World's apart (Thorin Oakenshield fanfic)

Chapter 17. For your own protection

'You didn't have to send her away...' you speak softly as you lay on the bed. Thorin sits next to you, holding your hand tightly in his. He has been brooding ever since Dwalin and Kim left his Company. You had asked the other dwarves to leave the room and they had listened to you. Balin had already left, going after his brother to hopefully change his mind. Thorin slowly shook his head. 'There was no other way' he said, his eyes fixed on an empty space on the wall. 'But she apologized, and I'm sure she didn't mean for this to happen Thorin. It was all an accident and...' 'An accident that almost took your life' Thorin interrupted, levelling his eyes with yours. 'It was my job as your suitor to protect you.

And I failed' he said, getting up from the chair. He turned around, away from you, and crossed his arms. 'This should have never happened. If I had protected you, if I would have stayed focused on you instead of those orc's....' he said, his voice getting thicker. Carefully you tried to sit up in bed, but your wounds still hurt you too much. A low moan escaped your mouth when your body complaint about movement and Thorin was back by your side, supporting you under your arm. 'You are not to blame for this, no one is. You protected me the best way you could at that moment, we were trapped and only Azog knew what his plans was. So stop blaming yourself for things that aren't your fault' you said as he helped you to sit up.

He sat down on the bed and cupped your cheek. 'Those are nice words, and I'm thankful for them, but I had to protect you. I have failed you...' 'No, you haven't. Stop being so stubborn and just accept that no one else but you is blaming you for this' you hissed back through the pain. Thorin's expression turned sad and he looked down at the cover of the bed. 'My Company does blame me for this, they just don't say it out loud since I'm their leader. In dwarf courting the suitor is responsible for protecting his consort, if he fails to do so... there is no one else to blame for this but me (y/n)' he spoke. You really wanted to roll your eyes at this, but you tried to hide your annoyance from him.

'If they are all blaming you for this, then why were they all mad at Kim?' you asked. Thorin looked back up at you, a frown on his face. 'Because we wouldn't have been trapped by orc's if she hadn't ran away. But it was my duty to protect you out there, and I failed to do so' Thorin explained. Now you didn't hide your frustration anymore and sighed deeply. Slowly you leaned forward to cup his face. Thorin understood what you were doing and leant in, so that you wouldn't have to go through too much pain to touch him. 'You are awfully stubborn, do you know that?' you asked jokingly. He smiled a small smile at you.

'You haven't failed me, you truly haven't. Please stop blaming yourself since I'm not blaming you for this. You tried your best to come closer to me when the orc's surrounded us. But they had a plan and we didn't know what that was until it was too late. And Kim didn't know that this would happen. You have to understand that this world is overwhelming when you are used to another world. Especially when you find the One you love and you are not sure if he is real or just a dream' you explained and watched as Thorin's smile slowly disappeared. 'Is that why she declined Dwalin's courtship?' he asked in his normal, gruff voice.

'Don't get angry again. Can we just leave this all behind us and decide when we'll move on?' you asked, trying to get Thorin to think about an other subject. He took hold of your free hand and squeezed it gently. 'Balin and I have already talked about this. The Company will leave in two suns from now.' You nodded. 'I think I will feel better by then.' But Thorin shook his head and looked at you with a stern face. 'You are not coming with us, âzyungal' he spoke, preparing himself for the outburst that would come. Your face turned sour and you let your hand fall from his face. 'Pardon me?' you asked angrily. 'I think I misunderstood you. You won't leave me here alone, right?'

Thorin shifted back on the bed, out of your reach. 'Of course I won't leave you here with those tre...' 'Don't call them that!' you warned. '...with those elves. Gandalf offered to take you back to your world for a while. You can heal there and come back when I've reclaimed my Kingdom.' Your mouth dropped and you just stared at Thorin. 'What?' Thorin sighed. 'I wasn't too happy about it either, but it will be more safe for you. But then Gandalf told me the medical care in your world is better then it is here, I only want you to get well my love.' You couldn't believe your ears. 'So you're just going to let me go then?' you asked in disbelief. Thorin nodded hesitantly.