Meant to be

Chapter 12: Let's dance?

"Shehnaaz?" Sidharth softly called out to shehnaaz who was sitting with Vishal and Arti on the round carpet in the living area. Only she heard it and whipped her head around because she was not sure if she heard it or imagined it. Only to find him flick his head silently asking her to come to him. Butterflies, in her tummy... a strange tune her heart was playing it all pulled and tugged at the right places. She surreptitiously got up and walked out only to find him sitting on the greed garden couch, His eyes were closed and head rested on the mirror/wall behind and his hands locked and resting on his tummy, his feet were stretched out on the table in front.

Whatever had transpired between them had burst open unchartered grounds and they both now could no longer hide behind the pretense of a cute friendship. It definitely was more than that, but both were not ready to define it yet but they did not want to leave it unconsumed either. As shehnaaz excitedly came and sat next to Sidharth, again those wretched butterflies she felt a pang of attraction and desire for him but it was heavily wrapped around feelings. She took a moment to look deeply at him and was completely lost in looking and capturing every part of him. It almost startled her when he in his deep voice purred "Arrey! villain ko kaun aisay check out karta  hai bey?" And then lazily opened his eyes and looked back at her and allowed his vulnerability to show in his eyes "bohot bura laga jab tunay voh bola. Uss waqt mujhay laga ki tera aur mera abhi kabhi bhi nahi banega. Shit man it was so bad shehnaaz! Kyun bola Aisa tunay" He said all of this in a low voice and a piercing gaze and as he said this he had taken her hand in his and intertwined their fingers and he kept pressing her tiny fingers between his as if to also convey through his touch how much she had affected him.

"Haaye! Mainay toy Asim key baarein mein kaha tha! Sidharth! Tu na kabhi villain nahi ban saktha! Tab bhi nahi jab tunay Asim sey mere liye dur rakh bola." As she was saying this all those emotions and the vulnerabilities she felt in those moments came rushing back to her and she quickly shuffled closer to sidharth and snuggled Upto him. Their intermingled hand now lay on her lap and her face was buried in the crook of his neck almost. She inhaled him deeply, this felt like home. He felt like home. "Patha hai Mein 7 saal ke Umar sey akeli hoon. Padhayi ke liye parents nay maama maami kay Ghar bhej diya tha. Udhar na unhonay mujhe pyaar Toh forget it lekin bohot Kaam karwaya. Tab mainay apnay aap sey promise kiya tha ke kisi ko bhi mein mujhay hurt karnay ka mauka nahi doongi. Lekin tunay aakay voh haq le liya sidharth. Ab mein terese expectations rakhti hoon. Tu meko hurt karega ya nahin voh mein nahi jaanthi lekin tu mujhay hurt kar sakta hai ."

Sidharth felt anger and helplessness bubble up inside him as he heard shenaaz speaking but he was also taken by surprise because she hardly ever shares anything personal, she looked up at him, put her small hands on his face and drew his forehead down to her lips and kissed it firmly, Sidharth was stunned but at the same time he felt so content and complete when she did that. He liked being liked by her. It felt so good it felt like home. As they both looked sweetly at each other she said "mein jaanti hoon tu yeh cut karvayega isiliye meinay yensab abhi bola! Terese ab attached ho gayi hoon, tu mere liye important hai. Expectations hain terese."

"Shehnaaz tu bohot special Ladki hai, mere saath judegi sab teko target karenge aur tera game weak ho jayega. Mein tumhay apna family jaisa maanta hoon. I am not comfortable being so emotionally vulnerable or dependent on anyone and that too on camera. Tu jab paras ke paas chalee gayi bohot hurt hua. Main  aaj tak sirf apnay maa aur behenon ke saamnay mere weakness ko dikhaaya hai. Abhi terese Mein affect ho raha hoon. Hum bachay toh hai nahi key we don't understand what's happening. Jo bhi hamaarey beech ho raha hai, meremay itni will power hai ki main iss mod par back out kar sakta hoon, Lekin karna nahin chahtha Hoon. I like you but I don't want me or my game to become weak. Sana promise kar ki hum log game toh individually khelenge lekin ek doosre par nahin. Aur Ek aur baath, mein Bohot introverted hoon, bilkul apni life ya apni emotions ko kabhi bhi baahar nahi aaney detha! Mere feelings jo hain tere liye wo mere hain, mein kabhi bhi Nahin chahoonga ke ye cameras ke saamnay ya housemates Kay saamnay ho. Mainay life Mein ek Cheez notice kee hai, jis bandha aapko strong banata voh hee bandha aap ko weak bhi bana saktha hai. Tu aaj is ghar Mein meri strength hai, pls mera weakness kabhi nahi Ban na! Ok?" Saying this he clutched the side of shehnaaz's face and drew both their foreheads together and he whispered "I missed you so much!"

Shehnaaz did not know how to react because she had never been shown such vulnerability, never been given such strength. Her heart was filled with gratitude and she smiled and settled in back to her corner and cheekily said "lagta toh nahi tha, missed you, aapkay baajoo, agal bagal sab kanyaon ki toh line lagi thi. Khil rahe thay, has rahe thay!"

Sidharth shook his head and chuckled before saying "apnay ko toh gadhi chahiye thi, Kanyaon ka cheez hai. Meko gulab jamun soemtimes khaana Acha Lagta hai, roz ka nahi hai, lekin daal, daal toh roz chahiye boss! Daal ke bina toh apna kuch chaltha ich Nahin!"

Before she could say anything Arti came up and sat in between them and said "kya baath Kar rahe ho?"

Sidharth noticed shehnaaz's face fell but she quickly recovered. He wanted her to know that no Arti, no himanshi or no zariwala could ever come close to what she meant for him. He too was annoyed that Arti had to come in between and spoil the candid conversation they were having. So to cheer her up and to reiterate the message he told Arti "kuch nahin, mein keh raha tha sana ko ki you are a sweet friend of mine, just like gulab jamun!"

Shehnaaz continued looking down and smiled. She got up and wished both of them goodnight and went to settle into bed, back to her bed, last night even though they had patched up, she still was unsure of things, but this little conversation of theirs went a long way in making her feel better. Soon after she had settled in she felt the bed dip next to her and a familiar and irresistible fragrance filled her senses and she knew that Sidharth was back in the bed.
Since the patch up last night something deep had shifted between the two of them like they both were not what they were to each other and had not yet become what they wanted to be also. This restlessness was throbbing between the two of them. "Tu so gayi kya?" Sidharth whispered, she smiled opened her eyes and looked at him "nahin kya hua?"
"Haath pakadke sona hai.Is that awkward for you?"
She grinned and turned towards him "hug karke sona hai. Is that awkward for you?"
"Shehnaaz jaan lelegi yaar, idhar Aaja. Bhelpuri meri!"
"Nahin! Dal Mein Teri!" And they both burst out laughing and sidharth peppered her forehead with a few tiny feathered kisses and they both settled into a long and happy rest.

Thank you for stopping by. Hope you enjoyed the read.