Bandit (Smokey and the Bandit Part IV)

Act 1, Scene 5 & 6

ACT 1, SCENE 5

Inside of the cafe, Booker pulls out a chair for Clementine. They greet their waitress and order their drinks. The waitress leaves.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Okay, so what do we need to figure out?

BOOKER DARVILLE

How the hell we're gonna get this car. We don't know where this dude lives—

CLEMENTINE SNOW

That reminds me, you never told me who we're taking Trigger from.

Booker thinks this over for a beat.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Holy... I didn't. Well, get ready for this shit. He's the Chief of Police here in Canton...

CLEMENTINE SNOW

You couldn't have told me that 700 miles ago?

BOOKER DARVILLE

Now hold on, because here's the real kicker... He's Sheriff Buford T. Justice's grandson.

Beat. Clementine bursts out laughing.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Guess this means a Justice finally caught the Bandit. It only took him 40 years and three generations.

BOOKER DARVILLE

So you're back on board?

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Uh, hell yeah. This is too perfect to pass up. It's poetic.

Clementine pulls out her phone.

BOOKER DARVILLE

What're you doing?

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Looking up Chief Justice. We may not get an address, but we'll have a start.

Beat. Clementine bursts out laughing once more.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Oh, this really is too perfect.

Clementine turns her phone to him.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

May I introduce to you Buford Bo Justice, A.K.A. Chief Buford B. Justice the third.

Booker's face sours.

BOOKER DARVILLE

He didn't.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Who names their son after the guy he was left for?

BOOKER DARVILLE

Grandma did say that Junior wasn't all there, but this is just weird.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

You think he sounds anything like his granddad?

BOOKER DARVILLE

Christ, I hope not. The way grandpa made it sound was an absolute nightmare. I'd rather stick my ear in a blender.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

What? The way Paw-paw Cletus made it sound, he was hilarious.

Clementine sits up in her seat and sets her phone down, imitating Sheriff justice.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Imma find the tallest tree in the country, and Imma hang ya from it.

BOOKER DARVILLE

(laughing)

F. O.

The waitress returns and sets their drinks on the table and asks if they are ready to order. Booker grabs Clementine's phone.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Actually, beautiful, I was wonderin' if you might be able to tell us where Chief Justice lives, we're old friends.

WAITRESS

I'm sorry, sir, I can't tell you that.

Booker puts on his most innocent smile.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Please?

WAITRESS

I can't hand out personal information like that.

Clementine takes her phone back.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Oh, the smolder didn't work... you know what that means.

Booker turns to Clementine and flips her the bird. Clementine turns to the waitress and reads her name badge.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

It's gonna take a woman's touch.

Clementine smiles as she looks at the waitress. The waitress blushes.

ACT 1, SCENE 6

Booker sits in his truck, watching the sleeper of the GMC sway around. After a minute, he sees the waitress get out of the passenger side, adjusting herself. He gets out of his truck and goes over to the semi and sits next to Clementine. He glances over at her with a blank expression. She smiles as she looks over at him.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Just making friends everywhere you go, aren't ya?

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Jealous?

BOOKER DARVILLE

Not of who you think.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

He lives just north of town on a good-sized piece of land. He's home, so trying to break in now would be a bitch.

BOOKER DARVILLE

I could do something here in town while you go get the car.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

What the hell could you do?

BOOKER DARVILLE

I'll start remodeling the town with Buster.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

Okay, so I can cross GTA and property damage off of my bucket list.

BOOKER DARVILLE

Nah, that'll be me. You'll just get GTA... Oh, and breaking and entering. Imma go raise a little hell, Snow Angel. You take care of the car.

CLEMENTINE SNOW

10-4, Sonuva Bandit.

Booker winks at Clementine before stepping out of her truck. He runs over to Buster and starts it up as Clementine puts her truck into gear. Booker swings out in front of her heading West on HWY 64 before swinging around a corner heading south on HWY 19. Clementine turns the opposite direction heading for Buford's home.