Meant to be

Ch 8 contd...

The next couple of days were very difficult for both Sidharth and Shehnaaz. In the midst of figuring out what the churn of emotions exactly meant for each of them, the true advantage of the situation was taken by Arti and Asim. Who did not miss a beat to constantly give Sidharth unsolicited opinion about Sana. With all of this he was really conflicted. She too felt like a light had gone off inside of her. She was unable to be her happy self and something that she could not articulate laid heavily within her.

One evening Sidharth internally snapped and he decided that enough was enough, he went looking for Shehnaaz and found her having her dinner in the glass cabin alone. He hesitated a bit because she looked rather lonely but he had decided to get his act and game together so he went in and settled himself on the chair opposite her and told her "acha sun meko kuch baatein  karni thi, is this a good tome?"
Shehnaaz was perturbed and he looked so serious that she was nervous. He was usually so rich with his affection towards her but this, this was new.

Just as Sidharth started to say something Asim too entered the glass cabin and asks what's going on and Shehnaaz out of her nervousness says "lagta aaj meko job sey Nikalnay Wala
Hai! Aha baithi a tu bhi tamasha dekhkle" saying this she scooted onto the step at the door letting Asim sit on the other chair. Sidharth took a deep breath because while everyone saw Sana as a gamer as someone who was here there and everywhere what Sidharth noticed was that this girl had the "tameez" to offer her seat to Asim, this despite the fact she was there first and she was eating. These things came organically to her and it spoke volumes about both the humility and confidence of a person.

Sidharth had decided he would now ignore the tug he felt at his heart strings when it came to this girl. He took a deep breath and in no uncertain terms told Shehnaaz that he found her flippant which in itself was not a wrong thing but it quite did not work out for himself. He also mustered the candor to tell her that she had started affecting him and he did not want to get affected. So he was starting to pull back a little. Sidharth had assumed that once he did this he would feel relatively better and would be able to get on with the game. Quite to the contrary as much as the words were said to convey to Shehnaaz state of his mind, Sidharth found himself not believing even a word of he said. Surely he can't detach himself from her, what was the issue, suddenly he lost his clear thought in the matter. So what if she talks to everyone and specially sidles upto Paras, surely that did not warrant such a serious conversation.

He sighed deeply and gathered the gumption to look at her. Her face was absolutely calm but it was not her natural expression at all, Sidharth noted that all colour has drained from her face but yet she met him in the eye with a strange determination which had equal measures of sadness and fortitude. She smiled back at him and said clinically "tu sahi keh raha hai. Mein na kisi ek camp mein nahi tikh sakti hoon. Mein har situation ko parakhti hoon aur phir apna chaal chalthi hoon. Tu bilkul bhi vaisay nahi hai, tujhe chaiye hotay hain tere apnay bandhey jo end tak tere saath tikhay aur tu bhi unkay liye khada rahega. Tu apni Jagah sahi hai aur mein apni jagah sahi. Tu fikar na kar aaj sey apna apna kehlenge vaisay bhi hamaara toh yahi mulaakaath huyi hai na aur shaayad humnay ab ek dusre ko thoda space dena chahiye." Saying this she squared her shoulders and pocket plate and cup and walked out. Sidharth had to physically hold onto the chair because otherwise he would have pulled her into a not so appropriate hug and tell her to forget any of the rest of it. But it was done and he was a measured composed man, this behavior was out of character entirely.

Shehnaaz on the other had could not believe what just happened. It felt like a slap on her face. It felt like all over again life had decided to relegate her to the "rejected" pile. She entirely understood where Sidharth was coming from but that did not stop her from being consumed by images of how her aunt and a uncle decided that it was not convenient for them to nurture yet another life within their home so relegated her to the unmentioned status of a help and not that of family. While what Sidharth said was above board and quite honorable, he certainly was not obliged to do this to her, it still felt bad and it felt deeply personal. What's worse is he said all
Of this in front of Asim. While this hurt Shehnaaz decided to shake it off because even for her nature it was a tad bit crazy that  two people who met on the show a few days back would be able to affect each other like this. She decided that what he said would serve a better purpose for both of them as well. So instead of dwelling on the painful conversation she was going to renew her game mind and presence back in the game.

The next few days Sidharth lost his groove entirely. The BB food delivery task too started which made it easier for him to brood as he did not have much of a role to play. He just just sat to himself observing the whole house and trying to not notice so closely Shehnaaz, who was everywhere and Paras picked upon their rift and started drawing Shehnaaz into conversations and perhaps in his greed for the game did not realise how desperate and obvious he was being especially to someone like a Sana.

She still tried to talk to Sidharth but being impersonal to him from whom she had drawn so many heart warming moments it was difficult. Without his attention and his pampering and let's admit it without his flirting with her Shehnaaz would just unspool, this was obvious for everyone. But little did they know that Sidharth was equally uncomfortable. Especially because as Paras was to Shehnaaz, Arti came and tried to draw him into conversations which did not hold his attention especially when Shehnaaz was not there to look after his inner happiness.

At the end of the first day of the BB delivery task just as they were getting into bed Sidharth could not help himself he asked her in hushed tones "kaisay Gaya din? Tu thik  hai?" Saying this he gave her an honest expression and looked into her eyes pleading for her to
Know that without her camaraderie things just did not feel right. Shehnaaz while did not know what his thoughts were decided that instead of wincing in emotional pain it was best to be honest about her emotions, he was a safe person to be honest with . She covered herself with a blanket and said "theek tho nahin hoon, tunay kal raat jo bola, bura laga! Yeh Teri problem nahi hai. Meri problem hain. Tunay ek bola mujhe dus sunaai di, past present and all together milkshake!" She said this and covered her awkwardness in a laugh and continued. "Koi naa theek ho jaungi, lekin tere saath masti karay bina bore ho Kay shayad idhar hi dhafna dhe BB" saying this she looked expectantly at Sidharth hoping he would get what she was hinting at.
Sidharth felt like he came up for air after being inside  water for the longest timer. He smiled and resoonded
"Acha masti master, chal kal sey masti Vaapas lekin...." and before Sidharth could finish this his sentence Shehnaaz quickly interjected "lekin no expectations masti without expectations!" And she put out her hand for a high five, which Sidharth gladly responded and cursed himself as he continued to hold her hand and caress her thumb over her hand as he finished the five! Sigh this was going to be more difficult that he thought but decided he was being unreasonable and looked quite petty asking her to speak to only those he likes!
Both of them heaved a sigh of relief because as much as a truce could be made it was made at this moment. Now they need not dread getting through the day without having access to each other.

Thank you for stopping by. Again entirely work
Of fiction and not the best one at that. So no intention to malign or defame anyone in the realm of the real world.