When fight takes flight

One Last Hug

TRIGGER WARNING

"I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare."

― Ned Vizzini

One Last Hug

It was over, it was done, I was on my way back to school. I found it almost amusing how, even after what I had told my mother, I was still heading back. It had gone well, she had hugged me, told me it would be alright. But, was it? I don't even want to do this anymore, any of it, so then, how was everything going to be okay?

"Kelsey!"

I look to my right and see Dina standing there, lugging her suitcases towards the gates of the school.

"Hey," I say, attempting to hide the sadness in my voice.

I don't think I was doing a great job masking it

I don't think I sounded very happy.

"You okay?" she asks

I smile at her, unconsciously tapping my thighs where they had been cut.

I wish this could all be over.

I had a dream last night that I died in my sleep, that I simply went away peacefully. When I awoke, I was disappointed to realize that I was on a plane, and indeed alive.

I didn't want to have these thoughts, but I simply couldn't control them

They were painful.

They kept me awake.

I knew my moms had told the school.

The question is, would they do anything?

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For a moment, walking into my dormitory, I was happy. For a split second, I wanted to be here. And as soon as the thought had come, it had gone. I sunk into the floor, placing my head in between my knees, letting salty tears stream down my face.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong," Dina asks

I wish I would have remembered she was there.

I wasn't ready for this conversation.

"Come with me," I say

I walk with her towards the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind us, double-checking that I had locked it.

"Don't freak out, okay?"

I pull up my skirt, letting goosebumps rise to my skin, exemplifying my scars.

"Kelsey!" I hear the urgency in her voice, the fear "Does anyone know?"

"They know I wanna die," I say "But not about this, nobody can know. This is mine, this is for me"

I wasn't being fair, showing her something like that, and then simply brushing it off

It was like instant karma, how she walked into the room.

Emma

She sees my cuts.

She kneels down,

"What happened?" she asks

I could ask myself the same question

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