A Court of Ice and Fire

Chapter 11

When confronted with the choice between what seems right, and what you want to do, most people would be selfish. Your whole being wants to be selfish, to protect yourself. But looking across the table at Feyre's hopeful face, I know that being selfish would only hurt her more. 

I don't have to ask to know that my sisters didn't adapt to Rhys's appearance well, or Feyre's transformation. I used to be the one person she could trust to be there for her, and I want to keep being that person-at least on this side of the wall. 

"If you need a place to stay, and don't want to be bothered by Elain or Nesta, then you're more than welcome here." I wave my arm around the house, forcing my face to come off as loving and sincere as possible. 

Rhysand bows his head towards me, a solemn and grateful look on his face as he peers up at me. "You truly are a miracle Dahlia Acheron. I don't know how you managed to come out of what you've been through with so much strength, but I will forever be grateful for what you did for Feyre, and what you are now doing for me."

I want to tell him I would have done it for anyone, but that would be a lie. Only Feyre can pull this kind of strength from me-the strength to look Rhys in the eyes and not want to stab them out with a hot poker. 

I give him a slight nod of my head before turning to Feyre, who's eyes were shining. "I know." I tell her quietly, before reaching forward and entwining my arms above her head. 

I know exactly how my sisters reacted to her new body-her new life. They hated the Fae, with good reason, and they wouldn't be able to stand having a Fae sister. It was bad enough that Feyre chose to go back to Prythian, but when she came back as one of them, it was the last straw for them. 

She would no longer be accepted fully into the family, she would never get the invitations to Elain's wedding, never get the surprise visits or the words of love. She was an outsider now, to everyone but me. Because no matter how much she changed on the outside, I don't think anyone can ever break the person she is on the inside. 

"Will I see you before you leave?" My voice is too quiet-too timid. Feyre's eyes sweep over me before biting her lip. 

"I'll stop by in the morning before we head back-Are you sure you don't want to come with me? You're all alone here and-"

"I prefer being alone right now." I cut her off, shaking my head. My eyes look around the small house that I've began to call home, and her eyes soften in understanding. 

Feyre steps back, a small smile on her face as she looks at me. "I'll see you in the morning." I give her the smallest wave of my hand, watching as both her and Rhysand leave, taking their Fae powers with them.

I nearly collapse onto the ground after they leave, but I manage to stand steady as everything I held back-every emotion-comes rushing back full force. 

Rhys's apology seemed heartfelt enough, but the words don't change what happened.  But I feel my anger slowly being redirected from Rhys, and towards the red haired bitch who ordered him dead. 

Rhys was just a pawn in her games, and if her throat hadn't already been torn out-I would be out there hunting her down. 

My anger rises faster by the second, and with it comes a multitude of feelings I have been denying for months. This time, I don't push them back, or run away from them. 

I let them run through my like water, letting them ease into my body without any resistance. The once unbearable boulder on my shoulders seems to lift, and I ignore the tears that are now staining my cheeks as I move forward, needing to release some of the roiling feelings moving through my body.