Rebellious Raven

18.

I closed my eyes. Letting the question rattle around in my brain. It was on repeat as I stared into space.

What hadn't happened? There was so much, too much. Where would I even start?

"You may want to sit down." I sighed nervously. My hands began to shake. I don't know if I couldn't do this.

The boys all took a seat. Ryan was on one side of me with Daniel on the other. Daniel held my hand. I needed him here. He was the only one who ever knew what I was going through. When he left, it got really bad.

Dad sat in the creaky, wooden hospital chair. The other boys sat on the floor.

"I'm not sure where to start." I say quietly. I was never this quiet. I was really nervous and scared. They would change the way they looked at me. It might turn into disgust. I don't know.

"It's okay. You can start from anywhere you like. The beginning sometimes helps." Ryan said next to me in a comforting manner.

Ryan was always understanding and kind. He knew me the best and I had barely opened up to him. I knew that we were going to be inseparable.

I nodded at him, taking a deep breath.

"Well the beginning would be best. It all started with mom and I. We lived in the same house all my life. Well that I remember at least, I obviously don't remember everything since I only get flashbacks from time to time about you guys. I once found a picture of all of us in a drawer. Mom refused to tell me anything about who you were.

She was once kind and loving. She loved music and the sunrise. We would sit outside and watch it together." I fiddled with my blanket as I continued. 

"She would wake up every morning just to see it. She would tell me that it was the best way to start the day. She truly believed that the sunrise had powers to make everyday a great day. That was when things were good.

I had begun to notice her changing. She would be a lot snappier and yell. Then she started coming home later without warning me.

She spent less and less time with me. This went on for months until she came home drunk one night. She was angry and smelled of booze. She got mad at me because the house wasn't clean. She slapped me before falling asleep on the couch.

I was stunned that my own mother would slap me, but that was only the beginning." I looked down at my hands.

My brothers and father looked angry. They were livid.

"She began to come home drunk every night, sometimes on drugs. She was never sober. She became more violent. It got worse, from slaps, to punches, to kicking, to throwing things. It has even gotten to the point of knifes and stabbing me. Sometimes even bringing men.

Every day after school I would go home and have 15 minutes to make dinner for her. I wasn't allowed to eat or drink. Even if I did everything right she would still yell at me and call me names. She didn't care what she said to me. She would constantly remind me that i'm a disappointment and didn't deserve to live.

It was never ending. Then when I went to school I would constantly be in fights. People would test my patience. Daniel over here taught me a few moves" I lay my head on his shoulder.

"I was lucky to be winning them with the state of my body. People in school always had to be in everyone else's business. Once she stabbed me to the point I had to go to the hospital. She told them a knife was in the counter facing me and backed up into it by accident. I really don't know how they believed that. She literally made it up in 2 minutes and threatened me if I told." I laughed bitterly.

"Raven is there anything more?" My father asked as he turned his head from where he looked out the window a moment ago. He watched me with a look of sadness. He knew that I wasn't telling them everything.

I looked away as tears pooled in my eyes. Daniel squeezed my hand for comfort. This is the worst part. My words got choked up in my throat.

"Raven please. I know there must be more." He pleaded. He only had worry in his eyes.

I didn't look at them as the tears begun to fall. "The men she had over, weren't for her. She was being paid every time they came over. I was the one suffering, she just got a load of cash out of it." I avoided what they had done.

"Raven did they?" Ryan asked from next to me. He was asking what I was trying to avoid and get out of my mind for years.

I nodded, closing my eyes as the tears fell.

I heard a loud bang. I quickly opened my eyes, flinching.

Will had his hand through the wall. He was cursing and pacing.

My dad looked distraught and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling on it.

The rest of my brothers sat frozen. Ryan gad tears in his eyes.

Daniel and I still hold hands. His hand was the only thing keeping me grounded.

"That's what your painting was?" Logan asked, putting the pieces together.

"What painting?" Eli asked.

"In school she painted this amazing painting and it's in the hallway being showcased. Here I took a picture to show you guys." Logan then passed his phone.

They all looked. The shock and amazement shone in their eyes.

"Raven I'm sorry" My dad whispered.

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