ABDALLAH

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"I met the princess of Bahrain but Allah knows I can't marry her. She's pretty Masha Allah and calm but I cannot be with someone that doesn't pray regularly. She's different from all the women I  met and she's a good person but dad she's not my type. I am sorry." I shrugged. Dad rose from his seat and shouted "Then what is your type? Which princess do you want Abdallah? All the beautiful princesses in Gulf are interested but all you do is bring out their faults. Nobody is perfect. We all have faults. You too have flaws. Tell me. Which type of girl do you want?" mum was almost in tears and she told me to talk. "Must I marry a princess?" Dad's eyes almost fell on the floor. "She's not going to rule. I am going to. InshaAllah. So why must my wife be a princess? Dad all your choices have things I can't deal with. It's the matter of deen(faith), I want to raise my kids on the basis of the Shari'ah (Islamic law) and the sunnah(teachings) of our beloved Prophet(saw). I need a religious woman to support me. I can't do it alone dad. I cannot marry a wife that doesn't care about halal and haram and expect my kids to be the way I want them." my eyes were heavy with tears. Dad calmed down and said "Only Allah guides our kids. No matter how wise we are things can go out of hand. Marry a woman even if she is not religious, you can change her." he insinuated "We cannot yes, but Allah said when we help ourselves, He helps us. A person cannot change anybody that is not willing to. I don't want to marry and regret my choice. If I marry a religious woman and God forbids she changes after marriage, I know I have tried and it's a test. But I cannot marry someone that doesn't care about salah(prayer) and expect her to change. I am weak dad; in my deen(faith). I need someone stronger in the deen than me, not someone lower. It's a risk I cannot take. Some of them do not even cover!" I raised my voice. "What if there is no princess like that, are you going to stay single forever? Some of your sisters don't cover, you didn't cut off your relationship with them" he's mad again "I don't NEED a princess dad!" I shouted and mum rose from her seat "I just need a partner that would support me in anyway. My sisters are not my life partners. They are family and may Allah guide them. You know I did all I could to see that they do the right things but they refused. So I stopped. I cannot do that with my wife. So it is better I don't even try tying the knot with someone like my sisters." I looked at him in the eyes. He slapped me and mum screamed. "Though you think your sisters are bad, they are happily married with kids. While you are single, miserable and old, when I was your age, I already had two children, and if you keep this attitude you are going to be miserable forever!" He spat. That was when mum decided to grab my hand and talk "Astagfirullahhhh (may Allah forgive)! He's your son Ibrahim do not say such words..." she didn't finish talking when I snatched my hand from her and left. I knew whatever she was going to say would be annoying and wouldn't make sense.
I called Imran on the way but didn't get him. I drove to his house angrily and met her at the gate. My eyes were red and I was losing my breaths. We almost hit our heads, she said salaam but I couldn't answer. I just stood and looked. I was blocking her way and didn't move and she didn't tell me to. When she saw my condition she reduced her gaze and she became sad just like me. That was when tears rolled down my cheeks. I used my hand to clean the tears but she saw them already.
"I'm sorry" she said
"For what?" I replied
"For everything"
"It's not your fault"
"I'm sorry for seeing those tears and pain"
I looked away and she added "Imran is with his grandmother" and left.
I met Imran and explained. I told him I was going to leave the country for at least a year or never come back. "I can't do this anymore Imran. The living with family and pretending like everything is alright sucks. I wanna keep the crown and leave. After all nobody cares. They are not even going to call me back, trust me." I cried "Abdul we don't run away from responsibilities and fitnas(trials), we face them, with sabr(patience) and prayer. They are family, Allah chose them for us. And Allah use them to test our Iman(faith) sometimes. Remember what Allah says "Do the people think that they will be left to say, "we believe" and they will not be tried. (Chapter 29:2)" Allah is testing you Abdallah. Do not fail the test. Win it! It is very difficult but you can do it. Abdul I am afraid of this your behaviour of leaving whenever something bad happens. These are your parents. What about when you get married? Are you going to leave your spouse and kids when you fight? No! you are going to face everything with patience and solve it. It is very difficult but that is your test." He preached. I was calm a bit and believe him not fully. "Imran they don't care. They do not! You won't believe it but these people are something else. Imran I believe they are a test that's why I have lived with them these whole years. Everyone has left but I stayed. Imran now I am tired. I cannot do it anymore." I sighed.
I slept at Imran's and we talked till 4am. We prayed and I cried to the One that listens and free us from all troubles.

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