FEELINGS | Dream & Georgenotfound

Conflicted

Clay slowly opened his eyes. Rays of sunshine leaked and scattered across his room though the cracks of the curtains. He rolled over to his side, hugging his pillow. This was a new habit he developed, not being able to sleep without snuggling with a pillow all night. He slowly recalled his dream during his sleep.

Not to his surprise, it was about George. He had taken him to out to eat, then to the beach to watch the sun lower beyond the far horizon. Beautiful colors of oranges, reds and pinks filled the sky. He looked at George, George looking back at him with those dark beading eyes. Clay shortens the distance between them, slowly but surely pressing his lips against his, which he accepts and deepens the kiss. It was everything Clay could've asked for.

He realizes how cliché and corny it was. The beach? The sunset, really? How unoriginal. He grabs his pillow and smothers his face in it, just trying to forget that he even dreamt that in the first place.

Whatever, it doesn't even mean anything, it's just a stupid dream, he kept telling himself.

He finally got up, stretching to make sure to get all of those knots are out of his back, especially streaming all of his speed runs last night on twitch. He made his way downstairs to the kitchen to fix himself some breakfast. Clay takes out his phone to check if anything happened last night, as usual; nothing new. Although it was 8:42 AM, he woke up earlier than usual.

Making his way to the fridge, he pulled out the ingredients to make an omelette. Eggs, oil, veggies, the essentials really. He took out a pan and placed it on top of the stove. The clicking and hissing of the gas oven turning on surprised him a little, since he hasn't had a lot time to cook for himself recently. As he's cooking his omelette he looks around his apartment.

He has so much he could ask for. A two story apartment, classy modern furniture, and he definitely isn't short on money either. Yet as he looks around, he feels a sense of emptiness inside himself. This emptiness is a dark abyss that's constantly threatening to consume him, it was hungry to consume him and nothing else. It's cruel nature made it way too easy to enter, but nearly impossible to escape. He let out a tired sigh.

Trying to get away from his thoughts, he chows down on his food, surprisingly it came out better than he had expected, at least that's one good thing. Now, what to do? He tries to remember if he had anything important to do. Clay loves to go by the saying: "If you forget something that's important, than it's not important." While pondering, he realizes something.

Shit, George's video!

He throws the dishes into the sink and runs his way up the stairs, nearly tripping on his way up to his room. He quickly turns on his computer and finds the video. He was way too distracted by George yesterday that he lost track of literally everything else. How can he be anymore stupid? He can't stop thinking about he fact that he probably pissed George off, he can't even watch a video and give his friend feedback. How could be mess up like this?

So fucking stupid, can't even watch a video.

He puts aside his thoughts to focus on the task at hand. As he's watching, he can't stop gushing over the sound of George's voice. The way he pronounced his words, his adoring accent. It made his heart so happy. He wore a big smile during the whole video. The video was silly too, it was a video with Sapnap trying to beat minecraft with each jump increasing in height. Clay let out a chuckle every time George whined. As the video ended, he decided to text George. He felt bad that it took him so long to actually do what George asked him to do. Should he apologize? Or is that being dramatic? Clay looked at the screen fiddling with his thumbs wondering what to say.

After contemplating on wether he should apologize or not, he realized how ridiculous he's being and just typed out a response.

Clay