Meant to be

Ch 7 contd...

While all the positive attention from Salman Khan felt great, it also drew the worst out of the housemates towards Shehnaaz. Especially from Paras and almost all the women. The other female participants were completely taken aback that someone without any designer clothes , hardly any grooming or tact would draw such warmth, wit and genuine affection from Salman Khan, what was worse is Salman Khan hardly tried to hide his abject affection for this girl. Not only did he speak so softly and sweetly with her he also almost like a proud parent stood with such pride when the guests on the show praised her. For the other female contestants especially Mahira what they had in their arsenal of tricks was fashion, looks and contrived cuteness which  was brought out on full throttle on the weekends but all of it fell so short in front of the natural charm and personality of Shehnaaz.

Dealing with this on weekends was bad enough, again almost everyone had to concede to the charm, leadership and aura that Sidharth Shukla exuded. The man just did not let anyone get near him. If you had not rubbed him off the wrong way, at best he was cordial with you, but with Shehnaaz it was like some other Sidharth emerged and the physical and emotional way she had access to him was something that unnerved everyone.

Given these brewing tensions it was not a surprise that during the snakes and ladders task though the United weight of the opposition started out against sidharth, it soon was directed at Shehnaaz. Though it was not obvious most of this stemmed from Rashmi who just could not believe she was upstaged by this girl who came out of nowhere. Things got really unsavoury and a lot of crude and pedestrian comments and taunts were made. Things went from bad to worse and Shefali Bagga really let loose on Shehnaaz and accused of her many a hurtful things and insinuating that all she did in the house was to sidle upto male company and comfort. At one point as was expected Shehnaaz too ripped into her and said some pedestrian things back at her.

The minute she cursed Shefali, Shehnaaz regretted it. She had defeated herself. She knew she was better than this and the whole point of her coming to this show was lost. She could almost see her adversaries outside snigger and nod their heads thinking what else was she capable of. She shouldn't have said it but when she heard of the comments that both Sidharth Dey and Shefali Bagga made it reminded of the painful insinuations and rumours that were floating in Punjabi industry with regards to her character, this was post the Himasnhi controversy. She could feel the bitter taste of bile rise up in her throat. She ran to the restroom because she did not want anyone to see this side of hers. She threw up, it was what often happened when she was pushed to the brink. It was a release but also something that clenched. She shuddered and felt exhausted. Exhaustion was not an option was it, she had done well thus far, obviously it was not going to be easy. She squared her shoulders and decided that shutting herself in here was not an option. She reluctantly prepared herself to get out. She could hear Asim, arti and Sidharth shuffling outside. She was not in a mood to face them, especially Arti who she found very artificial and her only agenda was to impress Sidharth, so even her attention towards Shehnaaz was only towards that end! She sighed deeply and opened the door to get out.

As soon as Sidharth saw her he said "Relax Shehnaaz, physical math ho please!" Uff this man how did he do it. Amongst the clamour or voices of arti and Asim that is all she heard, him being personal and consoling, he touched her even without touching her. That gave her enough strength for now to go on. She met his eyes through the mirror of the bathroom and found him once again piercing into her with so much of sincerity in his eyes. She slightly nodded to put him at ease that she is now mostly fine. He too flicked his head slightly acknowledging her.

Even though she apologised to Shefali she still felt downright ugly and miserable. She felt the stirrings of anxiety building up in her, this felt badly familiar. It took her to the those dark days alone in her apartment, lonely and broken. Back then she had the luxury of privacy, here that was not an option. Earlier she heard Mahira and Devo talking about how they should start a trend for #gobacksana , it can't be happening again. Surely her career cannot be affected again. A very tough lesson she had learnt early on is that not everyone could afford a misstep, she did not have the kind of background that allowed for missteps.