Dear Estella,

22. throuple?

"Halloween is the best holiday. No doubt about it," Devin says with a shrug as she grabs a Cheeto from Asher's bag laid in front of him.

"Speaking of Halloween," Asher pipes up, subtly moving the bag of chips closer to him which earns an eye roll from Devin. "Austin and a few other guys from the football team are throwing a huge ass costume party next Friday."

I tear off a piece of my protein bar as I listen in, curious on how these high school parties go. I, of course, have never been to one, but I've always imagined them to be insane: loud music blaring from various speakers, a collection of red cups scattered throughout the house, etc.

Then again, my interpretation of these kinds of parties is based solely on what I see in movies and television shows I would watch with Brooke almost all the time. But in reality, that idea could be so incredibly inaccurate, and I wouldn't have a single clue.

"And you're telling us this because..."

Asher looks to Devin with a bored expression on his face. "Cause we're going."

"I'm not," she replies. The challenging tone in her voice causes Asher to roll his eyes.

"Dev, we always go," Aaron chimes in from where he sits beside me. "What's the problem with going this year?"

An unwelcomed thought enters my mind in response to his question aimed toward Devin. It hardly makes sense, but at the same time, Devin's feelings toward me never really made sense in the first place. Neither do most of my thoughts.

Maybe I'm the problem.

"I just don't wanna go."

"Of course you don't wanna go," Asher sighs. "You're the biggest— what do they call them?— The biggest Devin Downer I know."

I watch as Devin rolls her eyes.

Here we go again.

"Because I don't wanna go to a stupid Halloween party?" Devin counters as she turns her body to face Asher. "Where you and Aaron get higher than the  clouds and I'm left to babysit you both for an entire night? Where I'm responsible for making sure you don't do anything stupid? Call me a downer all you want, Asher. Excuse me if I'm over putting up with your bullshit all the time."

There it is.

I look at Aaron from the corner of my eye, watching as he sucks in his bottom lip after listening to Devin's call out.

"We can find something else to do—"

"No, no, no. Hold on," Asher interrupts Aaron's suggestion, holding a hand out to gesture for him to stop talking. "You don't get to play innocent, Devin. Cause if I can remember correctly, you're the one who got drunk off your ass a few months ago at Jacob's party and me and Aaron were the ones to make sure you didn't fuck up. It goes both ways, you see? So if you're done putting up with my so-called bullshit then consider me done putting up with yours."

The tension at the small table feels thick, almost suffocating. After a month of knowing them, I've gotten used to Devin and Asher's daily bickering. The day almost feels unnatural without it.

This, however, this is different. Times like these I wish I could speak up, let them know that it's just a party. There will surely be more opportunities to attend one in the future. But I never do. I figure it's not my place to do so.

"We can talk about this another time—"

"I think we should talk about it right now." Asher cuts into Aaron's sentence once again.