A life changing trip - wroetoshaw/Miniminter

The Pain Never Fades

Chloe excused herself from the living room leaving her children to carry on watching the film on the tv. Walking into her walk in wardrobe and pulling down a small box that she'd hidden. Filled with photos and memories from her old life with Harry. His cologne wafting her in the face as soon as she opened the box.

She couldn't believe that today was the 15th anniversary of his death. She looked at her life, reaching close to 40 years old, her three children aged 15 and 8 years old. Her husband of 9 years sitting in the office, working on plans for the future. He quit YouTube and began on working on other projects to keep the steady income.

Chloe lifted up a photo of her and Harry dated back to Dani's wedding. Her arms around his shoulder as they kissed in his old house. She could picture it in her mind, walking round and touching the surfaces. Seeing Harry in every room. Replaying memories they created together from their dancing in the bedroom to the cooking in the kitchen. Chloe frowned as she attempted to flatten the edges of the picture, placing it back into the box and pulling out another, leaning against the wall as she reminisced in the old memories.

Even 15 years later she wished she could have just one more conversation with him, just to hear his voice, to hear him say he misses her, he's sorry that he left her, that he still loves her beyond life.

She let a silent, expressionless tear fall from her eye. A small frown remaining on her lips. She picked up her phone and loaded up an untitled playlist of all the songs that reminded her of Harry, lowering the volume and letting it play. The music varied from the song they heard in Iceland, to the song they danced to on Valentine's Day, to the songs that helped chloe through her grieving process.

Each time a different song came on she let out a different emotion. A shy laughter as dance with me tonight came on, making her bite her lip as she remembered Harry spinning her around the room and pulling her close. A dismal sigh of sadness as happiest year turned over on her playlist, reminding of the days she'd lay in bed numb to feelings, listening to lyrics.

She couldn't help but sing quietly, a muted croak as she whispered the lyrics to herself.

"So wake me up when they build that time machine
I want to go back
Wake me up when you were sleeping next to me
'Cause I really loved you, ooh
Thank you for the happiest year of my life."

She pulled out one of Harry's shirts from the bottom, a black and white striped guess top. She held it close to her face as she breathed in the faint smell, although being kept in a box Chloe seemed to replace the scent every time she opened it.

She pulled off her own top and replaced it with his. Curling up on the floor as she continued to view the photos. Pulling out her old phone and plugging it in for charge. Waiting a few minutes before entering her old password.

Incorrect.

Chloe sat up as she entered the password again.

Incorrect, the phone vibrated violently as it erased her previous attempted.

Chloe began to panic as she struggled to remember, thinking of what it used to be. She had too much on that phone to lose.

She shook as she entered another number, instantly unlocking the phone.

"Oh thank god." Chloe sighed with a light laugh.

She scrolled through some of her old texts, continuing on to her camera roll, watching the videos reminding herself of his voice. Only at an older age did she realise how young they sounded, innocent voices that were yet to be exposed to life's horrors.