FEELINGS | Dream & Georgenotfound

Desire

Clay got up and ran towards George, pulling him in for a tight hug. George wrapped his arms around Clay surprised.

Everything felt surreal. The man that he has been over thinking about, crying over, the one he is in love with is finally in his arms. The feeling of George's chest against his, his arms wrapped around his body was electrifying. Never in his life has he ever felt so alive. This exact moment in time hasn't even set in his head yet. Every bit of nerves he felt before has melted away, Clay felt weirdly comfortable in George's arms; almost as if he belongs there. He wanted to hold George for the rest of time, this moment needed to last forever. But a couple seconds went by before George let go. Clay hesitantly let go after George did. It was painful, but necessary, he didn't want to make things weird. Especially in front of everyone.

"George! It's so nice to finally see you!" He couldn't hide the excitement in his voice. He looked into his eyes. George looked even more beautiful in person, his smile was absolutely captivating. 

"It's nice to see you too! It's been too long." George laughed. George's eyes left Clay's gaze, moving to Zak and Nick's friends. Clay watched as George walked over to greet everyone else and exchange hugs. Everything about him was perfect. Clay looked at him in awe. It all still felt surreal, this must be a dream.

I can't believe this is happening, act cool.

He took a deep breath. He needed to relax, Clay looked down and noticed he was still jittery, his hands slightly shaking from all the excitement. He didn't know what was going to happen next. He just waited until everyone finished greeting each other.

"This place is sweet." George's voice was even cuter in person, it made his body tingle, it was music to his ears. Nick proceeded to show George all the areas to the house. Clay didn't take his eyes of George the entire time.

"Guys! Everyone gather up, let's take a pic." Nick suggested.

"I get to be in the middle!" Darryl demanded.

"Clay, let's use your phone." Clay agreed and placed his phone on the counter.

He quickly realized, "Wait uh, I need to cover my face with something."

"Ugh! Just use your hands silly boy!" Nick yelled.

"Ha, okay. Everyone get ready. There's ten seconds on the clock." Everyone got into their positions. Clay set the timer and ran besides George. He looked down and playfully covered his face with both of his hands. He heard the timer tick down, and at the last second he felt George wrap his arm around his neck and brought him closer to the side of his body.

What?

The clicking of the phone went off, taking a picture.

What just happened?

"Yay, alright guys it's really late, I'm really tired." Darryl whined.

Nick yawned, "Yeah, me too." Everyone said goodnight and headed off into their rooms. Clay and George were the last ones standing in the living room. Clay had to break the silence.

"Oh uh, George your room is upstairs, I can help you bring your stuff upstairs."

George looked back at him, "Oh yeah sure, I'm so tired." Clay walked over to the entrance to grab his bag that was left on the floor, George took the other. They made their way upstairs until Clay realized he forgot his phone on the counter, "Oh, my phone!" He ran back, grabbed it, and returned to the staircase. They made it to the doors that faced each other.

"Here, your room is on the right." He opened the door, letting George in first. They walked in and George flopped onto the bed. Clay chuckled.

"Tired much?" He poked fun at George, trying to cover up the shakiness in his voice.

"Oh my goodness, yes."

"How was your flight?" That was something Clay was genuinely wondering throughout the entire day.

"Ugh, it could've been so much better," there was a slight pause, "the plane was really bumpy the entire time so I didn't get any sleep. Oh, and there was so much turbulence." George sounded really bothered. He wanted to comfort him, but honestly, George was probably just tired.

"Dang, that sucks. Planes freak me out sometimes, that's why I try to avoid them." George let out a small laugh.

"So, do you need help with anything, or?" He tired to make an excuse just to spend more time with him.

"Uhh, no I think I'm good actually, thanks though."

"Okay then, goodnight." Clay turned around to leave the room.

"Hey Clay," he stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly turned around, facing George.

"Yeah?" he felt his body heating up.

"I just wanna say thank you again, for helping me pay for everything, and my ticket, that was nice of you, you really didn't have to do that."

"Oh, no problem. Don't worry about it. And hey, I'm really glad you were able to make it. It makes me really happy that everyone is finally together." Clay nervously smiled.

"Yeah definitely. Like honestly, it's so strange finally seeing everyone in person, it's so much different than calling." Both of them laughed.

Clay couldn't have agreed more, "Oh my gosh! That's exactly how I feel." George smiled then yawned.

"Well I guess it's getting kinda late now, see you in the morning?" George sounded exhausted.

"Yeah of course! Well, goodnight then, sleep well."

"Goodnight."

Clay turned around to leave the room, he softly closed the door behind him. He stood in front of the door for a couple of seconds, letting out a deep sigh.

Holy shit.

He entered his room and sat down on the bed. This couldn't be real life, this has to be some kind of dream, and he was still waiting to wake up. He took of his clothes and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste. Walking into the bathroom, he began brushing his teeth, looking into the mirror. His head was empty, but felt heavy. He really met George. They touched, he literally just had a conversation with him. He experienced the very same thing he was absolutely terrified to deal with just a week ago. Clay didn't know whether to throw up in the sink or feel proud. After brushing for a minute, he spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth. He was too lazy to shower, he decided he'll shower in the morning.

Clay looked outside the window, it was pitch black. The only thing illuminating the water was the bright moon. The light danced on the soft waves, creating a mesmerizing visual. He shut the curtains but left a small opening to let some moonlight through. He turned off all the lights and climbed under the blankets. Nothing felt real at this point, George was only some feet away from him. It was torture, but comforting at the same time. Clay tried to deny it, but his love for George grew more and more everyday like a plant sitting under the sun. He wished he could get up, walk into George's room and pour his entire heart onto him. But, that wasn't realistic. They were just friends. Clay grabbed a pillow and brought it to his chest. He needed George by him. It's the only thing he needed in his life. There wasn't anything he could do to change that. Clay has to sit there and watch George live his life while being just, friends.

This was the sick game of life. Whenever he tried to play, he feels like he's constantly losing. His throat started swelling up. No matter how hard he would try to tell George that he loves him, it wouldn't work, nothing would work. Clay looked out the window, the moonlight light up a streak of his face. He couldn't fight it anymore. Tears silently fell down his face, onto the bed.

Please George, I love you.