Love and Loss

2

The rain dropped off my umbrella as I stared at the ground. My tears mixed with the rain puddles. I was dressed in all black. Black mascara stained my face as the tears rolled down.

I watched as the casket was lowered into the ground. I let my umbrella drop to the ground. The small droplets of rain hitting my head and shoulders. As I slowly walked closer and closer to the casket, I became completely soaked.

I dropped to my knees right in front of the hole. My bottom lip began to quiver. Before long my wall came crashing down. I cried out in agony. Others around me starred, but I didn't care.

I didn't know most of them. I assumed they were Shoto's old classmates whom I'd never met. After awhile I controlled myself. I stood back up and starred down at the casket.

I blew a small kiss down to the wood box. One more tear fell from my face and to the ground below me. In a saddened tone I said a few finally words to my other half.

"Goodbye Shoto, I'll never forget you."

With that I grabbed my umbrella and walked off. I didn't feel like staying for the food and chit chat afterwards. I didn't feel anything except lost. Todoroki was my everything, and I lost him. I didn't know what to do or think. Everything was numb.

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1 year later

I sat on my couch, looking out at the sky from the view of my apartment. I don't leave my apartment very much anymore. I work from home now, so there's not much of a reason to leave.

I don't eat as much as I use to. It's hard to keep stuff down. I don't get as much sleep either. After todoroki's death I started having nightmares. Even after a year a still get them every time I sleep, so I sleep as little as possible.

My world as felt very grey since that day. The day my life went to hell. I haven't felt real happiness since that day. Most the time I feel nothing, sometimes I'm sad or fearful.

I was spacing out when a knock at the door snapped me back to reality. I yelled for who it was to come in. In walked Momo and Uraraka. Two girls that had messaged me after the funeral. They went to school with Todoroki and they always tried to help me out in any way they could.

"Hey y/n! How have you been?" Momo asked. I did appreciate them always being here for me. They were probably the only two people I hadn't completely shut out.

"I've been fine. Thank you for asking."

"Have you been eating and sleeping at all?" Uraraka asked.

"Yeah a little," I sighed. The truth wasn't I hadn't eaten in about a day, and I hadn't slept in about three. I lied because I didn't want them worrying too much about me. I never wanted to be a bother to anyone, so I always said I was fine.

"Well good, because we're going out tonight!" Momo said with enthusiasm. I slowly blinked once before laying down on the couch.

"I don't feel like it, but I hope you guys have fun."

"Oh cmon y/n, you can't keep saying no to everything."

"Yeah you have barley left the house in a year."

I sighed again. Although I really didn't care for going out, they were right. I probably needed to start to get my life on track again.

"Fine." Both girls squealed out in excitement.

"Yes!! Let's find you a dress!" Mom yelled.

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I starred at myself in the mirror. Uraraka and Momo has picked out my whole outfit for me. I was wearing a tight fit black dress with black heels. My hair was pulled back into a low bun.

In the mirror I was starring at the tattoo I had on my forearm. I got it about three months ago. In fancy font in had a date. That date was the day I first met Todoroki all those years ago. Right below it, it read "I love and miss you Shoto."

Some may say getting those words tattooed on myself would only make me sadder, but I felt this was the best choose. I wanted to be reminded everyday how much I love him and that I'll never forget him.

I was too busy looking at the tattoo that I didn't notice the girls walk into my room. I slightly jumped when Momo spoke.

"My goodness y/n you look amazing!" She yelled.

"Thank you," I said awkwardly scratching the back of my head.

"Are you ready to go?" Uraraka asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

With that we left the house and headed to a club.