Dear Estella,

54. the really good surprise

It's Christmas Eve. I'm almost ready to go to Devin's house. I've already done my makeup and hair as well as I can. My outfit for tonight is waiting for me on my bed, but there's one problem.

I can hardly move.

Every time I try, I feel like I'm inching closer and closer to my death. My stomach tightens and there's this shooting pain through it that makes me want to throw up. I think I might actually be dying.

I hear my window open from the other side of my room. It shuts, and footsteps tread around until they reach where I'm sprawled out on the ground.

"What the hell?" Asher asks as he stares down at me.

I take a second to look at him. He wears black cargo pants, a white t-shirt underneath a plaid flannel and a black Dickies beanie on his head.

I drop my head and face the ceiling.

"I'm dying," I say.

He walks over and crouches right beside me. He brings his hand up and touches the back of it to my forehead. "I don't think you have a fever. Does your stomach hurt? Did you eat something bad?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm okay. Help me up?"

He licks his lips and grabs onto my hands. I sit up slowly, but the second I try to stand the pain returns.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," I repeat as I lie back down on the ground. I press my palms onto my stomach and shake my head.

"Estella," he says as he returns to my side. "You want me to text Dev and tell her we're not gonna make it?"

He pulls his phone out from his pocket, but I snatch it out of his hand before he can send the text. "No, don't. We're going. Just... give me a few minutes."

I bring my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them with his phone in my hand.

"You can't even fucking move," he replies as he takes his phone back. "We're not going."

I close my eyes. "You can still go."

"Not without you."

"Asher, they're your friends. You should go."

"Shut up, Estella," he says as he stands. My eyes follow him as he makes his way to my bed. He grabs two pillows and a blanket before he returns to my side.

"What are you doing?" I ask him as he lifts my head and sets a pillow beneath it.

"Staying with you," he mumbles as he places another pillow beside me. He lies down on his side, propping himself up on his elbow so he's looking at me. "What if you die or some shit?"

I laugh, but it hurts so I stop. "I'm not dying. I'm just being dramatic, swear."

I'm lying. I don't know what's happening to me, but I've never felt pain like this before. I can't even laugh without feeling like my stomach is going to combust. And I'm actually glad Asher's going to stay with me just in case I do end up dying 'or some shit'.

"I don't think you're being dramatic," he replies. "Do you want me to take you to the ER?"

My eyes widen. "No. No way."

"Okay, well what do I do?" He asks.

I shrug. "I think it might just be cramps."