Studio 3 [H.S]

A New Feeling

*trigger warning for eating disorders & anxiety*

'i confess, i can tell that you are at your best. i'm selfish so i'm hating it'

*****

Ciara Bird

'OK, so like, you know how I said that I went through a break-up? I kind of had this idea for this song...Being me...I don't know, jealous? Not wanting her to move on. That sounds really stupid and selfish' he mumbles the last line as I held his notebook and he stared up at the ceiling as if I was his therapist.

'I have an idea' I say and he quickly turns his head to look at me. 'Maybe, I ask you a bunch of questions about the relationship, you tell me those answer and we work them into lyrics...' I suggest and he puts his bottom lip out in interest.

'I like that idea. OK, more questions. Go' he faces back up the ceiling as I sit crossed legged next to him.

'What would be one thing that you would hate to see happen in their other relationship?' I ask and he tilts his head

'Um. Not sure. Maybe, not to have those small moments with her...Like, we used to have little pet names for each other. The name of the song is Cherry which translates to Darling in French...She called me baby...I called her Darling' I nod, writing down those names and then I wonder for a couple second before writing down the lyrics.

'What about "Don't call him baby. Don't call him what you used to call me" or something like that' I suggest and he nods. 'OK, next question; What was the worst thing you hate about being jealous after the breakup?'

'It was like, I have no right to be jealous. It was my fault for us breaking up and I fucked up, I know that but in another way, I knew she was doing what was best for her and that's what makes me selfish for wanting her again. I know she's doing better without me but I still want her again' he explains and I 'hmm' in response.

He sits up, grabbing his guitar and strumming the opening melody before singing the first lyrics. 'Don't you call him "baby". We're not talking lately. Don't you call him what you used to call me' he adds in the second line before I join, singing the next lyrics that came to my mind.

'I, I confess, I can tell that you are at your best. I'm selfish so I'm hating it' I sing and he breaks into a blushed smile.

'You have a beautiful voice' he says, almost in a whisper as I smile back at him.

'Thank you...Um, anyways. Sounds good, next question; What is a positive that came out of this relationship?'

I went blank for a second. My ears ringing, my head pounding. I held my head in my hands to hopefully wipe away the headache until I hear Harry calling my name. 'Ciara, you ok?'

I open my eyes to him sitting crossed legged in front of me, holding my knees in his hands. 'Uh, yeah. Sorry just blanked out for a second. Um, sorry what did you say?' I try to focus again on the song.

'Um, she changed my style and how I dressed. Like in the best way. She would always reassure me to be confident and wear what I wanted to' he nods and I take notes on that. 'I think after that line, we repeat the first line as chorus and maybe add some more lines later on?' he suggests and I nod.

He picks up his guitar, playing the melody as I sing the next line 'I notice that, there's a piece of you in how I dress. Take it as a compliment'

He smiles, singing the repeated chorus and then continuing the longer instrumentals that he wrote a couple of days ago. He stops, expecting me to ask him another question. 'OK, what was one thing you guys used to do...Or what you miss about her'