do you know who you are? | harry styles

20: we'll be alright

TW relapse

reading hate comments was a bad idea but i couldn't help it. comments about my height. how i looked, my make up...it was awful.

one afternoon, harry had gone into town to get some skincare products. i was making lunch when leanna had sent me screenshots of hate tweets about me - they were so horrible.

she's so ugly lmaoo

She's too short to be dating Harry

What the fuck does he see in her?

She can't date him she's not white - not his type??

Lol shes not even pretty, some make up artist

i'd sank to the floor crying my eyes out. i had awful temptations and thoughts. harry was helping me quit but it was so difficult. i just wanted to feel something. i couldn't stop crying and the pain felt like it would last forever. i balled my hands up and felt my nails pierce into my skin and sobbed harder, feeling guilt and shame. the fridge was right next to me i could just get some ice out. i couldn't fucking control it. there was blood in my nails and on my fingers. i was sobbing so hard that i didn't hear harry come home and call "darling, im back".

"mara" a sad voice spoke. i couldn't face harry - i'd let him down. he put his paper bag on the counter and knelt down beside me.
"whats the matter, loce?" he spoke gently. then he saw my phone and the words KILL YOURSELF on the screen . i wiped away my tears as he scrolled through twitter.
"how long has this been happening?"
"there were a few at first which i could handle. then...it got worse" i sniffled.
"okay" he put my phone down and pressed his hands against my cheeks. "from now on, if anything happens i need you to tell me. i want you to be safe"
"y-youre not responsible for me"
"i know but i love you. And i dont want you doing this to yourself." he looked at the blood on my hands and sighed. "My god love" harry wiped away my tears gently. "c'mon lets get you cleaned up" he picked me up and sat me on the counter and got a first aid kit out from the top cabinet.

"so...you're not...mad?" i asked.
"course not" the brunette replied, cleaning the blood off my hands. "Could never be mad at you baby" he responded as he bandaged my hand up.
"A-are you sure?" i whispered.

he stood in front of me, my legs on either side of him.
"I'm not leaving your side, i promise"