How too love again?

Is it the end? part-2

"Bache tum usko apne aap pr vaps trust krwaogi ok? Or yeh easy nhi hogaa"

She nods. "I know."

"So abhi tum New York jaao. Sb figure out kro ki tumko kyaa chahiye. Apna dhayan rkho. Hume nhi pata na ki future me kyaa hona hai."

"Meko Sidharth ke bina future nhi chahiye."

"Bache yeh phele sochna chahiye tha na." Rita aunty stands up, offering a hand and then hugging her. "College jaao abhi bache main tumse baad me milti hun."

*Flashback*

" You lied to me." Sidharth breathes out.

"All this fucking time. I was really right. You were just waiting for him..." He takes a step back, away from her.

"No, no, no, baby it was a mistake, a dumb mistake. We got caught up in the memories-"

"You got caught up?! Is that what you do, you get caught up and you kiss people?!" He laughs bitterly. "I've loved you all my life and you promised me I was it. And yet, my worst nightmare is happening. The one thing that could actually destroy us. Fucking Asim, because of course, of course! Of course it's him. It'll always be him. No matter what. No matter what I do, I'm always the second choice. You made me an option!!"

"Sidharth yeh sach nhi hai!! Hum baat kr skte hai ok? Hum yeh solve kr skte hai. You and me, together-"

She reaches for him, he pushes her away backed against the wall. "No."

"Sidharth please ruk jaa please! Meko pata nhi tha main kya kr rhi hu yeh just meri ek fantasy thi bachpan se. Sidharth meko sirf tu chahiye or koee be nhi." Her hands are on his cheeks and he looks so broken. Her Sidharth looks so broken and it's all her fault. The pain in his eyes, she can feel it In her heart. "You're the one I want, okay? It's you. It's always been you. It'll always be you." She whispers desperately and he turns his head away, crying.

"I'm sleeping in the basement. You do whatever you want, Sana. Stay here. Go to Asim. I don't care. I can't do this." He moves past her, rushing out of the house and all she can do is sob. It's like someone is physically crushing her heart in her chest. And she can't possibly fathom how she's supposed to live without him. But she guesses this is it and that she'll have to.

*Flashback ends*

*Few weeks later*

She eats her lunch alone. Even though eating is a bit of a hard task anyway. She hasn't had any apetite in a while and she figures that until she can somehow numb the pain in her heart, she won't look like a put together Shehnaaz Gill, all paired up with her staight hair. This is her now, broken, ruined with no hope. She hasn't actually seen Sidharth except in class and it destroys her, seeing him, the way he sits the furthest away from her that he can. He hasn't shaved, she notices and it just hurts, it hurts so much. She's lost count of the amount of times she's rushed to the bathroom just to cry.

Shefali doesn't spare a glance at her. And Asim's too ashamed to say a word, so she's alone. And she feels alone. It feels worse than anything she's felt.

And then she's walking in the corridor. She hears her name being called. She turns around too see Sidharth.

"Can we talk?" Sidharth questions.

"Yeah." She nods as he walks with her.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Maine bhot socha ki tumse baat krun kyuki tumse baat kiye bina lag rhaa hai ki maine saalo se tumse baat nhi ki hai." He hasn't looked into her eyes yet, looking anywhere but the eyes he fell in love with. "You hurt me. And meko nhi lagta voh main itna jldi bhula paunga. Tumare bina kaafi time ho gaya hai and I hate it. I really fucking hate it but jbhi me main tumko dekhta hu. I feel betrayed. It's making me question every moment in our relationship. You're the person I trusted most. I trusted you with my life. And I don't know if I'll ever trust you again."

She nods, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I understand."

"I need time. Meko nhi pata ki main kitna time mang rha hu. But I need time and I need distance. So, I just wanted to tell you that, ki graduate hone ke baad main 1 year ka gap le rha hu. Meko nhi pata main kaha jaaunga, bas yaha se dur jaana chata hu." He shrugs.

"That's good, Sidharth. I'm proud of you." She tries to smile. "Main be jaa rhi hu. New York. Jabhi hum graduate honge."

"Okay." He says quietly and then he walk away and leave but turns around. "I know you regret it. I do. I just...can't do this. Meko be apne heart ko bachana hai na." He chokes out a painful laugh. "Goodbye, Shehnaaz Gill."

"Sidharth?" She calls out. And he turns around. "Nothing was a lie. Samjaa tu? Meko pata h tu meko trust nhi krta but meko yeh bolna hai ok? Tu kbhi be option nhi tha. Tu humesha se mera tha or mera hi rhega. Teko main deserve nhi krti hu. Tu bhot acha hai Sidharth. But I love you, or maine kbhi be usse pyaar nhi kiya. Main kar be nhi skti. Kyuki mera dil toh tere pass hai. Voh toh humesha se tere pass hi tha. I will always and forever love you." She wipes away the tears that just keep on coming when he starts crying.

He nods his head. "I love you too, Shehnaaz." And then he leaves, leaving her alone again.

Two weeks later, she's leaving, getting everything into her car, the one her mother let her keep. She hugs her at the front door, doesn't say anything else before returning back inside. Rita aunty waves from the window with a soft smile on her face and it makes her feel a little brighter.

"Shehnaaz!"

She doesn't want to believe it's him that is really calling out her name but when she turns around , there he is, standing in the middle of the road, S T-shirt, flannel over it, looking every bit like the boy that climbed through her window.