Winning Hurricane

XVII - Amphetamines

I was wide awake 'til midnight. Nahihirapan akong tumulog.. naka-ilang ikot nadin ako sa kama, naka dalawang gatas na ako pero yong kabog ng puso ko walang pag-babago. Ang daming tanong sa isip ko pero wala akong maisip na sagot..

So, hindi lang pala ako sa paga-advice bobo.. pati sa ganito..

I already have a hint but his confession still left me speechless. It wasn't the first time he told me about his feelings but this time it was different.. really different for it wasn't one sided anymore.

I can still remember his image. The yellow light against his face.. the way he gulped as his hand trembled. The way he heaved a sigh to gather courage.. how he delivered those words..

The sincerity in his eyes.. the bravery and fear, uncertainty it was all there except for regret.

"Gusto kita."

He likes me too and normal girls would probably jump and goes on social media to announce their blooming lovelife but I am Chandrella.. I just don't jump in the situation and go with the freaking flow..

It was really hard for me to accept my own feelings and entering relationships isn't a priority.. I am already thinking ahead, I know but I need to consider every damn possibilities out there.

Of course, he confessed. It's either he'll just disappear again like before and leave me with hundreds of questions or ask me about my feelings too. I want neither to happen.

I.. I want him near me, it was selfish really.. I want him near as I sort things out.

He wasn't in my plans, see?

Besides.. he is Hurricane! He wasn't even in the list of the people I imagined having a relationship with!

"Huy, ang galaw mo." nagising bigla si Ansel, nagkukusot ng mata na tumingin sakin. I looked at her with apology. "Anong problema?"

Umiling ako. But she's my bestfriend.. she knew me better than anyone.

"Sulitin mo pag-gising sakin! Ano nga?"

I heaved a sigh as I stare deep in her eyes. "He confessed.." I whispered, I saw how she frowned.

"Ano? Laksan mo nga boses mo."

"Hurricane confessed." Mas malakas ko ng sagot.

She blinked. Umurong ng konti bago ulit kumurap. I didn't expect this reaction.. what I was expecting is 'tili' or 'talon' from her! She's almost lost for words! The same reaction I got kanina sa kotse.

"Oh.. my.. guard! Pano? Pano?"

"We were in the car-"

"Pano kayo napunta sa kotse?!"

I rolled my eyes. Of course, she wants it detailed.

"Pinuntahan niya ako sa may hospital, since you told him daw about what happened." Tumango siya, malaki ang ngiti at halatang proud sa ginawa niya. Tsk. "He.. comforted me.. then we ate balot tapos I asked him if dinala din niya yong babaeng gusto niya para kumain ng balot then he asked me kung gusto ko malaman then I said no tapos hinatid ko siya sa condo nila, nong nasa tapat na kami he asked me pano daw if gusto niya sabihin kung sino yong gusto niya! I don't know what to react then there.. he told me 'gusto kita'."

I can feel my whole face burning habang kinekwento ko yon. Halos mawalan din ako ng hininga sa sobrang bilis ko mag-kwento! This is not so me! Never ako napag-kwento ni Ansel pero parang sasabog talaga ako kapag kinimkim ko lang lahat.

"Omg! Hindi ka nakain ng balot dba?"

This time, I was the one who frowned at her.. really? Yon talaga ang natandaan niya?!