The Youngest Blade 🔪

Chapter 40 ( Broken Mask)

Anastasia Rosaline Blade's POV

Tears dripped from my eyes, dropping onto my knees.

It was getting hard to breathe.

All of the memories of John was popping in my head.

I wanted to scream and shout but I could feel all the eyes of my brothers looking at me.

Control your breathing. Count to 10, I said to myself in my head.

My brothers were just staring at me and made no move to talk to me.

I think all of them were shocked from my outburst.

I wasn't going to forgive them until I found out how they knew about John and if they apologise properly.

I slowly stood up, my ribs still aching slightly from running away from Xander.

"Im going to my room. Don't bother coming there, unless you want to tell me the truth. Whatever punishment you want to give me, I will do them later" I said nonchalantly to my brothers and walked to the exit of the kitchen.

With my back facing them, "thank you making me realise that I should not trust you guys"I said,walking to my room.

When I reached the room, I accidentally slammed my room door.

"Sorry door. Didn't mean to talk my anger out on you" I said patting my door.

I took Coco and squeeze the life out of him.

I was feeling really angry, sad but mostly disappointed.

I was trying my level best to trust them but here they are breaking my trust.

Even though they knew what I have been through with my stepdad and my trust issues, they decided it would be a great idea to dig into my past, instead of waiting for me to tell them.

And the gun? The men in all black walking around this house? No going to the basement and third floor.

Roman having a gun. Did they really think I was that dumb? Oh please, after what I have been through I have always been alert and aware. My body is trained  to look out for danger, keeping me alert always to protect myself.

I was squeezed Coco really hard when I felt it. The knife.

The temptation to cut was surfacing. The release I needed. I wanted to feel it. I wanted to turn all of my mental pain into physical pain.

Because, physically I can heal. Im too dead to even try to heal mentally. The scars and battles I have faced mentally are engraved in me. It will forever be there.

I went to my toilet and pulled down my pants.

Thankfully, they had fixed the toilet door, although now I noticed that the material used for the door was more hollow.

Easier to break.

I rolled my eyes at that. Clearly they didn't trust me.

However I couldn't find it in me to care. For me, it was simple. They didn't trust me and I didn't trust them.

They just provide for me because I am their blood.

We have nothing in common except our parents.

Once Im 18, I will be gone.

Even if I struggle financially, I will get out of here.

I deserve peace, I deserve a chance at life.

After all I have been through, I deserve happiness.

I will not get happiness here.

Just a few years Anastasia. You will out of here, I said to myself.