used to..
"Stop yelling.." i said and was zoned out. Its been so quiet all these years, I cant take the loud voices..
"Stop yelling?!" Mom screamed again but her new husband stepped in. I didnt know he was here too. Now Strickler, those kids and arrrgh too..
"Were you rebuilding Troll Market these past 3 years?.." toby asked through the silence.
"I did.. the heartstone is growing bigger everyday.." i said as i crossed my arms over my chest. I dont feel safe without my armor anymore..
"What?.." Claire asked and looked around.
"W-We have pictures if you want.." Connor spoke up.
"You let 4 kids in but not us?" Claire suddenly glared with her arms crossed.
"To be fair, we snuck in. We only talked face to face once.." Peter said to everyone.
"Im sorry i acted like that in front of you 4.." i apologized and sighed.
"I would be mad too.." Belle said and looked nervous.
"Can I see those pictures?.." Toby asked and looked at the kids.
"Y-Yeah, sure" connor answered and pulled out his phone. It took a second but soon everyone saw what i had built.
"Did you draw all that?.." Strickler asked and was talking about the story on the wall.
"I had four years of time to waste" i shrugged.
"Incredible work, Y/n" Douxie complimented after eveyone broke apart.
"Yeah, really. It looks like how i remember it" barbra said smiling.
"You dont remember any of that" jim chuckled.
"Claire, I thought you had a baby.. Where is it?" I asked with a bit of worry.
"Well he's four now and Enrique has grown into an excellent babysitter" she smiled and looked proud.
"Oh, I see.." i nodded and hugged myself a little tighter.
"Uh, miss Moon Hunter, was this the troll you told us about?.." Connor asked and looked at arrrgh who was sitting by toby.
"Yeah, thats arrrgh" i said with a little smile as the four looked to them.
"Then who's the wizards?.." Roslin asked in confusion.
"How much did you tell them?" Douxie asked with a short laugh.
"Thats him.." i told the kids and nodded to him.
"What did you look like when you were human?" Belle asked next.
"Why don't we all sit down and talk. Ill make some troll friendly drinks" claire said and motioned towards the couches.
"Look, theyre big enough for us now and they won't break so easy" Jim told me as he lightly pushed me to one of the couches.
"Y-Yeah, they are.." i stuttered and still felt weird about all this. It kind of scares me being with him again. I dont want something to happen again, I want to live a normal life but Aku is going to come back someday.. I just hope she doesn't destroy this home.
"Youre so old now" toby told me but he didnt look any younger than I did.
"I felt old after they called me miss" i said with a soft smile as i looked to the kids, "i still feel 16.." i said as i kept a tight hug around myself and stayed sitting next to Jim.
"You dont have to call her Moon Hunter either but it is funny that your last name is Moon" barbra told the kids with a smile.
"Really? Guys!.." connor shouted to his friends.
"We did some research over this year and narrowed it down to one name. A girl named Y/n Moon and a guy named Jim Lake disappeared during the school year 12 years ago.." Peter explained to us.
"Yeah, thats us" Jim chuckled nervously.
"You two look completely different from the pictures but I can kind of see it now.." Roslin said. Those 4 were sitting on the other couch while everyone else was standing around or sitting in the 2 one seaters.
"Yeah, I guess we do.." i muttered and couldnt relax at all. I feel like the worlds going to end without my armor on. I havent even let go of my amulet yet..
"Alright, I have troll and human drinks" claire said as she and douxie walked over with tons of cute glass tea cups.
"So you really can't eat the things we can?" Belle asked as she took her cup from douxie.
"No, it tastes horrible and our stomachs can't digest it unless we do a little bit of magic" Jim said as he waved his hand over his cup like i once saw douxie do to mine so long ago. Then he actually drank it!
"How did you do that?.." i asked in shock as i leaned closer to him.
"I dont really know either but it works" he chuckled, "let me see your hand" he said. I hesitantly set my amulet in my lap then let him have my hand. Everyone else was watching too. "Just believe it works and it will. I know it sound ridiculous but it actually works" he siad as he held my hand over the cup i was holding. Believe? I-In magic?.. Okay.. Well, if trolls, aliens, and wizards exist then.. Maybe i can do magic.. i concentrated real hard as Jim let my hand go.
"..How am I supposed to know it worked?.." I asked as i looked back to him.
"Its a leap of faith" he said and grinned as he sipped his drink. I narrowed my eyes and gave him a little glare as i set my hand down.
"See if you did it, Y/n" mom told me with a grin as well. I hummed in annoyance before slowly lifting it to my lips.. Then i drank it and.. It tastes like tea. Like the tea I once had with Claire in her home.
My eyes widened as I pulled the cup away from my lips. It worked..
"Now try mine, its the same thing but without magic" claire said as she switched me cups. So.. I drank it and..
"Th-Thats horrible.." i stuttered and put my hand over my mouth. Jim couldn't stop laughing at my reaction.
"Youve just done your first magic trick" Douxie told me proudly.
"That was a gross way to prove it.. i feel sick.." i muttered before drinking some of mine. It tastes so much better.
"Is it really that bad?" Peter asked with a chuckle.
"Imagine eating moldy fish and used gym socks" jim explained to them while i gagged at the thought.
"I cant believe you're back" toby sighed as everyone looked back to me happily.
"Yeah, now we've got the team back together" claire added smiling.
"We were just missing you.." Jim told me and looked so happy but why do i feel so left out?.. im not like any of them anymore.. Ive completely changed but they're all still the same..
"Whats wrong, honey?.." Mom asked and gently put her hand on my shoulder but I flinched at her touch and quickly hugged myself again.
"What? Nothings wrong, its just uh.. Its weird being back.." i said with a little smile as i looked around. I feel completely lost..
"Y/n.." Barbra said softly and worriedly.
"This change must be hard for her, dear.." Strickler said as he put his hand on her shoulder.
"Kids, why don't we get you home before it gets too late? We can talk another time" Claire suggested before anyone else started talking.
"What time is it?.." Roslin yawned as connor checked his phone.
"Im so grounded.." Connor muttered.
"Hey, dont worry! I'll take the guys, you take the girls" toby volunteered and stood up happily. Because they can drive now.. I never learned to drive a car..
"Y/n.." Jim whispered as everyone else was distracted.
"Y-Yes?.." i stuttered accidentally when he talked to me.
"You were away so long because I couldn't get you out sooner.. Then when I did, I couldn't find you again. Im sorry for that time you were alone but you wont be anymore.." Jim told me as i kept a tight hold on myself.
"Its okay, it doesn't really matter if I'm alone or not. I just need to keep this amulet in my hands.." i muttered and squeezed my amulet a bit tighter.
"Did you.. Did you not want to come back?.." He asked quietly. There were a few eyes on me. Like mom's and barbras but a few others were listening too.
"I shouldn't have.. i can't trust myself to not do anything wrong. I should be in the old troll market still.." i told him truthfully.
"Youre safe here though. This barrier keeps out Aku's magic. You won't be able to transform inside of it either" douxie told me with a smile.
"If that was true, than why hasn't our souls been returned to us?.. Didnt she use magic for that?.." i asked as i lowered my head. I still cant feel a thing.. im just scared..
"No, this is much like what happened with angorot, they must be in a material object and can only physically be returned to you unless she dies.." Douxie explained softly as the kids, toby and claire left.
"Even if you don't get them back, youre already half troll. You body can't change anymore either so you'll be stuck the way you are once your human sides are gone" Strickler told us but i don't think that's true.
"Or we die.." I muttered and let out a soft breath.
"Well you're not dead yet" mom told me and patted my shoulder again.
"Im not worried about myself.. I should leave.." i muttered as i stood up and and held my amulet tightly.
"No! Dont leave again!" Jim said as he took my free hand and held me back.
"I cant do this again, Jim.. This place is beautiful and more than I could ever ask for.. But i can't have this life.. I cant hurt everyone again.." i said with a lowered head as i slid my hand out from his. I asked him to stay with me but now im leaving.. im so selfish but I just want to save them from certain pain..
"Then im coming with you" he told me and sounded strongly about that.
"No.. Protect this house instead.." i said painfully as i took a step forward.
"Y/n, you cant leave again!" Mom shouted at me as arrrgh stood in front of the door.
"I have to go, arrrgh.." i said as i looked into his eyes with a painful stare. I cant hurt them again, i cant live through the pain of that again. I ruined everything for them, it all burned down. This house is their only safe place and i cant destroy that again..
"Jim, go with her.." Barbra said to him. Arrrgh's head lowered after seeing the look in my eyes.
"Not go.. Family.." Arrrgh pleaed.
"We are family.. I cant stay though.. Not till Aku leaves me alone.." i said softly and felt horrible. I wish she would let me live my life in peace while I still have it. If ill really be full troll sooner or later then I want to be with my human family.. But they don't live forever.. Aku would kill them..
"Come back or we'll find you sooner than you think." Mom told me and was in tears again.
"I cant.." i muttered as i walked past arrrgh then through the door. Jim still followed.. I looked at my amulet to find that the phrase changed for the 3rd time..
"For the new world, moonlight is mine to command.." i muttered after I was far outside of the barrier. I transformed into my normal armor but this time it didn't glow blue or white, it was just black..
"For the glory for merlin, daylight is mine to command" Jim said after me but i was far away by then. I went back to the old troll market because sun was going to rise soon. Of course jim followed though.. i didn't talk to him at all, i just kept walking. I walked down the path i created, the one through troll market. He was so amazed at everything I rebuilt and complimented me on it often but I didnt pay attention. I went right back to the little home I made for myself and laid down on the bed I had. This place makes me miss the home Jim built.. Sleeping in a real bed would be nice.. But.. im not human anymore.. i shouldn't be treated like one..
"The heartstone.." Jim awed as he walked past where I laid to see the glowing gem. Its our size right now. He moved on from the stone and instead went to see the wall i had written on.. i didn't want to watch while he read it so I turned on my side and covered the best i could up with my blanket. Those kids even brought me a new one while they visited a while ago.. Its a big quilt and its the nicest thing I own. Its light blue and a pretty off white with little red and pink roses the size of a humans pinky.
"Did you never leave this place the past four years?.." Jim asked softly and was still distracted by the drawings.
"This place was empty till those kids found it in August.. Now i have to move again.." i muttered and felt sad having to leave.
"We dont have to leave though.." Jim said as he looked over at me.
"No, i have to leave.. you have to stop following, im nothing but a shell anymore.." i mumbled and curled my legs to my chest.
"That couldnt be further from the truth.." He chuckled as he walked to the shelf where i had put all the little gifts the kids gave me. "Youre still Y/n no matter how much you think you've changed.." he said as he picked up the stuffed bear.
"Im not.." i mumbled and shut my eyes. I dont want to listen anymore.. "Go back to that house and leave me alone.." i told him but didn't mean it. I want him to stay with me, I dont want to be alone anymore but im terrified to try living again. I feel so empty and lost and I dont know what to do with myself. I'm living by a thread and everyone else's lives are in my hands but I dont know how to fix things. I cant fix anything.. I cant kill her.. I cant stop the world from ending because of her.. Why can't she just give me longer.. Why can't I just be with them..
"I wont leave you again.." he muttered before coming to me and sitting by my side. "Even if the world ends.. Ill still be with you.." he said as i tried to block it out with my hands over my ears. Why didn't Aku spare me and at least take away my feelings too? Why can't I truely just be an empty shell? Why can't just my body live on so my mental state can move on?
"I dont want to be with you anymore..." The pain from saying such words hurt me and hurt him even more. "I dont care about anyone else.. Just leave me alone.." i said as the overwhelming pain consumed my mind. My heart is beating out of my chest and i feel like ill throw up and cry.
"...Im not leaving you again.." he told me quietly. How could i say such things to him.. I just want to protect him, I just want him to move on. He can't be with me in any longer. He cant be by my side anymore.. Aku made sure I couldnt have anyone in my life again.. I have to leave..
"Im not asking.." i growled under my breath.
"Neither was i." He answered just as coldly.
"Why dont you understand?!" I screamed as i sat up and faced him. "The trolls were right to lock me away! I almost killed both our families and our friends! Aku still controls me! What do you not understand about me wanting to keep you all safe?!" I screamed at him. He looked shocked by my sudden out burst but.. touched.. Whyd I have to say that.. I should have just kicked him out or something before saying something so stupid..
"If you want to protect us then you'd stay." He told me as he stared right in my eyes.
"No!" I screamed as something broke inside me. I felt like i lost apart of me and became more of an animal in that moment.. My human side really is dying out..
"Listen to me!" Jim shouted as he suddenly put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down against my bed while he glare and looked more beastly than he ever has. We're both breaking.
"I don't want to listen! I want to be gone away from you forever!" I screamed as i kicked his stomach then got on my feet.
"No you don't! You missed us! You dont want to be alone, you want to be normal again!" He shouted and was completely spot on.
"I cant be normal! Just because there's a place that I actually fit into doesn't mean it's normal! I'm a monster!" I screamed at him and felt overwhelmingly angry.
"I am too! It doesn't matter what we are, all that matters is that the two of us make it a home!" He shouted as i made my sword appear.
"No! It doesn't work like that! We can't live off tricks and magic! We haven't finished school, we cant drive, we cant even make a family!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as tears poured from my eyes. "I-If I cant do that than I should be alone instead! You dont need me!" I cried as both our swords clashed and made sparks fly around us.
"Yes, I do! I've always needed you, youre the only one I've ever needed! Youre still my Juliet no matter how many years passed and no matter how much we've gone through! I cant lose you again!.. I-I cant do it again.." He said as he broke down and dropped his sword at my feet.
"I cant even call myself a person anymore, Jim.." i muttered as i looked at my hands.. the black.. it grew.. It grew because of this fight.. its still.. growing..
"Stop saying that!" He shouted suddenly and shook me to my core. "I dont care how much you've said it! You're still my Y/n no matter what about you has changed and ill never stop loving you!" He continued before slowly falling to his knees in front of me. "Please.. I just want you to come back with me.." he begged with a lowered head.
I dropped my sword in front of me, making it disappear as i stood with tears running down my cheeks and just stared at him. Ive lost it already..
"Im not human.." i began. He looked up at me in shock and in tears. "i dont feel anything at all.. I cant make you happy.. I cant even be happy myself.. Aku is coming back.. Ill stay here in Troll Market.. but you have to go.." i told him. Tears still ran down my emotionless face as i stared at him. The black marks on his skin grew a little but not like mine.. Im afraid ive lost every human part of me.. but what does that even mean?.. Who knows.. At least i know he won't die when his skin turns black like mine..
"Promise.. Promise me you'll never leave troll market unless I'm with you.." he said as he rose to his feet with his head hanging.
"..I promise..." i muttered watching him. I feel so numb now.. But i can still feel it.. Im still.. im still heart broken.. i still love him.. i still want to go home..
Without a word he walked closer and lifted his head.. he stopped in front of me.. He put his hand on my cheek and wiped the tears that fell from my eyes with his thumb.. Then he kissed me.. He always does this.. Neither of us can feel it but in my heart if feels so significant. Ill always love him, even if I cant feel his warmth.. even if i can't feel his skin against mine..
"Im coming back tomorrow night.. Please keep your promise.." he whispered agsinst my lips.
"I will.." i muttered and slowly lowered my head.
He left after that.. i watched him walk all the way through troll market then outside the door.. I wish he came back.
"Aku.. Why did you do this to me?..." i whispered as i fell to my knees.
"Itll all be over if you take my hand.. We would leave them behind forever.. Your friends and family will never be put in harms way again.." Aku said as she appeared from somewhere. I hate this witch..
"No.. Ill suffer so they wont.." i muttered and looked at my knees under me.
"That house you quickly grew to love so quickly.." she knows about the house.. "Itll never be safe from me.. Even if you took off this amulet again, you still won't escape me.." She said as a migraine pierced through my head.
"You just want your amulet back because you're powerless without it.." i muttered as my body was quickly engulfed in pain and made me fall on my side because I couldnt keep myself up anymore. Im so drained..
"I could kill you if I wanted.." she said as my thoat felt like it was tightening.
"Dont be scared.. I wont fight back.. Kill me.." i said, more like begged.
"Its fun watching you suffer.. You poor thing.." she said as she sat in front of me and lightly pet my head. "Youve even lost your human side too after that fight. That means you've lost your love as well.. So why don't you come with me.. ill give you everything you've ever wanted.." her words are useless.. She can't kill me, she can only torture me physically.. Maybe if she stabbed me with my own sword it would work..
"Y-Youre weak.. You cant kill me.." i stuttered from the pain as it got worse.
"Ive tried making you loose your mind.. It seems like its beginning to work.." She told me as she looked hard in my eyes.
"Im no more insane th-than you are.." i stuttered and could barely breathe. I place my hand over my chest in pain.
"Give me my amulet back, child.." She said as she tried to use magic to pull it out.
"A-Ah!" I screamed in pain as the amulet was being forced out.. Before that though.. I forced my sword back in my hand.. And stabbed her right through the stomach.
"You think a little cut would kill me?.." She asked as she began to float and my breath came back to me.
"Leave me alone! You'll never get this amulet back so long as i live!" I shouted and forced my sword back to my hand with its magic.
"Thats where you're wrong dear.." she mumbled and had a wide smile on..

Was I wrong?..