Riley Hayes | A Vampire Novel | Book 2

Chapter 15 - monster

Damian's pov

It happened again, I lost control. I don't know how it happens, it just is a black space in my mind. But when I look at the blood spatters around the room, my clothing covered in blood, and the humans hurt lying on the ground I just know it was me.

I couldn't help but feel anything but guilt. What would mom say about this? Oh God, I had promised her I would never hurt anyone again.

My eyes landed on a girl lying close to the wall, her body in a very uncomfortable and awkward posture.  I could indirectly see she had broken something in her back.

Her breathing was very irregular and she had blood trickling down her mouth. She was bleeding internally, very little but she was. She must be in so much pain.

Because of me.

"How are you feeling?" My father looms over me. He also had blood spatters in his suit. Probably from chasing me around. "Is the burning gone?"

"Just shut up please." I muttered back, "you promised."I felt so angry. He promised me he wouldn't let me hurt them.

"What? They aren't dead, it is fine." He replied.

I angrily stood up and pointed at the girl I had taken first. I could remember it now, just a bit but I could. She was so scared when I lunged at her.  "she is close to death! She isn't even breathing properly anymore! I'm a murderer."

What is mom going to think? I promised her! I didn't want her to see me as a monster. Like that day she looked at me.

I felt tears springing in my eyes as I thought of her disgust for me. I saw my father walk up to the girl by the wall, "what are you...?" I asked while he grabbed her by the neck and held her up as if she weight nothing.

The girl was crying and begging in a mumbly matter to him. I knew what he was going to do so I was about to rush to him but it was too late.

With his free hand, he plunged a large hole into her chest and fished out her heart. It was still beating slowly as he fished it out.

He let her fall onto the ground, lifeless and bloody. He also let her heart rollout off his hands onto the ground. He even disgustingly licked the blood from his finger, his eyes glowing red as he did.

He then turned to me. "You didn't kill her, clearly I did."

I stuttered and didn't know what to say. He just killed her as if she meant nothing. "It's alright, calm down." I didn't know I was breathing so erratically until my father pulled me into his chest.

"I want mom," I mumbled, I needed her.

"Let's get you cleaned up first yeah? You'll scare the living crap out of her if you go to her this bloody." He sighed, "I didn't think it was this bad, Damian."

He was right if she saw me like this... She'd see me more as the monster I am. Not her son.

The pain I had was fully gone through. No burning, no coughing up blood. I felt relieved from the pain.

Leuca also asked out loud if Tabatha could send humans to clean up the mess in his office. He also told her one was dead three were alive but wounded. One girl woke up and was sniffling quietly on the floor.

It was the girl with a desolated shoulder with bone peeking through her skin, it looked hella painful. She looked at me and instantly looked away.

She was so scared of me. In her thoughts she was thanking God she was still alive and begging him to protect her from me.

I pushed my dad out of the way and opened the door to leave this room, j couldn't be in here anymore. I heard him call out after me but I didn't care, I had to take a shower and get this blood stench off me.

The humans I passed were all petrified of me. I couldn't care less, only mom. I only care about her opinion of me.

I reached my room and threw all the clothes in the bin and then stood under the shower for at least half an hour it felt like. I had to scrub all the blood off.

I was sobbing quietly as I did. Why can't I control myself? Why can't I be the son my mother approves of? I listened to her heartbeat. She was at the end of the hall, in my father's room.

I also heard the tv, she was watching a series probably. She liked that. Focussing on her heartbeat made me calm down to the point I managed to dry myself en clothe myself. Match it with hers. Calm down.

With heavy feet I stumbled to her, I needed her to know I didn't do it on purpose. I hadn't realized I was crying. It just didn't stop.

I saw my dad enter the room first so I doubted if I had to go still, but I have to. I listened to their voices as he already started explaining why his suit was covered in blood.

And then I entered the room. My mother was completely silent as she looked at me. Was she disgusted? I didn't even dare to read her thoughts afraid of her revulsion of me. But instead, she rushed to me and pulled me into a tight hug.

Why?

Why wasn't she angry?

Disgusted?

I did smell anger radiating from her. But I could be wrong. "You should've consulted me first." She remained calm though.

She wasn't talking to me but dragged me in a hug to the bed and kept on holding me. She knew exactly what I needed and I couldn't help but melt into her hold.

"I know. I underestimated his blood lust." My father replied. He was standing in front of her but from my position, I couldn't see him. But I sensed him standing right behind me.

My mother sighed, "it's bad, I could've told you that much."

"He almost killed you, his blood lust is too dangerous. He was sick of drinking animal blood."

That much was true it physically hurt to drink it.

"He was sick?" My mother asked concerned and pulled back from me to look at me. She wanted me to explain while she wiped my tears away.

I looked at the ground, "I coughed up blood." I mumbled.

My father knelt in front of us and placed his hand on my head, "his intestines were damaged. He was deteriorating from the inside. He can't drink animal blood anymore. His body resisted it."

"Oh, sweetie..." My mother pulled me back into her. "why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't want to be a monster."

"Damian Lucas, you are in no way a monster!" She kept on wiping the tears that were now streaming down my face, "are you a crazy idiot? You are not a monster."

"I am! I hurt you, I almost killed you today. I did basically. They were so scared of me mom, she..." I couldn't even get the words out, "she thought of me as a monster."

I didn't see my mother look at my father concerned but I felt her hug me tighter. "We'll figure it out yeah?"