do you know who you are? | harry styles

10: harrys ex

today we were in france! we had a day off to hang out and then today was the show.
i was thinking of talking to harry or at least texting him: hey maybe i like you.

my thought got interrupted when a tall girl followed harry into the dressing room. i looked up in confusion.
"oh you must be mara" she smiled.
"huh?" i didnt know what was going on.
"Sorry, who are you?" I furrowed my eye brows - because i literally had no clue who she was.
"Huh?"
"Wh-i dunno who you are? Harry??" I looked at the brunette who was looking away awkwardly.
"Uh this is Willow...my uh...ex girlfriend"

I forgot he was a nice person.

harry could tell i was acting a bit off.
"Alright. well harold? what colour suit is it tonight?" i asked him.
"royal blue" he replied as he put a royal blue blazer on his chair.
"oh, my favourite one" willow smiled and harry smiled back softly.
why was i just...not okay with that?

"im thinking a pink eye look OR we can do blue to colour co ordinate" i said to harry.
"can we do both?" he asked. i'd taught him a bit about make up and he was very happy.
"i'll do a really good cut crease with both colours" i replied.
"yes!" he grinned.
i got to work, feeling willows eyes on me. her and harry talked and i didn't really get involved as i felt anxious.

then she had the fucking NERVE to make comments on how i was doing harry's make up.
i knew i was going to cry and i tried to make it less obvious.  then i snapped.
"if youre going to tell me how to do my job then let me ask you why the fuck are you even here?" i snapped.
She went a bit red but stayed quiet. Harry was trying not to laugh, the little bitch.

i finished with a hot pink lip and dusted some highlight on his cupids bow. i set it all into place and he looked.
"amazing. as usual" he smiled at me.
i smiled too. "you have a good time out there" i said.

"harry uh...i'll walk you to the stage" Willow said.
"cool" harry got up and headed to the door with her. i always walked harry to the stage. i knew i was going to cry.
"you coming?" harry turned to me.
"uh...you two go ahead" i replied.
"but...you always walk me to the stage" he sounded hurt. great, i upset harry.
"i gotta tidy away. but have fun"
i didn't wish him luck this time. he already had it.
"well...i'll see you then" he and the blonde walked out of the room and headed to the stage.

i sat in the corner of the dressing room sobbing. i felt so replaced and worthless. after a crying session i cleaned my make up and went to see harry perform. during adore you, he glanced at Willow and grinned.

That hurt like a fucking bitch.

The blonde girl smiled to herself them spotted me.
"i was thinking of getting back together with harry. Is that okay with you?" she asked.
"i don't care if you date harry" i replied.
"well i know you like him but you aren't his type" she said.
"Oh shut up you cunt" i went back to the dressing room and started sobbing again.

i called my friend Salma, not knowing what to do.
"hey mara! whats up?"
"i think i like him and i dont know what to do" i cried.
"noo don't cry! talk to me!"
"im not even his type! im just a boring make up artist. I-im not her" i sniffled.