Say Something (boyxboy) ✔️

(25) You Don't Want to Want Me, But You Do

Andy's POV

Sonny and I camped out at the beach and headed back to my mum's the next morning. I didn't know how Rye was going to react to our news but Sonny wanted to tell them straight away and I couldn't argue with him. My mum was sat in the living room when we got back, but there was no sign of Rye.

"Hiya loves. Did you enjoy your night?"

"We did." I smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek as Rye came bounding down the stairs, stopping in his tracks once he laid eyes on me.

"We actually have some really exciting news to tell you both." Sonny exclaimed, not noticing the sudden tension between Rye and I.

"What is it?" My mum asked, the doorbell ringing seconds later.

"Hold that thought." Rye smirked, opening the door.

"Who is it hun?" My mum called.

"I invited a guest. Figured you'd want to meet my girlfriend."

Seeing Brianna walk into the house with her hand in Rye's was a huge slap in the face. It reminded me why Rye and I could never be together. We'd never be more than what we already were until she was out of the picture.

"Who's this lovely lady?" My mum beamed, standing up to pull her into a hug.

"I'm Brianna. It's nice to meet you Mrs Fowler."

"Call me Lesley." She smiled, taking Brie's face in her hands. "You're so pretty."

"Thank you." Brianna blushed.

My mum glanced up at Rye, sending him a wink. "She's definitely a keeper."

He nodded, eyes suddenly finding mine as he spoke. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on letting her go anytime soon."

I looked down, the carpet suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the room. I felt sick knowing that Rye had just used me, but I couldn't bring myself to regret sleeping with him. I'd been wanting it for too long to regret it happening.

"So what's this big announcement of yours then boys?" My mum questioned once we were all seated.

"Well.." Sonny trailed off, sending me a warm smile. "We're moving in together!"

"What?" All three of them shouted at once. I couldn't help but notice the angry tone in Rye's voice as opposed to the excitement laced in the girls' voices.

"I asked him last night. I know it's a bit fast but I love him too much to waste another second." Sonny beamed.

"I'm so happy for you!" My mum exclaimed, pulling us both into a hug. Rye's eyes never left mine, gesturing to the stairs with a nod of the head.

"Andy, can I talk to you for a moment?"

I had no choice but to follow him up, heading towards a most likely awkward conversation as the girls fussed over Sonny downstairs.

"What the fuck Andy!?" He snapped once my bedroom door was shut.

"What?"

"You're moving in with him?"

"So what?"

"Is that what you really want?"

I couldn't tell what he was feeling, an unreadable emotion in his eyes.

"Is Brianna who you really want?" I challenged.

His cold expression dropped to reveal the scared little boy hidden behind.

"I love her." He muttered. I scoffed.

"Yeah right. You clearly love her with all your heart. That's why you slept with me yesterday!"

He shoved me backwards, pinning me to the wall with one hand as he covered my mouth with the other.

"Keep your voice down." He gritted.

"Why? Too scared to admit you want a boyfriend, not a girlfriend?"

"I don't!" He hissed.

"Why are you doing this to yourself Ryan? Forcing yourself to hide behind the mask of a careless fuck boy when I know you're anything but. Why are you pressuring yourself to be someone your not?"

"I'm nothing like you. I'm with Brianna. I love Brianna." He repeated, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself as well as me.

"Okay." I said, moving his hand from my chest with ease. "Then let me go back to Sonny."

"I can't." He whispered.

"Ryan."

He finally met my gaze and I'd never seen someone look so lost before. I felt for him, I really did. He was fighting off something much stronger than him and it was only a matter of time before he snapped. But I couldn't force him to give in if he wasn't willing to accept the way he felt until it became too much for him to handle.

"Tell me what's going on in there." I spoke softly, tapping his forehead with my index finger. He squeezed his eyes shut, taking deep breathes.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." He admitted.

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"I don't want you."

"I know."

"I love Brianna."

"I know."

"I'm not gay."

"I know."

"Will you stop saying that?!" He shouted, pushing me further into the wall. "Argue with me. Tell me you don't believe me. Fucking do anything besides what you're doing right now!"

"Do you want me to fight it for you?" I asked.

"Please."

I brought both my hands up to his cheeks, rubbing my thumbs across the soft skin.

"You're not gay." I started and he sighed, almost as if he was relieved to hear someone else say the words. He wasn't gay. He genuinely loved Brianna and I knew that. He just happened to be falling for a boy too.

"You do love Brianna." I continued, smiling softly at him. "But she's not the only one you love, is she?"

He let out a sharp breath, a silent sob. "I love her."

I nodded, biting my lip. "I know. But you want me."

"I don't." He cried.

"You don't want to want me, but you do. You want me and you don't like that."

"Babe, Brianna and I are gonna go for a walk. Your mum is getting ready to go to the gym. Be back later." Sonny called, the front door slamming shut moments later.

I turned back to Rye who was still staring into my baby blues.

"If you don't want me, then let me go." I told him.

He shook his head, leaning in so that his lips were brushing against mine.

"I can't."

Then he kissed me. Again.

And I let him because I was still selfish.

authors note -
okay this is not how i expected this chapter to go but i kinda love it so oh well.

i'm fucking gassed for rye and sonny's new single. i can't wait, it sounds sick !!

bye peasants Xx