When fight takes flight

Drugs

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

-Anonymous

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Drugs

I walk into the room with my head down, I don't want to enter, but it's getting late, and I have no choice. I have to go to sleep. She's sitting on her bed, her phone cradled in her arms, Dina is.

"Hey, guys!" I say

She continues giving me the silent treatment, acting if I'm not even here, as if I don't even exist.

She stands up, walking in the direction of the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar.

She walks out with an angry look on her face.

"We have rules here! You can't just leave your fucking hair in the shower drain!"

I know it's directed at me.

She has something against me, something strange.

I also know that it isn't my hair that she had found in the drain, for I had cleaned my hair out of it just a few hours ago.

"It's not mine," I say, although I know no one will believe me.

It's such a small thing, a fucking piece of hair, but for some reason, it's affecting me.

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I remember when my friendship had first broken off with Yardena, the day we had that argument.

I went home that day in mama's car.

Usually, I was extremely talkative, not leaving enough space in a room for oxygen, I could tell that she was worried, the way that I was so silent.

I hated the fact that I was in an argument with my friend at all, the idea of leaving someone who I had been so dependant on wasn't something I had wanted to explore.

"Kelsey? Are you okay?"

I imagined telling my mama everything. I had imagined explaining to her about the fight, and the way I had been framed so that Yardena thought I had been talking shit about her. I imagined for a second initiating a conversation with mama, a conversation about my feeling.

"Nothing" I had said "I'm just tired"

"Hmm," she said

She clearly didn't believe me, she knew me too well for that

"When I was a little girl, I fought with my best friend. We had an argument and when I tried to confront her, she wouldn't even speak to me. The next day. It was like the argument hadn't even happened, things had returned to normal. I know that sometimes things seem like they'll never go away, but sometimes, it seems more serious than it really is"

I wondered how mama knew what had happened without me uttering a single word.

I knew she was my mother and all, but she was pretty damn good.

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"I can't do it anymore I'm scared to even enter my dormitory and I hate being treated like I don't even exist. What am I going to do?"

"I know it sucks, and I know it seems like the staff isn't doing anything, but we really are, even if you don't see it," Emelia says

Now that is actual bullshit. There was nothing the staff could possibly be doing when I didn't even understand why my best friend was bullying me. I refuse to believe that some random adults know more about me and my friendships than I do.