Meant to be

Chapter 8: why do i care so much?

It had been three weeks since the housemates had been locked into the house. The thing not many understood was that every day within that house was so condensed so saturated with each other and it was so intense and it was also so exaggerated. While the tasks and issues and arguments were going on it was a pressure cooker for every contestant.

Most housemates were puzzled at how a Sidharth and Shehnaaz both were  getting unflinching support from Salman khan and the audience, surely they were not worthy of the attention or credibility. While all this was going on Arti could not help but feel ever so slightly insecure about the attention and affection Shehnaaz recieved from Sidharth. For her she depended heavily on Sidharth not only for the game but she also has hopes of them becoming more than friends eventually. Not that's it was an entirely unlikely match either.

Sidharth on the other hand was getting restless because of the pressure everyday, he was more than capable of handling it but unknowingly he was forming attachments and there were expectations which had started affecting him. He was getting irritated at how Arti kept quoting him and name dropping at every instance she could and frankly it was embarrassing because while they knew each other, it was not a friendship that was as close as she was projecting it out. She also kept referring to some 'article' linking the two of them together. It really was getting to him. He still needed a team to get ahead in this game. Right now he was in a good place because Asim and Shehnaaz were genuinely sweet kids, Shehnaaz ofcourse was a loose canon but she was his main release from the pressure points.
He would have to find a way to keep Arti at length because he was always careful to avoid any link ups and even when they were true, his extremely private nature he never publicly acknowledged any relationship. Arti can be a part of the team if she thought it is what genuinely she should do, but in no way he wanted her to think that they are obliged to each other because of an exaggerated sense of loyalty.

Shehnaaz on the other hand post the snake and ladder task had gotten a reality check about how against her the rest of the housemates were. Shehnaaz has an unlikely advantage in the game, she had no expectation of getting ahead, she after all had come 2 to 3 weeks at best now beyond this whatever cane her way was a bonus. Also she was a girl who had a hostel experience, perhaps because of that experience she was able to get along with everyone and not hold  too many grudges and also in some ways stand by people when they needed it. For a Sidharth who was the epicentre of his world this was very puzzling.

How could she forgive Bagga and Rashmi. How could she speak with devoleena as if nothing had happened.

At some point during the adalat task, when she felt like she was not being heard she walked out saying she does not have any input to give. That made Sidharth sit up and take notice that here was a girl who would not be a yes man blindly, she had the audacity to tell him something even if that meant going against the popular opinion. For a Sidharth who was getting irritated with Arti and how she always sidled upto him, this was refreshing and irritating at the same time. She was real enough and yet why was she not just getting alongside him.

Shehnaaz after years of living life on someone else's terms she had decided that she will always go with her gut instinct. In her mind Sidharth and the bond they shared was not part of the game she had decided that he was important enough and had assumed that he knew it. She would play the game entirely on her terms and if she went out of the game because of her own misstep even that was something to be proud about but for the sake of a game she would not attach herself to anyone or go against her instinct and gut and play for the cause of a team.

After the adalat task he noticed that Rashmi and Paras were working overtime to ensure that Shehnaaz did not misunderstand them. Shehnaaz was a clever player, perhaps because of her nature, also the most underrated as well. While she gave everyone a patient listening, she in turn used this opportunity to create a scene between Mahira and Paras the next day. She did this with great aplomb and cheer.

Sidharth on the other hand could not handle it. He felt insecure, what if she believed what they said. What if she went away from him. It did not help matters that Asim was constantly trying to fill his ears about what Sana is doing and how she was not to be trusted. Sidharth's primary struggle with Sana was that he did not want her to misunderstand him. He was also angry with himself that he was not thinking or analyzing Sana from a game perspective when in reality that is the only thing he should be doing. Was he messing his own game up by losing focus? All for what? For a few moments of fun with a crazy unsteady sweet but unpredictable girl? She was not wrong nor had she mislead him! Then why did he end up having expectations.

Shehnaaz too was extremely conflicted! Why did she not like it that Arti was such good friends with Sidharth. Somehow she wanted to be exclusively close to Sidharth! Sometimes when that thought and the discomfort along with it hit hard, would laugh to herself! Sidharth Shukla....she was trying to stake a friendship claim on him? Shehnaaz did not quite like the risk she was exposing herself to. So she too decided to speak to everyone on the house. When it came to the task and the game she would follow her gut and when it came to friendship wasn't it obvious that it was Sidharth all the way?

With the immense conflict that unknowingly came within these two, the night of the adalat task lying next to each other felt so uncomfortable, Shehnaaz who could never hold a grudge with anyone really had no qualms in turning to Sidharth and whisper to him "tu so raha hai?"

Sidharth who had not yet completely gotten a handle on his emotions did not want to engage in a conversation right now replied "sonay ki Koshish kar raha hoon!" And he turned his back to Shehnaaz.

She felt bad!it was only then realized that he had not spoken properly to her the whole evening. If it was not so inappropriate she would have insisted that he speak properly to her. Tonight though she let it go. The next day morning she tried her level best to get him to talk to her and when Sidharth decided to ignore someone he really could. He had a massive aura and when Shehnaaz did not bask in the light of it she felt bereft! She could not hold it any longer and the small snatch of moment she found when Arti was not around she quickly went him and asked him "tu meresay gussa hain?" To which he promptly refused but his "nahi meri jaan" followed by him patting her head reassured that not all is lost. But still things were unresolved.

Sidharth was upset with himself and it was embarrassing that he would allow Shehnaaz to affect him the way she did.
He could not afford for emotions to affect his game and he decided to take a step back from her. To validate and justify this distancing to himself he started discussing her with Asim. In his mind Asim was a good friend but little did he know that not everyone was like him. Sidharth never had to play dirty to win, he always played hard and straight and fair. The irony was that Shehnaaz too never played dirty she play hard straight and fair. Sadly for an Asim who with each passing day the stakes were getting higher and hence creating a rift between Sana and Sidharth was fair game to Asim but sadly for Sidharth it was more than a game with her.

Thus started a conflict between both Sidharth and Shehnaaz that could have been avoided had they spoken to each other frankly but did they themselves know how attached they had gotten to the other?

For both of them what they needed to accomplish in BB was very crucial for their life and career. Little did they anticipate that they would grow attached to someone to such a degree that they could not afford to give a term bigger than friendship but the expectations from each other could not be contained in that term either.

Thank you for stopping by. It was difficult to write this chapter because of the many conflicts that have started to take place within both Sidharth and Shehnaaz. Also want to put it out there that I am not writing this for any commercial gain and that these are just my fictional interpretation of what we saw on the show. It is a fictional representation of characters and personalities and remains only in the realm of fiction and not intended to malign or paint any person in a bad light.