Rental Boyfriend [NAMJIN]

Chapter 22: Blurred

Seokjin and Namjoon's smiles were wide, their eyes held love for only each other. Their coffees in one hand and the other's hand in the other. A beautiful view into the street and a beautiful man by his side. A handsome face and a gorgeous smile. Humorous quips and caring affection. However, that was now a mere memory. That was now a photo in his mind that would eventually be cycled out by yet a different picture. It wasn't meant to be significant, it was meant to be a part of a collection, yet all of them were significant to him. He wasn't sure whether that was because of the way he paid attention to detail or because of Seokjin, but either way he didn't want to know.

Sometimes, Namjoon wished he was oblivious. Sometimes he desired the blur between knowing and not quite knowing that the strangers around him seemed to have. He wanted to switch to incognito, he wanted to be unknowing. But he wasn't, and over time he had come to accept that. Moments like these were moments in which he wished for obliviousness again, despite knowing it will never come true. Namjoon was smarter than most, both emotionally and academically, he knew sorrow wouldn't come easy when he knew exactly what the feeling was.

Namjoon scrolled through the texts on his phone that were exchanged between him and Seokjin, they didn't use text often, which made it all that more precious. The memories held in those texts were sacred, they were only joyous. But now? They connotated feelings of sadness, feelings of disbelief. Disbelief that he had ever been that happy, disbelief that he had ever let someone comfort him to that extent.

"You were once a precious memory, but now you gather dust on a table of heartbreak." Namjoon whispered, tears filling his eyes as he scrolled further, disbelieving of just how happy he had become.

"However, just because something is gathering dust does not mean that its significance is small." The tears then freely fell from his eyes, three days' worth of sorrow finally crashed down onto him. Three days, seventy-two hours, four thousand three hundred and twenty minutes, yet as the clock ticked by at the start of a new minute, hour or day, each felt like their own personal hell. Each had something different about them, whether that may be a different thought or different memory. Either way they still held the same emotion, though varying in presentation.

Namjoon sobbed freely and brought the tissue to his cheek, as that was all he had to bring him some form of comfort. The tears caught onto the pillow soft surface and soaked it, Namjoon throwing it away without a care and sobbing harder. The emotions twisted themselves within him then broke loose, sending a pang to his heart even more painful than the last.

"Why do I still love him? He chose them, over me. Why?" Namjoon cried into his pillow, his words only striking him harder every single time.

Whilst crying into the pillow, in the middle of the afternoon, it hit him. The epiphany (though not exactly bright) had slapped him so hard, just as reality had long ago.

He was alone, he was so alone. With Jimin off limits, and Seokjin gone, Namjoon was alone. It was then that he gave up hope of Seokjin being a dream, because he was real. It just hadn't worked out as expected, was all. He was fallen, not sky high. Not something he could never hope to achieve.

"I can't- I can't do this without him." Namjoon gasped, taking his head away from the pillow and inhaling the air above almost greedily. His need for oxygen outweighed the need for tears, so, for a few moments, he allowed himself to breathe. "I can't do any of this without him."

--

"Jungkook." Jimin started pleadingly, his eyes shining with sincerity. "My Dad's really hurting, you saw how happy him and Seokjin were. Please, help me come up with a plan to save them! I know that we shouldn't get involved, but he needs this! He's really miserable, and I have to do this. I can't do it without you. He's given up everything for me, it's only fair I give up something for him." Jungkook sighed over the screen and nodded shyly, cheeks turning slightly pink. He was quite obviously whipped and ready to do anything for Jimin. Anything. Including a plan that would most likely fail.

"Alright, what do you have so far?" Jimin pulled a notebook from his desk and opened to a half-filled page, dot points littering the filled half. He smiled apologetically before looking down, beginning to read aloud.

"First, attempt to comfort Dad and just tell him to move on so he can have a better life." Jungkook frowned at that, scrunching his nose and shaking his head.

"That's like giving up, don't do that." Jimin almost giggled at the expression on Jungkook's face, he looked like a kicked puppy almost. Or rather, a kicked bunny.

"Right, I probably shouldn't. Second, talk to Seokjin and force him to get his shit together." Jungkook's expression brightened at that, Jimin's cheeks darkening ever so slightly.

"Hmmm, tempting. What are the others?"

"The one thing I don't want is for my dad to make the first move. For one, he is way too mentally unstable to do that and second, he was the one who was broken up with, not Seokjin. Seokjin's the coward that needs to get his shit together, he can do the work." Jungkook nodded quietly, thinking as to what to say next.

'I'm way too invested in this, it's his Dad's relationship for god's sake! But... I want Jimin to be happy, and if that's how, then so be it.'

"Option 2 then?" Jimin perked up at that, Jungkook silently taking a screenshot and saving it to his collection of Jimin photos.

"That's right. Also, should I yell at Seokjin's boss for breaking them up? I want to." Jungkook nodded excitedly, giving Jimin his honey sweet bunny smile.

"You should. You get to see Taehyung and Yoongi too, tell them I said hi." Jimin agreed enthusiastically, the two suddenly a lot hyper.

"If they're there then I definitely will." Jungkook sighed when he heard the front door slam, looking to the door then back to Jimin with tired eyes.

"Listen, I'll call you back, alright? My Dad's back, you know what that's like." Jimin sighed sadly and nodded, waving shyly to Jungkook.

"Love you, come out of there alive." Jungkook chuckled gently, a soft look in his eyes.

"Jungkook!" A yell from downstairs called, Jimin hearing it through the other side of the call and wincing gently. Jungkook grimaced and looked to the door, then back to Jimin once more, contemplating between leaving and staying. He finally decided to leave, but not without smiling one last time.

"Love you too Jiminie, good luck with your dad." He then hung up, Jimin looking at his phone with clouded, fond eyes. He set it aside to the bedside table, closing his eyes and laying on the sheets beneath him with motivation seeping through him. 'I have to do this, for my dad, my 'father' and me. Dad has done so much for me, he raised me on his own, and he didn't raise someone who gives up, no, no, no. I will try my hardest to help him, and I hope that I will succeed. But with Jungkook by my side, I can do anything I want to do. With Jungkook with me, I'm unstoppable.'   

Author's Note: We only have a few chapters left until this story is finished, it makes me so sad just thinking about it. The time that was spent reading the comments on this story and the few people that loved it made me so happy, but I have other projects to move onto.