House of Cards || Taejinkook

⚜39⚜ Never let go

♣Taehyung♣

I feel oddly calm as I put my belongings into the carriers. I've never packed my own things before since that's always been Jin's job, but I guess I have no choice but to do it by myself from now on. Of course I could just get a new servant, but that just wouldn't be the same. At this point I don't need one anyway. I'm finally able to stand on my own two feet without having to rely on Jin for help. Guess this means I've accomplished what I was sent here to do. My uncle seemingly can't tell the difference, but I definitely can. Hopefully everyone else will be able to tell soon enough that I've changed for the better. Being kind is quite satisfying actually, so I want to keep doing it. 

No matter what I do, I seemingly can't get everything to fit into the bags. There's no way to pull up the zipper since half the things are sticking out. Is there some kind of secret technique to this that I don't know about? Why did I insist on bringing so much stuff anyway? I might have to leave some of this behind. 

After choosing what clothes I'm fine with leaving, I finally close the bags and bring them to the door. They're heavy and it's really hard to carry when there's three of them. How did Jin get these up the stairs all alone? I should've offered to help. In hindsight I can really see how mean I was. I won't become like that again. I'm a changed man and I'll keep it that way.

One of the bags somehow slip out of my hand on the way down the stairs and it makes a big ruckus as it tumbles down. I bet everyone in the castle heard that. At least it makes it easier for me to walk down with only two of them. I pick up the bag that landed on the second floor and my eyes get draw to the door leading to Jimin's room. 

It leaves me wondering; Will I see him again after this? It's not like we have any type of real connection to keep us together once I'm gone. Would he want to see me anyway? He ran away earlier, so that answer is probably no. Would I want to see him? Yes, definitely. What I feel when I'm with him is unlike with anyone else. He's special. He isn't afraid to put me in my place, he's attractive as hell and he's the first person who ever took the time to really listen and try to help me. I like him a lot. 

I leave the bags unattended for a while to go and knock on his door. I don't want to leave without at least saying something. 

"Jimin? I know you're in there."

I knock again but there's a long silence from the other side. He's definitely hiding in there. He probably doesn't have any plans on coming out just because I tell him to though.

"Alright fine," I sigh. "You don't want to talk to me, but just listen in that case. You already know this, but I'm leaving soon. The limo will be here any minute and after that there's no telling when I'll return. I guess I just wanted to say bye. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or something. Oh, and thank you... for everything."

I wait a moment longer before finally giving up and leaving. He doesn't want to talk to me. I stumble down to the bottom floor and bring my bags outside to where the driver will pick me up. It's a fine day with the sun shining brightly at me.

It's quite insane to think about how different things are now compared to when I arrived. Never in a million years did I think I'd lose my servant to my bratty cousin. I wonder what would've happened if I'd completely refused going in the first place. Would Jin and I have continued like we did forever? I have to ask myself honestly: What were my feelings for Jin? My answer now would probably be that I loved him in my own strange way. I was so reluctant to letting him go for that very reason and the thought of him being with Jungkook angered me. I know better now. This was all for the best. Jin and I wouldn't have been happy together and if anything I'd have just forced him into being with me. That's a sad thought. Some people are just not meant to be and I wasn't meant to be with Jin.