Meant to be

Ch 11 contd...

The next day morning sharp 8 the music blared as always. Shehnaaz rushed to the bathroom area to dance and she was lost in herself when khesari and Vishal joined her. Towards the fag end of the song she found sidharth sitting on the parachute bed, she thought perhaps he was just waiting to use the restroom but was he just sitting there and watching her intently? She chuckled to herself and said the man hardly knew she existed and almost always looked through her. Why would he look at her, he had better and more glamorous girls to look at. She was usually a very confident and self assured girl, but somehow the fact that Sidharth Shukla had thought friendship with her such a non entity in his life, it hurt her. It reminded her of everything the world tried to say she was, it made her forget everything that she has fought and earned with her hard work.

After her morning routine and freshening up she went out to the garden and sat at the floor of the gym, sipping her hot tea and allowing it to calm her, She felt like a poor kid looking in through the glass door, literally the times she saw him laughing and talking to himanshi and shefali she felt so small and insignificant. Suddenly she felt unworthy. That's why she decided that she will wait for a week, she had decided to quit the show, but Salman sir and the makers had sent word through Vishal asking her to wait for one more week and not take an impulsive decision. She also had decided to take a back seat in the game because if she did get eliminated then that saved her a whole lot of money. She sighed deeply, yet another twist, from desperately wanting to stay in the game to now accepting defeat and planning an elimination, boy this house sure was a roller coaster ride.

She was so deep in thought that she did not notice sidharth coming out and sitting bang opposite her on the couch watching her. The rest of the housemates usually went back to catch up on some sleep after the song, so for a little while it was just the two of them outside. For now even this was special, their relationship had gotten very crowded with people who wanted them apart, they each had played into manipulation. They had disappointed each other no doubt but that is what usually happened when you start expecting from a person, instead of that being a sweet development for them they allowed other people to use their vulnerability.

He watched the various emotions going through her face, she had not registered him, he knew he had hurt her very badly, this was him, he hurt the people he loved the most by denying them of him. He knew how to
Inflict that hurt by pulling back. He had the ability to make a person feel so
Insignificant, he had learnt overtime to not do that but something shifted this last week and now he just wanted her back, no matter who sat next to him he always felt bereft of her presence, and the more these girls sidled upTo him, the more they made him realise how they were not Shehnaaz, how they will never measure Upto her personality, spunk and loving nature.

He kept staring at her and she sighed and looked up was
Mildly surprised to find him sitting there and looking deeply at her. Those eyes that showed his vulnerability was back. She scrunched his face thinking she was seeing things because Sidharth was looking at her, like actually seeing her and he was allowing her to see his vulnerability, he allowed his eyes to show it. It felt so familiar and yet the familiarity hurt her. She wanted to protect herself and not get drawn in, she wanted to look away but she could not. After a few minutes of them willing the other person to speak first but not looking away shehnaaz heard some shuffling and saw shefali coming out, and she nestled in close to Sidharth. Shehnaaz could not help smirk through her pain! This was reality idiot! She admonished herself and quickly shuffled back in. Why put herself through torture she thought.

As soon as she left sidharth wanted to run in after her! But that though was interrupted by Shefali who asked him "ab kaisa hai bukhar? You are looking better this morning"

"Yeah the fever has broken. Thankfully. Tell me something who does Shehnaaz talk to nowadays, because I don't see her hanging with Paras also much." He asked Shefali, he thought she being so much older to Shehnaaz will not have much of an issue with her.
"It is very obvious that she misses you! Uska game hee tu hai. But she is also lost actually. Khesari key saath Acha time spend kar thi hai.actually she is looking bored no these days. Theek ho jayegi sar phiri hai lekin her spontaneous sense of humour is amazing." Shefali surmised and before she could complete Sidharth got up, a deep restlessness to be around her. He quickly started to get back inside when he noticed her tea cup that she had left behind. She was not like this, last night her bottle, this morning her cup, she really was out of her comfort zone. He sighed and went over and picked it up, and as he was getting in he saw her rush out and was telling khesari "ek min aati hoon cup reh Gaya bahar! " saying this she run past him. Only to find it missing from where she had kept it. Then she did the most adorable thing she stood rooted to where she was and with this puzzled expression scrunched her nose and started scratching her head trying to remember what she did with her cup. Then she slowly looked up at where sidharth  was sitting and looked at shefali, the. Turned her head and looked at Sidharth and then looked at his hand and saw that he had two cups on his hand, she then slowly looked up at his face to find him look back at her with a smirk on his face but with no other expression. She gulped and slowly walked Upto him not quite knowing what to do, so in a small voice she asked "yeh mera hai shayad? Voh bhool gayi thi," and she started to take the cup from him and all this while she was avoiding looking at him.

It was the first time in days he had a chance to look at her closely and she looked sad and defeated, he wanted to just gather her in his arms and hug it all away. He decided to pull her leg a bit and said in his straight deep voice "haan sab cheezon ko idhar udhar rakho!
Garden ki duty villain ka jo hai, toh cup, bottle sab pada rahey hai na Acha hai Bhai!"

She quickly shook her head and further buried her head into her neck "nahi aap galat soch rahe ho!" Saying she went into the house her heart thudding loudly from standing so close to him, from listening to that deep sexy voice of his and from his fresh masculine fragrance.

The whole day she had her head down because she was trying to fight the urge to just leave everything and go sit next to Sidharth and once again just be lost to themselves. She was reading more into everything. Nothing has changed, he was the same Sidharth who had very clearly during wkv had made it clear that she had no place in his life, she tried very hard to remind herself of that. Sidharth on his part was just watching her and somehow hoped that she would understand that he needed her next to him, he did not care what happened this past week, he did not even know where it went wrong but if getting her back to next to him meant to never find the logic in the situation then so be it. It broke his heart when Shefali came and told him that shehnaaz was afraid of him. Of all the things that he wanted to feel about him, fear was not even on that list. He wanted to be the first person she came to not the first person she ran away from. He felt a small voice ask himself only for the game or for life? Which he brushed aside, there were more important things at hand.

When they were all seated at the living room he made sure he leaned in to her closer than he should and also at one point she was joking a lot with khesari and not paying attention as she should so he leaned over and tugged hard at her hair "moti concentrate Waise bhi samajh Mein toh kuch aata nahin Hain. Listen to shefali." Shehnaaz just sat there frozen, she could not believe he had called her Moti, he had tugged her hair, she buried her emotions into the tea cup and took a big gulp and even though the hot liquid burned her throat she needed the distraction.

Him calling her Moti and pulling her hair was the last straw, she could not spend one more night away from their bed. So she in her cute and natural way did little cute things to show him that she wanted to be back. What she did in silence he heard loud and clear and when all she wanted was a tiny sign of acceptance was met with a loud bold and big action of him pulling her into his arms, kissing her at the sweet spot between her ear and jaw and burying his face in the crook of her neck. This, this is exactly what sidharth and Shehnaaz, were, each overwhelmed the other with how much they needed each other. They were all about those silent fears but bold gestures. Sidharth who never showed his emotions had to bare it all for the sake of this girl who had slowly been chipping at his resolve. Shehnaaz who wanted to protect herself from him found that he was her protection from being defeated and lost. Both of them shed all their pretenses and settled into a sweet cuddle and sleep! They had missed it and it felt like finally they came up for fresh air after being bottled in a hole for a long time.

At some point in the night the entire house was woken up because of some rule that arhaan and khesari had broken...all the lights had come on and while the rest of the house were involved in that sidharth and Shehnaaz looked deeply at each other and sidharth just flicked his head and asked her "kyun bey darti hai tu mujhse? Meinay aisa daraaney wala kya kaam Kiya? Hunh? Bolojee sanababy!" Saying that he lifted his fingers to her face and tucked her hair behind her ears. She was quick to decline and shake her head and said "teko khonay sey darti Hoon. Mein chahthi hoon key jab bhi tu mere aur dekhe tere chehrey par sirf muskurahat honee chahiye aur voh bhi sirf mere liye. Puray haftay sey jab bhi teri nazar mere pey padi munh par itna ghussa ja phir nafrat thi ke mein darr gayi ki bas hamaari The end ho Gaya."
"Acha jee! Nafrat matlab kuch Bhi shehnaaz.darr toh meko lagna chahiye, Kya pata abhi Mein so jaoon aur subah uth Kar dekhoon key tumnay bed shift kar diya ho! Isiliye baby once bitten twice shy, chal give me your hand, aaj toh aisay hee haath pakadkay sona hai. Theek hai! Yehjo sleep walking ki daura padta hai na tumhay baby meko ek din marwadega. So chalo haath pakdo and let do
Some ninj now ok? Hamaarey first ladayi Lo post-mortem kal karenge"Saying that in his sweetest voice both of them settled into much needed rest. After days of going to bed with a yearning for the other finally they were here and together and with a resolve to never allow this dark cloud over them ever again.

Hope I did justice to the iconic patch up day and the night scene. Thank you for stopping by