When fight takes flight

First Day

"Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it's the loudest voice in the room. The only one you can hear." -Anonymous

The First Day

She had told me her name was Yardena, I remember everything about her.

The way her skirt had twirled in the wind, the way she stumbled over her words, the way she limped when she walked

She was new, I hadn't seen her before.

I had the honor of being her first friend.

Her first confidant.

I had the honor of getting to know the real her, or at least who I thought was the real her.

I remember it like it was yesterday, the fight.

It was messy, to say the least. I had entered school late that day, I had a doctor's appointment, a flu shot I think.

She stared at me, I remember that stare, she had looked angry, I wasn't sure why.

We were attached at the hip, Yardena, and I.

"You know what you did" she had said to me.

But I didn't.

I had no idea what was causing my friend too so desperately breakaway

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I listen as the doorknob turns, creaking loudly as it is twisted. I could see her waves from here, they look magical. I watch as they sway, left to right, I can't get a good look at her face just yet. She finally enters, putting a stop to the squeaking, and looks right at me. She has green eyes, bright ones too, almost like a tree in the sunlight, the leaves being hit by the yellow rays. I feel as her eyes stare into my soul, making me feel violated as if she could see inside of me.

"I'm Anna," She says, walking towards me.

"Kelsey" I whisper

I feel something strange as she stands over me, something new.

I'm sure what it is, or why I am feeling it.

I feel my heart flutter

"Come with me" she breaks the silence

And so I do

We walk, just for a moment, stopping at her dormitory

"Wanna meet the girls?"
I don't but I couldn't say no to her, not to Anna.

So I don't

"Yes," I say

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An hour had passed since our initial interaction, it had been strange.

I spent the hour contemplating, worrying about Yardena, about our friendship.

It simply had made no sense, there was no logical reason for this, at least nothing that I could remember.

We were inseparable, almost in a toxic way, so I had wondered what could have severed the seemingly flawless friendship we had, what could have been so terrible.

It dawned on me, I don't remember when, but it eventually dawned on me.

It was right in front of me, so obviously there, so pronounced.