When fight takes flight

Graduation

"There is nothing more beautiful than finding your course as you believe you bob aimlessly in the current. Wouldn't you know that your path was there all along, waiting for you to knock, waiting for you to become. This path does not belong to your parents, your teachers, your leaders, or your lovers. Your path is your character defining itself more and more everyday like a photograph coming into focus."
—Jodie Foster

Graduation

I set my head into my lap letting my arms slowly lose feeling. A tear slides down my cheek, causing me to move one of my arms to wipe it off. I stand up carefully and walk to the bathroom, attempting to wash off the evidence of my tantrum. The events of today are inevitable, the fear is simply a side effect of thinking, hoping that I could change them, and change myself. I chuckle to myself, it is silly to imagine any of that happening, stupid to even speculate. Last year had been a disaster, that was something that anyone I knew could confirm The year before had been too, although it had started differently. No two days had been the same. A reading strike, that's what my teachers had called it. My friends had simply gotten frustrated with me, and the popular kids had chosen me to be their next pet, taking in the most vulnerable child. I had always lied low, not wanting to receive extra attention, yet, that's what I was best at.

Pushing these thoughts away I pull out a white dress from my closet. It has a certain flow to it, yet it is simple, calm, and neutral. I don't need any attention and I want my dress to follow suit. I close my eyes, remembering the practice for this big day. Almost 100 hours we spent, just to perfect a two-hour ceremony.

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I let my hair fall onto my shoulders as I walk down the stairs. My hands instinctively move to pat it down, ridding me of the sensation of a tickle on my neck. I gasp audibly as I miss a step, almost tripping over my own feet.

"Kelsey, was that you?" I hear a scream from across the hallway, it's my mom. Sometimes I wonder how she even lets me walk outside of the house without a leash attached to me, she worries too much. It's funny how one day, you're literally a part of your mother, and the next, you want to get as far away as possible.

"Yes Mom, I'm fine, just missed a step over there"

I catch my mom's glance as I enter the kitchen, her light green eyes focused upon me. I have always been jealous of her hair, the way it falls so naturally. While mine, for lack of a better word, is a rats nest

"Hey, mom, what time is my hair appointment?" I ask

I cringe as I speak, remembering why I'm having such an elaborate hair appointment in the middle of the week. It's embarrassing, you know, that I'm embarrassed. Nobody else is so nervous that shivers run down their spine at the mere mention of graduation. Nobody cries, well, at least not for the same reasons.

"It's at 4 pm" She swivels her head around as she speaks, her eyes glimmering in the sunlight. I finish my breakfast quickly, only stomaching a few bites of cereal as the anxiety has already built up inside of me. I drain the rest, watching as the mushy cheerios stick to the ceramic bowl. The simple act of looking at food causes my stomach to churn. I feel something rise inside of me and immediately set down my dish.

"I'm going to Alia's, is that okay?" I blush as I speak

I can't bear the thought of staying inside with my mother all day, either of them. It's too risky, I don't trust myself. And yet, a part of me wants to be with her.

she smiles as she looks at me.

I met my first friend at the age of two, I still remember her, I still talk to her for that matter. At the age of two, I wanted to be exactly like my best friend. I wanted to dress like her, act like her, and look like her. We were inseparable, that is, until we parted ways, until we switched schools. Friendships are like that, they are so hard to make, and so easily broken.