Eliza Gilbert | Damon Salvatore *EDITING*

The Birthday.

"Y'all need to stop being sad and just do coke." My eyes widen as I lift the pillow off my face and look towards the doorway at Jeremy. My mouth drops as the little shit wiggles a small plastic bag with a white substance in it before giving me a shit grinning smile. Jeremy opens the bag dipping a pinky in after licking it as my face fills with disgust. "It really do be like that tho." "I'm hanging myself from the rafters."
"Can I tie the noose?"

"So since Elena is going through a life crisis right now I've decided that the next course of action is to chop her hair off and dye it red." I said as I looked up to Rick as he pulls his blanket from the couch before giving me a look. "Okay look I told Jared my plans but all he did was give me a look before stating and I quote 'if you got red hair you're automatically a bitch.'" Rick shook his head before walking into the kitchen while grabbing a cup of coffee. "Are you sure you're not pushing your problems onto her?" Alaric questioned as he took a seat across from me on the bar top.

"Look Rick I know it seems that I'm falling apart because the one man that I love above all else is ignoring my existence doesn't mean I've got the worst straw so far..you're loved one isn't physically here anymore." Rick gives a small wince at my way of saying Jenna without actually saying her name knowing the last time I said her name he collapsed into a heap on the hardwood.

"Anything on Stefan?" He questioned trying to change the subject, I give a small smile and squeeze his hand before answering. "I got a new lead from Tennessee..I don't know if I should tell Elena this time I can't stand seeing her hope leave her eyes when I come back and tell her he's not there." "You going with Damon?" I give a sarcastic huff looking at Rick. "He won't be in the same room as me, we usually split up and he goes with Andie and I go alone it's my turn to check this time." Alaric nods his head before reaching up and ruffling my hair as we both turn our heads to see my twin enter the Kitchen avoiding my gaze. She refuses to speak to me about Jenna, I know I am the reason she died, she has every right to hate me.

"Well I'm going to stop over at the boarding house, Rick you know I've cleaned out the master bedroom upstairs please use it?" I ask softly before grabbing my keys off the granite counter as I pass Jeremy in the hallway. "I'm risking my life haunting y'all down at 3am and all you have to tell me is I'm fat? Bitch fuck you too."

My car made a few dying grumbles as I cut the engine taking the keys from the ignition before letting out a large breath of air while laying my head down softly on the steering wheel, wanting nothing more than to scream at the top of my lungs but I'm worn out of trying to express my grief in silence. "Hold on I still need you.." I sing quietly to myself steeling my emotions before opening the door of my car and stepping out, as I look over I spot Andies car and the immediate numbing pain fills my heart before opening the door without knocking, it's still my house, no matter how much I've refused to step in it this whole summer. I know he'll hear me whether I knock or not.

I hear the soft squeaking of the water pipes as I cross from the threshold before making my way to the living room, running my hands down my greasy hair, I haven't been taking much care of myself, I shouldn't focus on myself anymore I'm the reason Alaric is in pain and Elena having to be separated from her loved one. I wait for about two minutes just deciding to grab a small piece of paper from my cross body bag starting to write a note to Damon explaining where the next lead is and that I've got it. I don't bother calling or texting him anymore all the texts stay on delivered and all the calls go straight to voicemail.