When fight takes flight

Prologue

"Struggle is a never-ending process. Freedom is never really won, you earn it and win it in every generation."

-Coretta Scott King

Prologue

It covers my hands, making them slippery as I squeeze them against each other.

"What's bothering you, Kelsey?"

The counselor has light brown hair, it lands right above her shoulder and is tucked behind her ears. I look down at her desk as she speaks to me, too fearful to look up.

I shake my head, I'm not going to answer her question, I can't. Her eyes scan me, observing me, waiting for me to mess up, waiting for me to open my mouth.

She frowns and sets her elbows down on the table, cupping her cheeks in the palms of her hands, attempting to make me more comfortable.

She is failing miserably

I try to distract myself, twirling my hair between my fingers, but the sweat on my hands makes it impossible.

"Kelsey?" She breaks the silence yet again.

I look up, making eye contact for the first time. She holds a small paper, it has been cut. I watch as she pushes it towards me, nodding her head, telling me to take it.

My name is Kelsey

That's what it says, my name.

Pathetic if I can't even say my name.

Read my name.

Whatever

I pull the sheet closer to me, I want to read it.

I look at the words and part my lips, I feel her remove her elbows from the desk, ready to congratulate herself on the progress I had made.

No sound escapes from my lips.

Nothing

I keep my eyes on the paper, I am not giving up.

I imagine what the counselor is thinking at this very moment. Presumably that I am stupid and incompetent, and I can't say that she's wrong.

She will never understand why I am having such trouble reading such a simple sentence off of a paper. And until she understood, she would not be able to help me.

I feel her arms reach across the table as she takes back the paper she had handed me, she had given up on me, so quickly.

"It's okay Kelsey," she places the paper in the trashcan "No one will be upset with you. You are not a failure. Many kids struggle with very similar things that you do and I promise, I promise, we will get to the bottom of this, and we will help you."

I nod my head, yet I know she is lying. She would never be able to help me, she would never get to the bottom of this. Without me, nothing can be solved. Kelsey means fierce, confident, and strong, all of the things I will never be.